Author Topic: Brian resurfaces in China  (Read 16434 times)

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Offline Voiceroveip

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #15 on: September 15, 2009, 06:04:22 am »
Sounds like this will have a happy ending, or should I say a beautiful start! Congratulations!
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Offline MLM

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #16 on: September 15, 2009, 08:07:22 am »
Brian, Congrats on a wonderfull trip and having a wonderfull lady in Zhen, but I gotta tell you, you'te getting real close to that kick in the seat of your pants, not fair making us wait for her answer. :icon_cheesygrin:
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Offline RobertBfrom aust

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #17 on: September 15, 2009, 08:18:13 am »
Well the percentage is definitely on the up , having waited for hours [ must be a long breakfast ] , I along with Ying offer my congratulations , Me thinks we should have another calender of wedding / red book and celebration dates so that brothers can refer to it and maybe bend their travel plans to suit as we increase our numbers on this site , regards Robert .
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #18 on: September 15, 2009, 08:40:33 am »
Robert, If you mean a list of dates they were married I can put their dates in against their names at "Who's your mate?" If your referring to celebrating the day they get married? As we've seen most don't know the date until they find out it's time to go down there. :icon_biggrin:



Quote from: 'RobertBfrom aust' pid='16689' dateline='1253017093'
Me thinks we should have another calender of wedding / red book and celebration dates so that brothers can refer to it and maybe bend their travel plans to suit as we increase our numbers on this site.
« Last Edit: September 15, 2009, 08:44:46 am by Vince G »

David5o

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #19 on: September 15, 2009, 08:54:43 am »
Vince,


Yeah, and never truer words have been spoken. ...haha!!
And, ..... they better get used to being the last to know whats going on too, This it seems, is one trait that is common to all Chinese ladies. It took me a hell of a long time, to get her to tell me about the things she had planned for me, herself, or for us!!  So in the main, i now know what's happening and when it's happening in good time, .....Not the 45 to 60 minutes before it's happening as it was before!!!!!

David.....

Offline JimB

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #20 on: September 15, 2009, 09:30:14 am »
Well, I sure as heck do not know what happened at the hotel.  Of course I did not leave a message as they told me they never heard of Brian.  But without your last name... anyway.  I am glad everything is going well.  if you are still in Beijing call me.  15810501936, that is Gina's phone number.  have Zhen call her and we can still meet up if you want to.  Where did she take you for Peking Duck?  i have the best restaurant for it in Peking.  Far and away the best meal i have eaten here. You just cant beat it. for 4 people about $80.00 US.  A bit pricey for here but well worth it.   Did she teach you how to properly eat it?  There is an art to that.
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Offline Brian Mc

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #21 on: September 15, 2009, 11:04:26 am »
Quote from: 'JimB' pid='16695' dateline='1253021414'

Well, I sure as heck do not know what happened at the hotel.  Of course I did not leave a message as they told me they never heard of Brian.  But without your last name... anyway.  I am glad everything is going well.  if you are still in Beijing call me.  15810501936, that is Gina's phone number.  have Zhen call her and we can still meet up if you want to.  Where did she take you for Peking Duck?  i have the best restaurant for it in Peking.  Far and away the best meal i have eaten here. You just cant beat it. for 4 people about $80.00 US.  A bit pricey for here but well worth it.   Did she teach you how to properly eat it?  There is an art to that.


Hiya Guys,

Sorry Jim we are now in Handan and i have only three days left till i have to leave Zhen.  Oh man that is gonna be a painful parting let me tell you.  As for the duck I am not sure which restaurant it is but it has a big plaque inside saying its the original peking duck restaurant and yes it was a tad pricey but worth it for sure.  

as for how to eat the duck we did it as follows.  Take a very thin wrap, coat some sauce on it and add the duck and some long thin green/white veggie, then fold it up like a wrap and eat it like that.  It as a great meal.


anyway ttime for another update, since I see some of teh guys are a little upset about Zhen taking me to breakfast heheheh.

Brian

Offline Voiceroveip

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #22 on: September 15, 2009, 11:08:07 am »
The green-white veggies are sliced leeks! Delicious, I'm craving for Peking duck now ...
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Offline JimB

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #23 on: September 15, 2009, 11:14:46 am »
And every piece of Duck must have a bit of skin on it.  The duck hearts are also excellent.
Maxx's 24 hour rule, learn it, live it.

Offline Brian Mc

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #24 on: September 15, 2009, 12:15:12 pm »
Greetings brothers,

Time for another update.

