Recent topic being deleted

[Martin]

I want to address the recent post that was deleted by the mods.  First of all, we feel that this group is a support group for the men who are using chnlove.  All of the mods are past or present members as well, and have no affiliation with chnlove.

While we encourage members to post their views on any topic, we do have to draw the line every now and then.  Personal attacks are not acceptable.  We are also not here to debate whether or not chnlove is a scam or not.  That is not to say that it can not be discussed...but the thread in question was getting more and more heated, and it was really taking away from what we are trying to do here.

We all know there are women on the site that are scammers.  We also know that there are some pretty shady agencies.  This is always something we should be talking about.  Even a good debate whether in a negative or positive spin is acceptable.  But this debate that was going on, had turned personal, and was getting nowhere.  This post might have turned off new members from either joining, or posting.

I would like to see healthy debate continue.  Life isn't all smiles all of the time, and debates do happen.  But when it turns really negative like the thread did, we have to act.  In this case, the thread was completely deleted.  Sometimes, an individual post might be deleted, if it is harmful in nature, while the rest of the thread will remain in place.

I want to say again, that we are here as a support for the male clients of chnlove.com.  This is our intended purpose here.  We have no intention of editing out all posts, for fear that someone might rock the boat.  We believe in free speech.  But we also have to consider what is good for the group as a whole.  If you are concerned about not being allowed to post something negative, don't worry.  It is when it turns personal and nasty that we will have to act.  Feel free to give your personal opinions on a matter.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them in a reply to this thread.  One of the MODS will be happy to answer your question.

Martin

[Rhonald]

Well said Vince. It's my gut feeling when I thinned sliced the dialouge ( got that term from Malcolm Gladwell's book "Blink") that the person was trying to establish himself as a so called expert. Most of us here have both offered and asked for advice. It takes a bit of gall to be so sure of one's postion without ever stepping one foot into China. I thought you handled the dialouge with him quite well and as others have already claimed - you did not need to prove yourself to us. That being said - congrats on some nice certificates and diplomas.

[metooap]

Guys,

I am no psychologist ? far from it. But I think sometimes the fear of failure can overwhelm some people. Instead of focusing on what is good about Chnlove ? the person was focusing on what little there is bad. That way ? if things did not work out ? hey he has a ready made excuse for failure ? hun?

Anyway ? let?s keep on going here. This forum has certainly been useful to me!

Every time I look at my lady ? I smile - and say hey bring on that fear of failure!

Anthony

[Ed W]

Metooap, I couldnt say it better myself. I only wish you had signed up with your real name since we're quite personal here. Perhaps our mods can fix that but I like your style... Your words remind me of how I was feeling for a while...

[Arnold]

Ed , that is what we want everybody to do , when starting the new Forum format on Saturday . At least a Name , instead of a number or nickname . I brought that up to Martin and Ronan and all the Mod's . In case of multiple same Names , they should add their first letter of their last name .

[Ed W]

I suppose that works well. Can only think of the rare occasion that a name format like this would conflict. How nice it'l be to keep everyone identifiable...

[Arnold]

Yes , we're not asking for all their info . just a name , we can Identify somebody with . If somebody needs to hide behind a number , he wont get my input , or three cent's .

[David]

I understand this post being deleted...  it is not the kind of thing I would want a new member to read.  I tried to talk some sense to the guy.  
But sometimes there is just no sense for the senseless. :roll:

Big Dave

[Danny]

I want to say again, that we are here as a support for the male clients of chnlove.com.  This is our intended purpose here.  We have no intention of editing out all posts, for fear that someone might rock the boat.  We believe in free speech.  But we also have to consider what is good for the group as a whole.  If you are concerned about not being allowed to post something negative, don't worry.  It is when it turns personal and nasty that we will have to act.  Feel free to give your personal opinions on a matter.

Martin

In my humble opinion it was the tone of what was said and the way it was said, rather than the content itself. It was virulent and hostile, and had no place in a forum in which the primary purpose is to provide support to each other. I think if someone wrote text in support of chnlove in the same way as was used in the deleted topic then I wouldn't have any problem in having them tossed out.

People who want to have a crusade against scammers should go elsewhere. There are plenty of places for this sort of thing.

I have been scammed once or twice through chnlove. I've been disappointed with some of the women I've met through chnlove and with some of the translators. But all in all, at this time in my life, I've enjoyed the journey.

Part of the pleasure I've had along the way is getting to know some of the guys here in the facebook and now here at this website.

I come to this forum at the end of the day. I'm tired. I'm not in the mood for people flaming each other. Let's keep it nice.