How long before talking about meeting?

[Voiceroveip]

Guys, I need your input!

I've been talking to this gorgeous girl for only ten days but she is constantly intensifying the letter romance, first she finds me attractive, then handsome, and now she says she dreams of me and misses me.

In a previous EMF she asked me if and when I would be able to come to China but I actually ran out of space with the character limit in the reply and forgot to tell her I already have plans since I trade with Chinese companies.  So in my last EMF, I said that I would be in China in November and asked her where she would be as I would like to meet her a lot.

I got a really nice EMF back, she responded well to my previous message except the part about me coming to China and us meeting up, even though she is even more romantic about me now and to be honest is starting to drive me crazy :icon_cheesygrin:

So was this too early to talk about it (it's still 8-10 weeks until then), am I getting my change back for omitting that reply previously, did the translator give up after 4500 characters, or ...?

What's your view and your experience on that? How long was it for you before you adressed that subject?

Cheers,
Voice

[David5o]

Voice,

Surely, if you were  going to China anyway on business, it doesn't really matter does it ?? I would imagine, the sooner you meet each other, the sooner your gonna find out if there is chemistry there between you or not. Seeing as your going on a business trip, how long do you intend to be in China, and how much of your time in China are you envisaging spending with your lady?? If she thinks that she is just a side issue to your business trip, then you may find her not being as forthcoming, or as her natural self with you.

Most of the guy's here wait around 6 months before going out to meet there ladies, but that's because of personal circumstances, rather than them waiting a set period of time. I'm sure most of them would love to be in the same position as you, in being able to go to China in a relatively short period of time.

The same warnings apply to you, as the rest of the guy's though, in that you go there with your eye's wide open, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst. Only you know how far down the line you think you are with your lady.

Best of luck to you .....

David....

[shaun]

Be wise, voice.  As David said, eye's wide open. The first thing I thought was translator talking.  I am sort of a newbie here so don't take my word, there are others more than qualified than I.  David has been there several times and is married to a Chinese woman so he is qualified.  I have not been there and have been talking with my girl since April.

One thing for sure, if she is real and you commit to seeing her because if plans change or you change your mind she will not be impressed with you at all.  I've learned the hard way, if you say you are going to do something then you had better do it.

Shaun

[David5o]

Shaun,

I'm not married yet...hahaha!! But you could well say as good as, as we've been living together for 3 years now, so i get all the same crap and benefits as the married guys here!! ...haha!!

As Voice is going to China on a business trip, he's not really in the same position as the other guy's going to China to meet their ladies for the first time, which is why i didn't really dwell on the down side of things. If things go belly-up, his not going to be left high and dry as other Brothers would be, so to speak!!

I think in this circumstance, he just needs his eyes wide open, and his common sense will tell him if anything is a miss, or not quite right. I was more conserned with how much time he could spend with his lady, him being on a business trip and all.....

David....

[shaun]

Shaun,

I'm not married yet...hahaha!! But you could well say as good as, as we've been living together for 3 years now, so i get all the same crap and benefits as the married guys here!! ...haha!!

As Voice is going to China on a business trip, he's not really in the same position as the other guy's going to China to meet their ladies for the first time, which is why i didn't really dwell on the down side of things. If things go belly-up, his not going to be left high and dry as other Brothers would be, so to speak!!

I think in this circumstance, he just needs his eyes wide open, and his common sense will tell him if anything is a miss, or not quite right. I was more conserned with how much time he could spend with his lady, him being on a business trip and all.....

David....

David,

I'm available to perform the ceremony!!!!  :icon_cheesygrin:  Just had to say it.  Not really or yet anyway, but hopefully will be by the time I get to China. When time permits I am working on an international license.

I see your point about not being high and dry.  I'll learn as I hang around her.  

Shaun

[Voiceroveip]

Hey David, I guess you're right about the lower risk since it's a business trip. But I am sort of rushing it a bit although November is nice to be in Guangzhou and around. I really only need 2-3 days in China but am planning to extend it quite a bit if we can meet. I suppose I could always do some sight seing but my absence will cost me as I have to shut down business durning that time, I'm still my only employee and that will only change in January when I can start to hire.

I will make sure to alternate plans and all, I just happen to know this agency from before and I think that even if they are money hungry as usual, they are not phishy, I put them to the test before. Shaun, I don't think it's the translator talking, although if business is slow, who knows!

I just wonder because some other girls I'm writing to are hassling me about when I will be coming, and they don't know me any better than this one, except that this one has got me wrapped around her finger. :angel:

[David5o]

Hi Frank,

Depends on what your business is, maybe you can keep on top of if via the internet.

You said somewhere you were made in Germany, maybe... but i reckon your a Brit, and your parents were probably in the forces, or maybe one of your parents are German! haha!!.. but i'm just guessing now!!  haha!! Just that your English, and i mean in the way you use your English, tells me your not German!! lol!!

The more knowledge you have about the agency and the woman the better. All the ladies on chnlove are different and go about things differently, some will see it as possible scamming others will see it in other ways, it's basically down to you to weed out the chuff from the honest/good one's....

David.....

[Voiceroveip]

Hi Frank,

Depends on what your business is, maybe you can keep on top of if via the internet.

You said somewhere you were made in Germany, maybe... but i reckon your a Brit, and your parents were probably in the forces, or maybe one of your parents are German! haha!!.. but i'm just guessing now!!  haha!! Just that your English, and i mean in the way you use your English, tells me your not German!! lol!!

The more knowledge you have about the agency and the woman the better. All the ladies on chnlove are different and go about things differently, some will see it as possible scamming others will see it in other ways, it's basically down to you to weed out the chuff from the honest/good one's....

David.....