So anyway there i was dropped on my knees Zhen is sitting on the bed with this really serious look on her face and I asked her in English to marry me.  Now keep in mind that her english is not that good, in fact its terrible so i am not sure if she understood.  The electronic translator is on the bed behind here and neither one of us thought to use it.  Oh and yes I am stalling lol sorry.  SHE SAID YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So there we are the evening of day three, first day without a live translator and she said yes.  i am now engaged to marry the most beautiful loving wonderful caring petite beautiful erm sorry woman in the world.  

needless to say that was the best night of my life.  Oh and no there was no bed sharing involved.  She is a traditional virtuous chinese lady and I love that about her, so nothing expected no dissapointment right?

however we have certainly pushed the limits of that wonderful virtue more than a bit, and thats all I am gonna say about it.

Ok so next day its off to find an engagement ring, and let me tell you that is an experience and a half, shopping for high priced items in china.  They treated us like royalty.  They brought us chairs, cold drinks, several ladies waiting on us and the store manager supervising.  It truly was a magnificent experience.  It took us about an hour to settle on a little diamond in white gold setting with a price tag of just over 115k rmb.
Yes thats 115000 rmb.  Bloody expensive trinket let me say.  However first of course i am just kidding its not a tinket, and second yes that really was the sticker price.

So of course the price negotiations kicked in and it turns out I am fairly good at the chinese passion for haggling.  End result the ring cost me just under $1900 cdn.  my lady Zhen really puts the diamond to shame but it looks so beautiful on her finger and we love each other so much so who cares about the cost.  Oh and just to be clear I did not haggle the price down from $19000 to $1900, seems we hit the store on the right day as they were havng a huge sale so we lucked in pretty good.

Soory guys Zhen and I tease each other a lot and I guess it carried over here hehe.

 Anyway sight seeing wise I think we did the forbidden temple that day,  its funny but i have completely lost all track of time and day since I arrived here.   Anyway it was some type of chinese scenery with lots of pictures of Zhen and some scenery ones too.

After supper in teh same little restaurant we went for our walk and language lesson about Tian An Men Square and had a good time as always.  Seems we both manage to hang on to words for a few hours then they vanish like smoke, but we have fun trying and since we are spending time together who cares.  Also we did the coffee shop again for an hour.  Seems many foreigners cant get over us as a couple as they are constantly staring, but then Zhen is so beautiful its hardly surprising.

Affection wise things just keep getting better and better but of course we dont kiss in public, but we are still very affectionate toward each other.  It looks and feels like we have been together for years, and that private little way of communicating keeps growing.  Often one of us only has to look toward something and we know what is wanted or what we are going to do next.  We barely use the electronic translator at all although I must admit our most used words in chinese are i do not understand lol.  Still we are having a great time with things and we learn from each other quite well.

Day 5 in Beijing ( i think)

Oops before I forget, my luggage finally showed up from its own little trip the day that Zie went back to the agency.  The airline delivered it to the hotel and everything was good except my light jacket that I had in an unlocked outer pocket was gone.  All in all no biggie since I finally had some clean clothes.

Well its time to leave Beijing and travel the 442 miles to Handan Zhen's home town.  We go by bullet train since I have never been on one and I didnt want to take 8 hours by normal train.  however travelling on that train and dragging all my luggage and hers was a pain let me tell you.  my suitcase was too big for the overhead rack and Zhen would not let me put it in the luggage area so it sat between our two seats and Zhen was forced to sort of half hang over it and hang her legs in the aisle.  She would not let me move it to my side so she would be comfortable, but rather made sure i was comfortable first, and i couldnt get her to let me share the discomfort.  And people wonder why we love these women eh?

So finally arrive in Handan and go to the hotel that the agency booked for me.  Managed to get settled in and then it was off to supper with her four best friends.

Well sitting at a table with Zhen her 4 beautful friends and one daughter and me was quite a hoot.  Here I am looking like some Sheik with his harem in a chinese resataurant hehe I loved it.  Of course I got the third degree all over again from the friends for a couple of hours, but in the end it was pretty obvious to them that I loved Zhen an she loved me. Every one of them commented on my good temper as they put it and patience and care for Zhen so i think I made major brownie points with them.  Still nothing like getting grilled by four and a half chinese women about my intentions for their best friend.  They also had much laughter at my efforts to use chopsticks but at the same time i earned much respect for at least trying.  Zhen of course was a dutiful Lao Po and everyone noticed how she cared for me.  All in all it was a great night.

So after dinner with the friends they said goodbye and Zhen took me back to the hotel, all teh way to my room where we did a bit more language training.  We still forget most words we learned the day before but slowly we are making progress.  Then Zhen left for the night with promise to come get me at 8 am next morning.

So in summary we are really coming together very well as a couple and that private language of ours keeps growing.  Anytime we need money I pull 2500 rmb at a time from the bank machine and hand it all to her.  She takes care of everything and makes sure I want for nothing.  I have to say that she has a remarkable skill at looking after me and I love it.

One little thing we did some shopping and she asked to buy an item she saw but I looked at the price tag and said we should conserve our money, and that was all that was said.  she didnt get upset or pout or any bad feelings at all.  She took my hand and gave me a smile and we carried on as if it had never happened.

So lessons learned?  keep up with as close to a routine as you can and never neglect the language practice.  If you feel trusting in your lady give her your money and let her do her thing,  if yours is like my Zhen she will not waste it on anthing silly.  Anytime she wants to buy something for herself, she always asks frst, then asks if I like it and then asks if the price is ok with me.  Show her as much love and affection and trust as you can and be respectful of her and her ways.  So far Zhen and I havent even come close to an issue except when I said no to a purchase but we are so good together now it didnt even faze her a bit.

We discuss everything together and i get my say and then we do what she planned anyway lol, but at least I get asked first .  If its something I dont want to do or eat or whatever she gives me my way wthout batting an eye.  I truly believe this is because we have built up respect and trust and of course we love each other.

Also never push her for affection beyond what she wants to give.  You are in her backyard and you dont know who may be watching.  Follow her lead in all things chinese and you will get along great together.

We have seen a few other mixed race couples both in Beijing and Handan and none of them looked anywhere near as happy as Zhen and I.  I am not bragging here but it seems we just seemed to have gotten it right very quickly and its grown from there.

So here ends day one in Handan.  Its been one hell of a great trip and as others have said definitely a trip of a lifetime.

Regards,

 Brian

Offline MLM

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #25 on: September 15, 2009, 02:40:33 pm »
keep up the great work Brain, happy to hear its all working out for you. :icon_cheesygrin:
TIME IS THE TELLER OF ALL TRUTHS AND THE HEALER OF ALL HURTS

Offline Brian Mc

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #26 on: September 15, 2009, 02:52:10 pm »
Greetings brothers,

Well i cant sleep and Zhen wont be here until noon tomorrow (today?) so I will post some more stuff.

On my last post I mentioned i couldnt remember what scenic sight we saw on day 4 I think it was.  Well silly me how could anyone forget, we did the great wall at Badaling.  Now we of course were stupid and signed up for the whole tour package.  What an experience that was.  

First the tour guide had to tell us about every rock and blade of grass along the entire bus ride.  We stopped at a bunch of irrelevant places to do relatively minor and insignificant stuff, except for one thing.  We took in the beijing wax museum.  That was quite a good place to visit and i got pictures of almost all the exhibits.

The rest of the many stops on the trip really sucked as far as I was concerned and lunch was yet another strange example of the chinese mindset.  Imagine if you will a banquet hall filled with round tables for nine people.  However until ther full nine are seated they will not give you any food.   Eight people and no food.  So every table scrambles to grab any stray person that walks in just so they can eat lunch before their tour bus leaves.  Quite an experience and definitely not one I would want to repeat.

The wall itself was impressive but yet again for Zhen and I it was humid over 30C no breeze and no shade.  Climbing that wall in those conditions really sucked and I was soaked by the time we reached the top.  It was a good time but I am not very heat tolerant, and even Zhen felt the effects.  All in all i would have preferred to skip the multiple irellevant detour stops and concentrate on the museum and the wall but oh well.

Now some random thoughts in no particular order.

From reading all the posts on this forum about trips and ladies and issues and problems etc i have to say that I was truly one of the luckiest guys to make the trip to China.  my entire trip has basically continued right from where our last letters to each other left off.

We felt the instant chemistry and attraction for each other, everything between us went exactly as we both had envisioned in our heads except for the not kissing until day 3.  Now all things considered that is a minor thing.

I proposed to Zhen on the evening of day 3 but I am utterly sure she would have said yes right after my 3rd degree grilling on day1 which was my birthday.  After that lunch and the discssion I am sure she would have said yes.

About the money stuff.  I sent her $500 cdn about 4 or 5 days before i left Canada which is about 3000 rmb.  She used 2000rmb of it to pay her agency meet fee and the rest to get herself and translator to Beijing wth plentyy left over.  Trust was never an issue as far I we were concerned.  While she never said she paid the agency fee out of teh money I sent it was fine with me as I was prepared to pay it anyway.  From my viewpoint it was something that had to be done that we didnt discuss and so she just took care of it.

