Time for another update. I don't know why I do these as sometimes the responses drive me nuts for a while. But we brothers must address the tough issues head on if we are to grow our collective knowledge. I am looking for a wife, so tough questions must be asked of our relationship.
Well there's still not much happening, although my postcards did make it back alive (after 25 days) and my lady's birthday card arrived in time for her birthday :icon_cheesygrin:.
It's almost a month since I met my lady in person. I have had a lot of time to think about things now.
I have thought about the issues we face. The money/spending issues we should be able to resolve, although I am reasonably sure she isn't a scammer. Finding out how little she earnt was a revelation to me, as I did not think that the cost of living in China was that low. I kind of thought she would be on 4-5x as much as she really earns. I know their taxes and rents are lower but based on the prices of watermelons and stuff I now appreciate that her life is tough. We will talk more about money so she can appreciate what we would and would not be able to afford in the UK.
The lack of hand holding and other things in the physical side of the relationship - well I think we need more time. Does she really love me? Well I'm not sure about this. She is very affectionate on QQ (much moreso than some of the other brothers' ladies), but I didn't see it so much in real life. Maybe I should have taken more of a lead. But then I would have run the risk of moving too quickly. Maybe it is just her upbringing. Her parents are very traditional, and I guess they might not necessarily have married for love. I will ask my lady about them (carefully!).
I do still love my lady. I am convinced of this. I have been photoshopping our holiday pictures this week in readiness for printing. It makes me happy to think of the great times we had together. I have had a look at the other lady profiles on chnlove, but I am not really interested in anyone else. Maybe I am obsessing over her too much, who knows?
We've only talked on QQ once this week and she doesn't often answer my text messages. This is bad. I know she is busy and the time difference is a killer, but we do need to talk more often than this, or the relationship will fizzle out. She is busy to the point of making herself ill. I guess if it helps I could ask her to reduce her working hours. I do own my own business, so I am racking my brains for something for her to do instead of her slave job. Obviously I could ask her to give up her job and make up the difference, but that is a big call at this stage in the relationship.
Has anyone experienced something similar? I guess I will have to ask my lady to reorder her priorities. Maybe her parents or friends could help her out. It will be tough, but if she is serious about finding a foreign husband, then she is going to have to find time to do passport applications, complex visa applications, learn English and plan our wedding. Again, this is tough, but at the end of the day there are now 8000+ ladies on chnlove so I will have no trouble finding someone who is totally committed to this, especially now that I have been to China and can demonstrate that I am no timewaster.
In other news I've also started my Mandarin class. My teacher is excellent. It is tough going and I wish I had waited until my lady was here. I am finding it hard to concentrate while I am worrying about my lady. I am starting to appreciate how tough it is to be a language teacher, especially when you have idiots like me in the class. I find it hard to understand spoken Chinese. I am however making good progress with learning hanzi characters and something has changed in my brain that allows me to visualise their forms - once I learn a character it now stays learned.
Aside from my lady, I do have fond memories of China. I have bought a Chinese teapot and I am starting to make excellent quality green tea with the stockpile of green tea I brought back with me. I have started to learn Sichuan cooking. I've had fun relaying my findings to the stock trading forums I post on. Hopefully I can make a return visit to China next year. I would also like to visit other provinces - culturally Hubei Province was totally unlike Hong Kong so I would like to see if that was a Cantonese/Sichuan or a China/Hong Kong difference.
