Danny's second trip to Zhuhai

[Vince G]

But the fact of the matter is that she is just perfect. She is such a good and gentle person. She is sweet and kind and thoughtful. So soft spoken. She works hard and wants to be a primary school teacher. She looks lovely. I am pretty sure she would be ready to move to Australia. I cannot imagine that I would find a better wife. I suppose I could keep looking, but I can't imagine that I would find anyone that would ever be a better wife for me. It is stupid to always want to be with someone who is always out of reach, who is has so many reasons why it isn't going to happen. I should be with someone who wants to be with me, who wants to make me happy too.

My daughter just loves her and her family. She had such a lovely time visiting and they made such a fuss of her.

The guys already posted good advice. But I have to add....

Well... D'UH!?  What do we have to do to get you to think right? Hit you in the head with a baseball bat?

A diamond is placed in front of you and your looking around it for the piece of glass? If you open your eyes you'll realize there is everything there you want. No hassles, No BS and the family approves already.

[David5o]

Good advise  from All!!
we often can't see what we want, when it's staring us in the face , because our stupid eyes are looking through it, trying to see something else that not real. Same thing with thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the wall, ...only to find it's the same grass but now with bald patches.....

Danny, go with this opportunity, Run with it, i have a strong feeling your not going to regret it. I'm pretty sure that you know that already yourself. Don't analyse it, Here is a real live woman that's standing in front of you, telling you that she wants nothing else but to be with You!! .....It just needs this man to say '' I want You too''

Go for this, with both your eyes wide open and your arms wide open. What you catch in those arms, your eyes will see and tell you, that you have a keeper....

David.....

[maxx]

Danny you know it is time for the tough love speach.What the hell are you doing.Yaya  has shown you great face.Her parents have shouwn you great face.I can't see what the holdup is here.Does she have 2 heads? or a husband?This women has wated for you for 9 months.Thats worth giving it a try if nothen else moves your febble mind.She was waiting for you with just a hope maybe you would come maybe you wouldn't.Damm dude It doesn't get any clearer then this

Like all the other members are telling you.You need to run with this one and hold on real tight.This is what we are all here looking for.And it drops right in your lap.How much better does it have to be for you.

Irishman is right about the woman doctor.The one you have ben writing to in Zhuhai.Drop her like she has leporsy.Its all ben said and done.And the only thing you are doing is giving yourself more grief.You came you saw twice and it didn't work.Time to move on.

Oh and where the hell are the pictures of the new women we are waiting.

[MLM]

I just want to see photos of Ya Ya, or am I asking to much for now?Oh and say Danny, whats going on, are you still visiting with Ya Ya or what?...............I'm dieing to know, its killing me not knowing.
Zhou says " you not stay at Ya Ya's, you fool ", sorry Danny but these women can be a little blunt at times.

[David E]

G'day cobber :icon_cheesygrin:

It seems very clear to us that Ya Ya would love to be much more than your friend...that goes for her family too !!!

But take a bit of time, dont jump in to a committment just to keep her happy...it's gotta be right for you too.

having said that, give her, and you some time now, and maybe it will all click into place.

If the chemistry does not work for you........be careful !

If the chemisry does work...then your search may be over :icon_cheesygrin:

DavidE

[Voiceroveip]

Danny,

sorry I didn't read the full part of your story before posting my previous comment ... if you're anything like me then you're probably facing a hard nut to crack. The disappointment you've just had will probably make it hard for your feelings to show, you're still tuned to the other woman and that will take time to fade. I don't know what your calendar looks like or what your financial possibilities are, but I would tell Ya Ya the truth about what happened, and why you're not able to make a commitment just yet. Maybe planning a trip in a couple of months to see if there is chemistry between the two of you would be a better idea.

Aside from that, it seems that we often think that we can continue an EMF relationship "as friends" because we appreciate the content of the exchanges with Chinese women that have not sparked feelings in our heart. I'm in a similar situation right now, exchanging long emails with someone and it never got romantic. Yet when I told her I was coming she threw her entire schedule in the air to welcome me, take me around to visit any city that I would like, while making sure that we would not sleep in the same room, at least not initially ... she's a business translator so communicating with her is easy. There was not a single line of romance in our exchanges, but she is after a husband and not some cultural exchanges, I realize that very clearly now, before I thought she was just a little attracted by me and enjoyed talking with me, nothing more. So I feel like I deceived her, I should have stopped writing sooner, and now have to find the least painful way for her, because there is simply no attraction on my side.

I think there should be a list of commandments on this site somewhere, one of them being just that: If you won't marry her, stop writing to her as soon as you know that.

All the best in any case, and maybe Ya Ya can heal you a little and help you find your true self again.

[Sylvain D]

Well, well, well.
I forgot to refresh your story, Danny, but I have to agree with other Brothers.
I see in Ya Ya someone very nice with you, just be sure about it : I know nobody in my own life who would had come to the airport, waiting for me with fresh drinks, booked any hotel and having her father and mother waiting for you, too.
It seems anyway that she knew what she was doing. She know what she wants, it's you...
Just tell me how it feels to be like a sheep, waited by a wolve? (kidding ^^)
I think you can easily understand my sentence. You says she looks lovely, you give so many information about her way to be with you and about her family that, for sure, I don't know what kind of problems you would meet with her.
But... let's talk about the chemistry.
Do you think she's really beautiful for you? Wouldn't you know some more about her and her family if you had any opportunity?

Ya Ya seems anyway to be a woman with sensitive feelings and is a very nice woman. Believe me, all the things you say about her are only POSITIVE, so, what's wrong? Would you fear to hurt her if you would fall in love with her? Do you think she might could be as a toy and that you don't want to "play" with it carefully?
Please understand that "play" is not the righteous word, for sure, you need to know what you want about her.
We're here to help you and to give you any comments but it's based on what you jus give us as informations...
I'd say finally, that, whatever happens, it's your choice that you have in your hands and in your heart, not ours. Man can not decide for you, for sure.
One other thing : 9 months, it's very long, one year... well, I think Ya Ya did her best (or maybe didn't she in fact?) to show you how important you are for her.
So now...
It's up to you, Brother

[shaun]

So, we all agree Ya Ya is the right one for Danny.  Well, Danny my boy, it over... just ask her and let us know when the wedding will happen.  Now, Danny, we've all agreed and you do not have any say in this so suck it up and get to courting.  :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

Truthfully Danny, Maxx said it best.  Ya Ya was dropped into your lap and it is the kind of thing we all are looking for so, you really ought to run with this and put the past in the past and move on.  Remember it really doesn't matter what we say but open up your heart and let her shine into your heart.  I think you will completely change and will fall madly in love with her.  If not; give me her phone number and address and I will check her out... :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

Good luck,

Shaun

[Willy The Londoner]

And don't ask why Danny, just take this opportunity in both hands.

Unlike the photoshop girls you are better looking in real life than your photo on here!

Do not let anyone take this the wrong way but when he is dreassed up and asks me for advice on the finishing touches then he is a real cool dude!!!  (Mind you he may have been half pissed at the time.)

Willy

[Scottish_Rob]

Oh no, willy is changing, he is now looking at the male gender...hahaha:angel:

"...Unlike the photoshop girls you are better looking in real life than your photo on here!...":blush::blush:

ROFLMAO:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

[Danny]

Well I am back home again and doesn’t it feel fine!

The first thing I did when I got home was make a strong coffee and ate a moon cake (I received an enormous red box of them from YaYa’s dad as a present).

I rang YaYa and had a chat on the telephone just now and everything’s going fine. I also got some texts and an email from her today:

Really fit our Chinese old saying: seeing is believing. That's fantastic we are really seeing each other ahead schedule. I am so happy to see you, especially Emma, she should indeed more like her dear mother, very lovely, graceful, kind, never fails to please. I envy Emma loves you so much, she will soon help you or say a few words or gently stroke your shoulder to comfort you, when you are weak, such as we were in coffee bar playing cards at the first night.  And the last day we you in front of the computer I found Emma was holding you and laughing. I never do like that with my father. hehehe, really something need us to learn from each other. These days our topic never leaving you and Emma, even downstairs people asked my parents: "Wow, even have foreigners in your family" my mother told them you are our relatives. Hehehe.

It is lovely to have all you people to talk this over with. I am very humbled by it all. I have good friends here at home, but the people I wished to talk it over with the people here, at this forum.

I am terribly nervous about my relationship with YaYa. YaYa has had a very difficult life. The man she married was a worthless individual. In the words of her parents, he is someone who is worse than a beggar. He threw her out of their home with almost nothing and she now lives with her parents.

When she had a child about ten years ago she almost died. It took her almost a year to receover this illness and during the recovery time she apprently signed away custody to her husband’s family. I don’t know what’s involved with this, but the matter seems to be beyond recall and it is now something she accepts cannot be changed, no matter what she wishes. It is something terribly sad for her as a mother

I would feel dreadful if I brought further unhappiness into her life. Of course I would not just marry her to try to help her out. But if my relationship with her brings us both happiness, then it seems to me to be something which is in accordance with the will of heaven.

When we went to the local Buddhist temple and I watched her pray. I did not need to ask what this was all about – I knew what she was praying about. I found it very moving.

I have no doubt the feelings of love and desire for YaYa will grow with time. When I rang and spoke to her just now, I felt all tingly and warm afterwards – I just think it’s a matter of time before I feel true love for her. I think the right feelings follow on from right action. I am sure if I continue to get to know her, things will develop naturally and love will grow.

I am still sort of numb from my second and final visit to Zhuhai. I think a clean break from this person will help – a lot. I have not heard from her since I left Zhuhai and that’s really good. I wish her all the best for the future, but it is best for all concerned for our relationship is over. To have anything at all to do with her now would be just ruinous. I have longed for her for a year and it has come to nothing. I asked her to marry me and she said no. There was plenty of opportunity for something to happen, but the fact of the matter it didn’t and now it is time to move on.  

I am a little embarrassed to be starting something so serious so soon after what happened in Zhuhai. But the fact of the matter is that YaYa and her family pretty much know what happened. I sure got some close questioning about this matter while I was in Wuhan *laughs*

Her parents care for her so much. They are getting on in age and they want more than anything for her to be happy and loved and cared for. It is quite a responsibility, if it works out, knowing their hopes for her, and making sure it happens. As a father myself, I know what it is to hope for happy days ahead for your children.

If I have anything further to do with my Zhuhai woman I would be acting absolutely shamelessly. I just need to be careful about screwing up a relationship with someone who really cares about me, by messing around with someone who doesn’t care about me much at all.

I would be glad to post some photos in the next few days, when I get unpacked and organised.

Thank you for all the encouragement.

Danny

[maxx]

Danny wake up Bro.If you are feeling all tingly and warm after you talk to Yaya on the phone,It says to me that you are well on your way.There is alot of time between now and your next trip.I think you should use that time to build the relationship with Yaya.


Don't be over thinking this.There is a women in China.Who thanks alot about you.I think I would go with Yaya you have met her.You liked what you seen.This is what it is all about.

[Voiceroveip]

Hi Danny,

It's definitely best to cut all ties to Zhuhai, you'll heal faster, you might even sort of be over it in a couple of weeks. Talk to Ya Ya and feel tingly and warm ^_^ that's a good sign! She sounds like a great catch from what you describe, and having a nice and supportive family is a big bonus, you'll just need a good phone subsciption for the calls to China I mean for her when she moves over.

And concerning Ya Ya's comments about you and your daughter, it is not common at all that parents hug or kiss their children, even when they love each other they seem quite distant to us Westerners. My ex girlfriend gave her parents one single quick hug while we visited them, she hadn't seen them for over a year and adores them ...

Well pop those pictures on here so we can party ^_^ Welcome back home and loose the Zhuhai email adresses and everything else.

All the best!

[Vince G]

Danny, you laid down a line with YaYa that you didn't want to cross when pursuing the other. But now you have to step over that line to put it on the other side of you. Take your time and don't force it because you think you have to. It will all happen naturally as it should.

When my lady and I were writing after about six months, I came to realize... Crap, I'm in love with her? Funny thing was she did the same exact thing at the same time. She said it in a letter with the same surprise. It has grown stronger since. So don't think you have to. Let it grow by itself.

[Chong]

Danny wrote ...

I am a little embarrassed to be starting something so serious so soon after what happened in Zhuhai. But the fact of the matter is that YaYa and her family pretty much know what happened.

Actually, you have a 'Best Friend' relationship with YaYa for 9 months now ... probably with lots of 'serious' substance in your letters. For her to stick by you till you figure out your love life is commendable.

Reminds me of those movies where the 'homely natural' lady waits patiently until her man finally figures out that he doesn't want the unattainable 'movie star' lady afterall. He finally realized that his female best friend back home is the one for him.