About the whole romantic versus using your head thing.  Yes I am as romantic as any man can possibly be.  Zhen however is even more romantic than  am so there was great potential for this to blow up in our face as soon as we met.  However, we also dscussed all the important stuff in our letters and webcam before I went over there, so to our minds we already had a solid base to work from.

I am lucky because we both remembered all the important things we discussed in the letters so we didnt have to cover that ground again.  Also as for the affection stuff, I constantly touch her on some part of her body virtually every second we are together.  we must say I love you or wo ai ni to each other hundreds of times a day.  We never tire of saying it and we never tire of the physical contact.

we are either holding hands or I rub her back or leg, stroke her hair, kiss her etc etc.  This was our way right from the hug at the airport and still goes on even now.  This works very well for us but your mileage probably will vary.If we get seperated in a crowd or where ever it is only a second or two before Zhen stops and looks for me and comes to me or I to her.  Its like we live off the physical and emotional contact, and instantly notice when its not there.  again this is totally natural to both our personalities so may not work well for others.

I have said to her many times and also to her friends that as far as i am concerned Zhen is the most beautiful woman in the world.  her friends often ask if I find other chinese ladies beautiful and of course I say yes they are but I always add that none  are as beautiful as my Zhen. I think this reassures Zhen that i am serious about her and not interested in other women.

Once she asked me if I would end up cheating on her ( her first husband did and thats why they divorced) and I guess I had such a look on my face  tha it scared her.  I asked her what was wrong and she said at that moment she feared me!!.  Needless to say I had to convince her again that she should never fear me regardless of what we said or did and that I would never hit her or abuse her or mistreat her or even shout at her.  It took a few minutes to get things right again but it was quite the eye opener.  again it goes back to being very carefull what emotion runs across your face because Zhen at least picks up on it really fast.  In my letters I had told her that I do not drink, smoke, gamble, or do drugs, and would never hit her abuse her or raise my voice to her but i think this episode really made it sink in for her.

So much advice and wisdom I have gleaned from this forum and virtually all of it has stood me in good stead with Zhen right from the beginning.  The only subject we have not discussed is politics and the reason we dont talk about politics is because neither one of us cares about the subject.  We have discussed money, our future life, where we will live, religion, children etc etc even sex and if we are happy with each other.

For everyone just starting out I would highly recommend reading every thread on every forum on this site, do as Scottish Rob  suggests and take notes in a notebook, and really work through everything here to glean the wisdom that is here for you to learn.  Virtually every question you could ask has been asked at least once and answered also.

About travel in China.  you have not lived untill you travel by taxi in china.  It is a totally different experience that most places in the western world.
The utter confusion and disregard for what we consider rules of the road is unbelievable.  However i have never seen an accident here in china, not even a fender bender or even a scratch to a car bike or person.  The way bikes and pedestrians weave through traffic even at night when they are barely visible is astonishing.  To me it seems the horn use is really a subtle language with each horn blast meaning a different thing, its like its a code.  The buses are also quite the experience, as they will pack people in regardless of how many seats the have.

Climate: In both Beijing and Handan in early to mid semptember the heat is still a problem if you are unacustomed to it and the taxis rarely turn on the air conditioning, same inside the buildings, so be prepared for high humidity and heat.  Bring a wide brimmed comfortable hat, sunglasses and definitely sunscreen.  Also it seems there is rarely any wind here so the heat can be stifling.

Food.  Be prepared to eat a massive variety of food every day.  Much of what I have eaten this past few days I would never have thought i would and most of it I never knew the name of.  However by teh same token most of it has been delicious.  I told my lady Zhen what i would not eat and she remembered everything and only orders teh rest  Be brave and trust your lady as far as teh food goes, she probably will not steer you wrong, I know Zhen hasnt.

Well i am finaly nodding off so I will end here for now.

Regards,

Zhen and Brian

Arnold

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #27 on: September 15, 2009, 05:37:15 pm »
Congrat's Brain and Zhen , now don't wake up and think it was all a Dream . hahaha
But then again .. looking at that big Diamond will tell you it's real .:heart:
« Last Edit: September 15, 2009, 05:37:30 pm by Arnold »

Vince G

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #28 on: September 15, 2009, 05:41:58 pm »
PHOTOS

Scottish_Rob

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RE: Brian resurfaces in China
« Reply #29 on: September 15, 2009, 06:19:38 pm »
ROFLMAO....Go on Vince you tell him mate....LOL:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin: