Author Topic: What do your family/friends think of your lady?  (Read 3597 times)

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brett

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What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« on: September 08, 2009, 09:49:34 am »
Hi all,

Do other members have any thoughts on what their friends and family think about their lovely new Chinese wife/girlfriend?

As far as my new Chinese lovely is concerned, my family is distinctly, er, I think the phrase I'm looking for is "meh".

My mother would love grandchildren, although she doesn't seem to be that interested in her existing granddaughter, let alone more of them. She is glad I am not looking for a Thai girlfriend, even though I have explained that they're not all hookers.

My father is in complete denial about the whole thing, he maybe thinks she is just an Internet thing and not a real person.

My sister is quite excited, and my niece loves the idea.

My brother thinks that getting engaged to somebody you've just met on the Internet is insane, although he is not getting married until 2012 and will no doubt waste $1000's on the wedding, which to me sounds just as crazy.

Male friends are unsure what to think as well, I think they're worried about scammers. Women love talking about relationships so they're cool with it. They may be less than cool when they realise my Chinese lady has a figure they'd kill for.

To be honest though, I am a bid fed up with most of my own friends and family, and I am excited about my new prospective Chinese family plus new friends I am making along the way. I guess it would make a subsquent move to Asia much easier though. My prospective mother in law is from Shanghai, and that is an impossibly exciting and exotic prospect for me :icon_cheesygrin:.

Offline Willy The Londoner

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2009, 10:41:40 am »
Don't worry about what anyone says Brett. If I listened to them back in the UK i would have no life to speak of.  Here I am buzzing and going for the record for the  number of engagements on this forum.  My eldest sister has the right words 'Chase the dream - dont let it be just a dream' .

Mind you a prospective mother in law in Shanghi and a daughter not previously marriage - have you discussed with your beloved if they are expecting you  to hand over a large wad of rmb to compensate the parents?

Willy
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Now in my 12th year living here,

brett

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2009, 11:05:18 am »
No, we haven't talked about money, although both parents are retired and my lady told me that we wouldn't need to help them out financially (I hope she's telling the truth lol).

I'm resigned to the fact that paying off the agency, parents and visa issuing people will be expensive, but hopefully will be worth it :s.

I guess I could offer to fly them over to the UK once in a while, would that appease them? We could also leave my girl's computer behind so they can see us on skype.

Don't worry, I'm not really bothered what anyone thinks. My chemistry teacher told me not to go for a career in science (I ended up with a PhD). And many people thought I was crazy when I self taught myself into a career in IT (which has been pretty lucrative since :icon_cheesygrin:).

David5o

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2009, 11:08:19 am »
Brett,

I agree with what Willy has said here, even though i wasn't hassled in anyway from friends and family.

At the end of the day Brett, it's gonna be your life your living, ....''Not There's''  I'm sure they wouldn't let you influence or live there life's either!!

What i can tell you, is that when the family met Lucy, they were over the moon with her, she wooed them all, including my late wife's friends. haha!! OK, she had advantages over many of the ladies , she does have excellent command of English, but what all could see, ...was that she made me ...''Happy'' and that ''WE'' were happy together!!

But do listen to Willy's warning about marrying a single lady in China, ... it will involve a Red envelope stuffed with cash for mum & dad, just don't be silly about how much you will put in that envelope.

David....

shaun

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2009, 11:14:19 am »
Brett,

The opinions range from one end of the spectrum to the other.  Some of my friends think it is cool, some think women are trying to steal my money, some think I am afraid of American women after divorce, some think I am trying to punish my ex, and some just think I am crazy. I kind of wish they would all think I am crazy and let me do what I want to do.

My ex thinks I want to have sex with a sex slave 24/7 and have her clean the house when she is not in bed with me.  I'm OK with her thinking that. I won't tell her any different because I don't need her approval and she is extremely jealous about it.

All three of my kids want me to re-marry their mother. I understand but tell them as gently as possible that it will not happen.  They ask me why? Because I want a beautiful woman to cook, clean, and have sex with me 24/7.  NOT really.  They know about Pinky, two don't like it the third just asks me every now and then, "are you still talking to her?"  I say yes.

My sister and a couple of women who want to date me say that I am afraid of American women and want one who will do everything I want her to do; that I cannot handle a woman who says no to me. Well, I just let them think that.  Arguing with them is pointless.

There is one young woman who is 27 and so beautiful and attentive is all into what I am doing. I tell her all the time that if she wants to leave her husband and children I would dump any woman I was with and take her in.  She just laughs and calls me silly. She also knows that I am not serious when I say it.  Rats!!!!!!!!

My mother just wants me to be happy.

Male friends?  They look at her pictures on my cell phone and say, "You the man!!!!"

Shaun

brett

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2009, 11:18:41 am »
Ha ha, when my male friends see my beloved's photo they certainly will say "you the man".

What sort of cash is required in the red envelope? Does it depend on the lady's age and beauty or her cooking skills (which I don't think are that great lol). And I take it the agency might need a red envelope as well (or I may need to refund my lady's fees)?

David5o

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2009, 11:27:11 am »
Shaun,

WOW!!, There seems to be an awful lot of sex going on in your post here!! I hope Pinky knows, what she's letting herself in for here??  hahaha!!   ....We seem to get worse as we get older don't we ??...Especially Willy  haha!!  But he does have his namesake to keep up with..lol!!

David....

Offline Willy The Londoner

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2009, 11:32:45 am »
Quote from: 'brett' pid='15953' dateline='1252423121'

Ha ha, when my male friends see my beloved's photo they certainly will say "you the man".

What sort of cash is required in the red envelope? Does it depend on the lady's age and beauty or her cooking skills (which I don't think are that great lol). And I take it the agency might need a red envelope as well (or I may need to refund my lady's fees)?


I think on your next webcam chat you should ask her what she thinks is a reasonable amount for the red envelope.  She may have already discussed this with them but with Chinese ladies you will be the last to know unless you ask her directly.  It may, hjopefully be, a low amount but in some cases it has been a very high demands indeed.

And when the demand has not been met the father has withdrawn consent and the average Chinese girl will not go against her parents no matter how much they love a man.

Willy
Willy The Lpndoner

Now in my 12th year living here,

David5o

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2009, 11:34:06 am »
Brett,

It depends, but don't be talked into to giving over too much, by your lady, her parents, or by some on this Forum. There is just no need for it Brett. There are threads here on the Forum that cover this subject, go dig them out and see what you think. Then if you have any further questions on it, come back and post them....

David....

shaun

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2009, 11:35:32 am »
Quote from: 'David5o' pid='15954' dateline='1252423631'

Shaun,

WOW!!, There seems to be an awful lot of sex going on in your post here!! I hope Pinky knows, what she's letting herself in for here??  hahaha!!   ....We seem to get worse as we get older don't we ??...Especially Willy  haha!!  But he does have his namesake to keep up with..lol!!

David....


David,

I am a simple and humble man. I can only repeat what others say. :blush:

Then I read what Pinky has to say to me and all I will say is that I am a simple and humble and lucky man because she just might be worse than Willy. :icon_cheesygrin: :icon_cool:

Shaun

David5o

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2009, 11:37:22 am »
Shaun....

In that case, ......WOW!! Again!!

David....

Offline Jadams79

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2009, 01:41:06 am »
My dad is clueless. My stepfather thinks I'm crazy. My 3 sisters think its cool that I'm moving to China, and since stopped asking me for stupid sums of money. Everyone else in my family supports the idea. So I guess I have a fairly easy path of least resistance.

Then again they all could be more curious to see if I am turned into dumplings at the end of the day too. My family is sick that way......
Can't fix stupid.

Offline JimB

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #12 on: September 14, 2009, 02:11:22 am »
I am blessed with a family of support. at first they all thought it was just for fun, then they thought she might be after a green card, then when I announced my intentions they supported me 100%.  (Now behind my back I know a couple thought I was nuts, but they still supported me).  My ex thinks it is unnatural and why any 42 year old would marry a 58 your old man unless it was for money or a green card.

Now they see how happy I am with her any doubts they may have had are gone.  they cant wait for her to get to the States and start "converting her".  I told them to keep their hands off or I will disown them and move to China permanently. lol.
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brett

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #13 on: September 14, 2009, 08:12:38 am »
I think my family are surprised that after 37 years on the planet I suddenly want a wife. But it's boring being on your own, and I don't want to get to 50 and think "well that was a good life, what do I do now?". I still don't know if I want kids or not, but I think I'd be cool either way. A friend of mine has just had twins with his girlfriend. I don't think he planned on getting either a girlfriend or kids (he's the most laid back person I know) but he seems pretty happy with the way things turned out.

I think my family will like my lady though, there's no doubt about that. I am starting to think that having a beautiful wife could be a great honour, and a great liability :blush:.

Arnold

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RE: What do your family/friends think of your lady?
« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2009, 10:18:12 am »
Well , most of my Step-kids and some of my In-laws ... not so much my own Family back in Germany , thought of course that I was carzy / nut's and the Visa thing was their favorite reason .
Now , that we been married over a year ... now everybody can't wait to meet her . Especially all my Neighbor's , which are like a Family to me and I to them . So , I get to hear ... WHEN ? WHEN ? a lot . haha
Maybe deep down , they only believe it ... WHEN they see it . :icon_cheesygrin: