Author Topic: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai  (Read 23290 times)

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Scottish_Rob

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #30 on: September 23, 2009, 11:38:12 am »
The way i see it Vince she doesn't want Danny to talk with her through Chnlove...

Maybe there is a 'Straw' here for Danny to 'Clutch'...could it be mate that she 'wants' other contact through other means??  Without the 'cost' to you, which would also be 'the cost of her getting married to you'???

Offline Darius

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #31 on: September 23, 2009, 05:19:58 pm »
Danny...It is really not that easy to find the right words. But you know better than anyone else it wouldnt be easy to find our piece of dream. Some sooner some later but i am sure all of us will find it one day or other so long as we hang on to it. Sorry to hear that my friend. But dont let it get you down! Best of luck with your trip to Wuhan!

Offline MLM

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #32 on: September 23, 2009, 08:32:34 pm »
Danny, don't let this get you down, before I joined Chnlove I had been looking for two years for my mate, thought I found her once on Chnlove but we are friends now, while I was in ChinaI had met some one there but that didn't work out also, when I arrived home I met my Zhou here and you know the rest.
don't give up mate, you never know when or where you will meet her, just know she is out there waiting for you to find her.
Good luck and best wishes Dan.
Mike
TIME IS THE TELLER OF ALL TRUTHS AND THE HEALER OF ALL HURTS

Offline Sylvain D

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #33 on: September 24, 2009, 03:51:10 am »
I would say a bit as MLM says, in fact. My situation actually is a bit "special", as I actually see one lady on 3 in Shanghai, and that I still didn't meet Lyian in Guangzhou. But there's something with Dora in Shanghai, and I need to know where it can go... So I need to see her again. if things would not be good with Lyian, so, I'd know what to do. but if things would be good, so, I'd have to know what to do, also...
Danny, know that I can (as many other brothers) understand your story, and how it ended.
I just wish you to find your righteous lady, even if that time wasn't arrived, there still are lot of other times to find the Righteous one for you ;)

About "not through CHNLOVE anymore", well, I would say that she doesn't want to talk to you via this service anymore, but maybe she is ok if you know how to contact her in any other way (mail adress)
Maybe is she "decieved" because of CHNLOVE, too, but I can not be sure of it.
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Offline Irishman

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #34 on: September 24, 2009, 05:12:04 am »
Danny, good to hear that you are keeping the head up.
I have to be honest here, and I'm speaking from personal experience with my Ling 1, don't write to her after you get back home, it will just prolong the pain and keep the faint hope alive. With Ling 1 all it took was a hug emoticon in msn or a "your a nice man" to get the old feelings roaring back again and it was just foolish and unfair to Ling 2 as it brought doubts to my mind.

I think you need to move on with your life and just chalk this down to experience. While you keep in contact with her the feelings will never be allowed to fade away like they should and you'll find it hard to get romantically involved with another lady.
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

Offline Danny

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #35 on: September 26, 2009, 01:19:17 am »
Thanks for all the good advice.

I arrived in Wuhan a couple of days ago. What a couple of days it's been.

Before I tell my story I need to make it clear that YaYa and I are good friends. We have been writing on a daily basis for about nine months. It was always just friendly chatter, and to me, nothing more than that. So I know her very well. The first time I knew for sure that it meant a lot more to her was when I told her I was going to visit my friend in Zhuhai. So I know her very well already. She is 33 years of age, divorced with no kids, she's completing a Masters degree in Linguistics next month and speaks pretty good English.

When I arrived YaYa was at the airport waiting for me. I had told her that my plane was running late, but she said that she would come anyway, because it was a pleasure to wait for me. We arrived and I saw her there. It was lovely to see her. She had cold drinks for us and then she took us to central Wuhan.

When we arrived she had already booked the hotel room and her mother and father was there to greet me. As soon as we arrived they arranged for the restaurant to send food up to our room. So much food! *laughs*

Then YaYa and her friend, me and my daughter went for a walk together looking out at the shops. Then we went out for coffee and played cards and laughed till late in the night.

The next day she picked us up from the hotel room. She took us all around the sights in Wuhan, the crane tower and a buddhist temple.

Then we came back to a restaurant and had a wonderful meal with her whole family. It was such a lovely time. They bought a birthday cake for me and it was just a such a good time.

After that we went back to her parent's house. We felt so welcome. They are just so incredibly welcoming, warm and friendly. We learned how to play Mahjong and some other card games.  

It was lovely to spend time with YaYa. She is such a gentle, kind and soft hearted person.

We were so spoiled over there. We did not spend one cent for the whole time we were there. Even though they are so poor, they paid for the hotel room, the taxis, the restaurant, the visits to the tourist sites. No matter how much I argued they would not accept my offer for anything.  

I cannot honestly say I have fallen in love with her. But the fact of the matter is that she is just perfect. She is such a good and gentle person. She is sweet and kind and thoughtful. So soft spoken. She works hard and wants to be a primary school teacher. She looks lovely. I am pretty sure she would be ready to move to Australia. I cannot imagine that I would find a better wife. I suppose I could keep looking, but I can't imagine that I would find anyone that would ever be a better wife for me. It is stupid to always want to be with someone who is always out of reach, who is has so many reasons why it isn't going to happen. I should be with someone who wants to be with me, who wants to make me happy too.

I am a little worried the way I am doing this. Sometimes people fall head over heels in love and then think about the suitability of the object of their affection afterwards. In my case I think that I have found someone that loves me dearly, who would be wonderful to live my life with. I think the feelings will follow, as I start to spend time with her and get to know her more as something more than just a friend.

My daughter just loves her and her family. She had such a lovely time visiting and they made such a fuss of her.

I am planning to return to Wuhan in mid December.  

I had a long, long, and very embarrassing talk with her father and mother about what my intentions were in relation to their daughter. I explained what I had in mind and I think what I said satisfied them. They both told me that YaYa is a good and kind person and that if we were to marry, they would support the match.

I think sometimes opportunities come your way and you have to take them when they're there. Life is short. There is still a long way ahead of us. So I don't think I am am rushing things. After I visit in December it is only fair that I decide then whether to proceed with this, or walk away. I think this is the right thing, but I will take one day at a time.  

Danny

Offline Rhonald

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #36 on: September 26, 2009, 03:15:22 am »
Great read Danny and great patience. Good luck with the rest of the trip. It is always comforting when your children  also enjoy the shared adventure.
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Offline victor-hills

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #37 on: September 26, 2009, 03:32:14 am »
Now thats more like it danny someone who shows she cares for you,danny dont forget just some times things you want is stairing you right in your face,i wish you all the best mate oh yeah mum and dad and your daughter are happy about things got to be good bud.
Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Offline Willy The Londoner

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #38 on: September 26, 2009, 04:25:19 am »
Hey Danny

I told you things may work out and there was you planning to waste previous time wandering around Zhuhai then go home!   I am really pleased for you.  You are a great guy and I forgive you for not taking me to the coffee shop but probably Yaya  is a littler better looking than me.  

In a few days you have met someone special, her parents approve and you will be hot footing it back here in a couple of months!!! Wow what a weekend.   Maybe I will get to Wuhan - where ever that may be to say hello.  

All the best and keep the Tsingtao flowing.

Willy
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Now in my 12th year living here,

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #39 on: September 26, 2009, 05:17:05 am »
Hey Danny its seems that it is time to stop thinking like a state employee and go with your heart , that small but totally inclusive posting tells all .
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
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Offline Irishman

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #40 on: September 26, 2009, 06:05:27 am »
Quote from: 'victor-hills' pid='18098' dateline='1253950334'

Now thats more like it danny someone who shows she cares for you,danny dont forget just some times things you want is stairing you right in your face,i wish you all the best mate oh yeah mum and dad and your daughter are happy about things got to be good bud.


Well said Victor, thats  it - nail on head, Danny she sounds exactly what we are all looking for to be honest. I strongly believe that the longest most successful relationships are based on a great friendship first and foremost.
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

Offline MLM

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #41 on: September 26, 2009, 07:01:47 am »
Danny,
What can I say that the others have not said.......... I don'tknow either :icon_biggrin:, but I will say this, you may still be thinking you need to think this through before you fall in love with Ya Ya, but guess what my friend, it sounds like your heart has already done this, do yourself a favor, stop thinking so much and follow your heart, or do you need to be smacked with what is stairing you in the face ( like Victor says ).
Man look at what is happening here, don't you think she has waited long enough, been put through enough waiting for you to see other women, don't you think you should at least let her know what is going on inside your head about her, like I said, your heart already knows, I'm not saying tell her you love her, all I'm saying is let her know you have feelings for her and you would like to see where this will go, give this woman some hope and if you would just let yourself go I'm sure you may find you do love her.
As some others here have said, you never know where you'll find love, but most times its under your nose,
Good luck danny and best wishes.
TIME IS THE TELLER OF ALL TRUTHS AND THE HEALER OF ALL HURTS

Offline Voiceroveip

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #42 on: September 26, 2009, 07:03:27 am »
Hi Danny! Love at first sight is not that important, although I would recommend you search your feelings and see if she can light a spark in your heart or not, and that will take some time. In any case, judging by the way her family welcomed and took care of you and your daughter, she thinks very highly of you.

The worst relationships I had were the one's where I fell in love really fast, I tend to miss the point and only discover things later, and the consequences usually hurt. At the same time, don't marry her because you think there is a good fit and it's convenient, she might be the best wife in the world, if you don't love her, things will go sour later on.

Good luck, and make sure your antennaes are set to receive any signals that your heart might be broadcasting!
Go deep or don't go

Offline Brian Mc

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #43 on: September 26, 2009, 10:30:43 am »
Greetings Brothers,

Danny,  Let me see if I have this straight.  You have been writing to Ya Ya for about nine months and have buiilt up a great friendship.  She met you at the airport, took you to dinner with her family, you have been to their house and played games with them.  Both her parents say they would approve of a marriage and your daughter thinks she is great.

You say that she is just perfect, she is loving, caring and everything you could possibly want in a wife.  Your daughter loves her and everyhting so far has been perfect for you together.

I think MLM has hit it right smack on the head.  The only thing that doesnt seem to think you are in love is your head.  Your heart already knows, but your head is being practical and looking for proof.  Well to some of us the romantic types like me you already know what you need to know.  I am not saying to just blurt out a propsal, although you may be pleasantly surprised if you did, but what I am saying is if you think she loves you and that maybe you have feelings beyond friendship for her tell her how you feel what you think and what you would like to happen.  See what she thinks feels and would like to happen and go from there.

If you both are in agreement or at least heading in the same direction, then perhaps your search is finally over and you have found the woman for the rest of your life.  You will never know until you both discuss it. Dont wait until you return in December, find out now.  Then once you both acknowledge the connection and the feelings you will see that they blossom really quickly and then in December who knows?

The greatest gift of your life could be sitting in front of you with those beautiful expressive loving almond eyes.  Find out where you stand and you may just join the happiest guy in the world club!  Its worth the chance to find out how she feels and if you tell her first she will be more open to revealing her true thoughts and wishes.  Take a leap of faith and find out.

Best wishes and hopes that things work out great!!

Zhen and Brian

Scottish_Rob

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RE: Danny's second trip to Zhuhai
« Reply #44 on: September 26, 2009, 10:39:47 am »
Well said Brian, seconded...:icon_biggrin: