I have had a lengthy and very fine series of EMF's with a Lady in my own age group. I was so impressed with the quantity and quality of her words and letters. For one brief moment I thought that at last I had hit the jackpot !!!!!
But.....and there is always a But....she was the Senior Plastic Surgeon at a Chinese Hospital. She specialises in severe burn cases and does so much good work putting terribly deformed people into better shape so they can live a more normal quality of life...she does not do boob jobs or cosmetic surgery for glamour purposes. Within one or two years she could expect to be promoted to control the Plastic Surgery efforts of 5 Hospitals !!
Thus she provides a vital and important service within her local community. She goes to different training and knowlege sharing courses all over the World.
If, repeat if she were to come to Aus as my wife, she would be forced to repeat ALL her Medical training...8 years .....as well as learn fluent English (including complex medical terms) before she could commence her re-training.
She says that she would be prepared to give up her career and become a simple housewife for the right Man.
David
If my relationship with my good woman works out, that's exactly the situation I am in. She is the head of a paediatrics unit at a hospital down here in Zhuhai.
I have given the matter a considerable amount of thought.
When I have thought about the relationship not working out, the thought of avoiding the ethical issues regarding having her leave China and living here in Australia has provided me with a considerable amount of consolation.
I too worry that what brings me personal pleasure, will come at a cost to the many people who benefit from her work.
I worry too that she will feel lost in Australia. Here in China she is really somebody: confident, successful, loved, admired and as far as I can tell having a good life.
What I offer seems so inadequate by comparison.
However it is worth keeping in mind that she is a woman - she has worked for twenty years here and she is entitled to family and marital happiness as much as anyone else does.
She does exactly what she wants. She is tough minded when she needs to be. If she has work to attend to, then there is no question about what comes first. If she decides that living here with me in Australia is what she wishes to do, then that's what she will do.
I would be very happy if that is what she decides to do.
However if it was up to me to decide for us both, then I think it would be better for her to stay where she is, and for me to eventually move to China.
It is sort of embarrassing revealing that I have thought this far ahead in the relationship. She might decide this week that we have no future, but whatever happens, this is what I think would have been the best solution to the matter.
I have been thinking that maybe if it works out, maybe I could move over there as soon as it is possible for me to retire (in 11 years, at 55). If I worked hard at it, I could learn Mandarin reasonably well in that period of time. At the same time I could work towards obtaining skills and experience in my work that would be useful here in China. I might not earn as much as I do here, but that's not everything.
In the interim, I would visit her as much as I can, using up my long service leave and rec leave. It would be the hard road to a relationship, but I think sometimes it is worthwhile following your star.
I am someone who can easily fill my free time up. I love reading history and literature, practicing the piano, studying Chinese, working out at the gym, my work as a manager in the public service. I have good friends and a wonderful family.
Waiting such a long time would be hard, but I think if you can do it for a year, you can do it for ten. I've managed it for a year and I think I could continue on like this indefinitely. I have no doubt about her. She is not a perfect woman, of course, but if I have learned anything about her, I have learned that she is faithful and true.
If you have any thoughts on the matter, if you work it out, it would be really good to hear them.
Take care
Danny