David, Lol no way! Me a Brit?

Weisst Du, dass ich Gutes Englisch spreche liegt eher an meiner englisch-sprechenden ex-Frau, und ich habe ein Paar Jahre in den Vereinigten Staaten gewohnt und gearbeitet. Auch später habe ich hauptsächlich auf Englisch in Süd-Europa gearbeitet, daher mein Englischniveau. Und falls mein Deutsch etwas mittelmässig ist liegt das daran das es zumindest schrifltich selten benutzt wird!

Mais j'habite bien en France et j'ai toujours mon passeport allemand! Et je compte bien apprendre le Mandarin aussi! Et je ne suis certainement pas un rosbeef!

Google translate me that , I wrote it so I don't know if Google can churn it into something understandable, maybe you'll believe me, maybe not, but I am German and live in France!

I tested the agency in January, got the girl whose reality I questioned on regular QQ with webcam, we were just not made for each other in the end :angel: That doesn't mean a scam is impossible of course.

Hmm... still wondering why the only paragraph she skipped was my coming over ...
Ooops, my business is online retail + wholesale, so I have to stall the retail 24 hours before leaving and can turn it on a few days before getting back. The wholesale can keep going to some extent except I can't ship anything, thus the employees planned in January. Right now I need to generate cash quickly to expand product offering and revenue potential, employees would slow me down and I can sort of handle it alone for the moment, although the work load is humongous. But I'm not complaining, in the general economic context I was pessimistic and it turns out I'm exceeding initial expectations by 120% in the first 6 weeks, I had to put prices up in order to be able to handle all the orders ...:icon_cheesygrin: So I'm not complaining.

[David5o]

Frank,

Your English certainly fooled me ...lol!!,  your probably one of these lucky buggers that pick languages up easily too!! ...hahaha!!

Well, you certainly seem to know what your doing, you may even end up with a China based business/lover partner, ....now how bad can that be?? haha!!  What sort of stuff do you deal in Frank??

David....

[Voiceroveip]

David,

My business plan actually includes setting up an office and logistics in China, it's a little tough to buy full container loads everytime, the volume is not alwys there in sales depending on what it is. But that's not going to happen for another year or two, but I will surely try to convince my future beloved to keep her Chinese passport so that this can be done easily.

Right now I'm dealing in domestic water treatment solutions, but it's really just a niche that looked interesting, the business model is basically to take on brick and mortar business that hasn't gone online yet or is not very competitive yet, cut past the uncompetitive wholesale reseller model and generate high margins until some one else joins the party, all this with good business morality of course, meaning great products at even greater prices and great service (service is generally terrible in France, so offering that makes the word of mouth work, I have positive comments on many forums already, and didn't initiate a single one :angel: ). I haven't advertised anywhere yet, just some search engine optimisation and a referral programme, and it's taking off, I only started real operations end of July. It's just a lot of work to find interesting niches, but there are a good few and probably many more that remain to be discovered. Even if the business doesn't grow anymore now, I can already live off it, so I'm quite happy right now although a bit overworked and lonely

About the languages, I guess the best is to start early, I learned French at age 8 and English in the US at age 12, later some Russian and the next project is Mandarin, I have a few phrases but not enough to get around or follow a conversation, but I'm sure "total immersion" should help there. From my experience, the first foreign language is hard because the brain has to get the concept, but from then on it gets easier, I picked up some Spanish and Italian just through a few business trips.

[Scottish_Rob]

It took us 4 weeks to 'really' talk about a visit, although going to see her was mentioned in the first reply I got from her...Well the way it was mentioned was thus, "...I hope some day you would come to my country and visit me, but I am not trying to push you into that before we know each other well..."

We started about 4 weeks into our contact, which was about after maybe 40/45 emf's...

[Voiceroveip]

Hmmmm  ... my ex-gf, I met online as well, but here in France although she is Chinese, no translator though as her French was pretty good, she had been in France for 10 years already. Complete accident BTW, but she got me hooked on Chinese ...

We exchanged about 4 messages, she gave me her phone number because she wanted to hear my voice, we talked about 1 hour and met a few days later, and we were kissing maybe 10 days after the first exchange. It lasted 2 years and almost went for the long run, almost, almost perfect.

So 4 weeks it quite long Rob, hell I'm a pretty good EMF writer but 40 ... what were you talking about with her? :icon_cheesygrin: But I'll try and be patient, but I'll send her flowers next week for her B-day.

[Scottish_Rob]

Voice in case you haven't noticed, there are people on her who will tell me, that is 'why' I will probably be successful, because I spoke to Keren about everything and anything.  I left NO STONE unturned...Our letters were always so long that many many times it took two...I know some may think that this was just the way for getting more money from me...BUT it was ME who was doing the asking

When I get there in November, I want to know as much as I can about her and her culture...Simple as That.

[Voiceroveip]

Lol OK, I just don't always dare to ask too many questions, and a lot of those questions I can answer without asking her because of my little experience! The cultural thing is mostly similar with most of them, it's their personality, intelligence and interests in life which make them different, and finding those out through a translator is a big challenge even if not impossible.

I guess that because I'll be in China on and off anyway, I'm counting a lot on face to face to learn about this girl, meeting her doesn't mean getting married but we can verify chemistry (I love that term, English is such a rational language) and maybe start dating after that meeting if we both like each other. I would also take a more difficult approach to work towards marriage, I would get her over here on a tourist visa so she can see for herself how life is here, how life is with me, at least for a few weeks before any decisions are made. The visa is tought to get but gettable, certainly if you know some people and I think I do.

[Scottish_Rob]

The sentence that sticks in my mind from her was " We are both on this website looking for marriage..."

At least that's a good starting point...