Author Topic: sticky like candy  (Read 11154 times)

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Offline Danny

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #30 on: November 02, 2009, 04:22:25 am »
Quote from: 'Willy The Londoner' pid='20873' dateline='1256348790'

I know the translators get a big bonus if they can persuade her to pay up in advance for a marriage that may well never happen.  




I know I have mentioned this before, Willy, but one of the things that made me laugh, and reminded me I was in China and not back in Australia, was that when I was dumped, both my Zhuhai woman (not the dear woman from Wuhan I am with at the moment) and the translator offered to set me up with someone else. It's real strange to me. I was with this woman for a year. I visited her twice. It was serious between us - we had begun to make plans for the future. I spoke and wrote to her almost every day for a year. She meant a lot to me. Then on the night she told me she wasn't prepared to come to Australia to come and live with me she offers to find me a replacement. It's so different to the way things are conducted back here in Australia. In some ways it is very practical and helpful . . . but in some ways, it's cold, it's cold as ice. Maybe I misunderstand it, but it's real strange to me. It's only a small thing, so it is not as though I am blowing this out of proportion or anything, but it's one of those small little things you take away with you, and you mull over, when you're back home again, and you wonder to yourself, I wonder what was going on in her mind . . . *laughs*
« Last Edit: November 02, 2009, 05:03:17 am by Danny »

Offline Philip

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #31 on: November 02, 2009, 12:28:45 pm »
OK, Day 3 was the worst day, but it didn't start that way.
My back was aching from all that bus and train travel and from lugging my bags around. I said to my lady that I needed a massage. We moved hotels, and she enquired about a massage for me. She accompanied me to the massage, and sat reading a paper. She may have just wanted to keep me company or she may have wanted to check that it wasn't that other kind of massage. As it was, she watched while I let a woman literally walk all over me. It is something else when a woman walks on your back, then at various points stands on tiptoe like a ballerina and digs her toes into your back. Then, suitably refreshed, we returned to our room and shared some electronic translator conversation, speaking the words as we inputted them and getting the other to pronounce them. She revealed a rather lovely singing voice and an ability to whistle and I sang songs back to her. I read back some of her EMF letters to me and at one point I cried at hearing myself say her words out loud. I gave her all the money I had brought, remembering the brothers' advice about it being a good idea.
Later we went shopping for food for next day for our trip to the Nan Yue mountains.
Back at the hotel, it all went pear-shaped. I made a sexual faux-pas. At the time, it seemed to be enjoyable for her, but I very quickly realised that she was offended and upset. She sent me to Coventry and lay on the floor with her back to me. I felt really bad, and thought I was in danger of losing her. I felt stupid and upset. I cried for the second time that day, and we had a restless night of miscommunication and fumbling translator messages. She returned the money to me, saying that I resented having given the responsibility to her, and I ended up feeling very sorry for myself. Needless to say, it was the low point of my trip, but, luckily, it was all uphill from there.
More instalments to follow.

Offline Danny

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #32 on: November 02, 2009, 04:34:50 pm »
Quote from: 'Philip' pid='21707' dateline='1257182925'

Back at the hotel, it all went pear-shaped . . . Needless to say, it was the low point of my trip, but, luckily, it was all uphill from there.
More instalments to follow.



Philip

I am loving your story too.

The funny thing about life is that a lot of the important things that happen are quite unexpected. Like this one. It's not like you'd woken up and decided you were going to make it a little better and then much worse and then over the subsequent days some kind of recovery.

Often I think I can work things out, and if I work them out well enough, I can remove all the unpleasant bits from my life.

It's taken a long time, but I've finally worked out that stuff is still going to happen, regardless.

Well, keep going with your story, it's a wonderful one.

Danny

Offline Brian Mc

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #33 on: November 02, 2009, 08:23:33 pm »
Greetings Brothers,

Great story Philip, keep it coming, oh and what about the pics you promised?  Gotta have those pics.

Regards,

Zhen and Brian

shaun

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #34 on: November 02, 2009, 08:54:57 pm »
Good story Phillip.  I am looking forward to the next installment.

Shaun

rockycoon

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #35 on: November 02, 2009, 09:56:11 pm »
Phillip, welcome to this bunch of misfits, that was a great post, and I think what she means is that your not going anywhere without her, and the family.  Sounds like you have developed a family in China bro.  Best of luck to you, keep in touch with us....

Offline Philip

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #36 on: November 03, 2009, 02:00:19 pm »
Hi, time for my next instalment.

Day 4. This was a surreal day. Me and my lady made up after my previous night’s indiscretion. I felt like a man with his head in the guillotine being reprieved at the last minute. My relief at her forgiveness for my previous f***-up was palpable. God bless her for not throwing me out on my ear. She accepted the responsibility for the money again.
We took a taxi from Hengyang to Nan Yue mountain. Again, we were on our way north. As in every bus, train and taxi we took, my lady rested her head on my shoulders or fell asleep in my arms. The taxi driver was very chatty.
When we arrived at Nan Yue town, we stopped off at a strange shop. The walls were lined with hundreds of bright red cylinders on sticks, looking like fireworks. My lady asked for about 40 red boxes containing wood shavings, which she proceeded to write my and her names on. Then the shop assistant started to make bundles with the boxes, with each box she wrapped three cylinders, some yellow tissue, a few sticks of firewood, and separate from these she collected some big rolls of firecrackers, some large red cylinders containing I knew not what and some large green cylinders on sticks with our names written on them. At this point, I started to think of Maxx’s other golden rule, Different Country, Different Customs. This sure was different. Then she totted up the damage on her calculator. It came to a few yuan short of 4000. OK. Brothers, what would you have done at this point? This was supposed to be some sort of offering. I was not sure whether this was just a bunch of Buddhist tut. I had not been aware that my lady was at all religious or superstitious. But, she seemed happy. And I was not about to take the money back from her, having made such a fuss about it the previous day. So, I mosied on down to the nearby Bank of China cashpoint, withdrew the spondoolicks and handed them over.
Then we took a taxi into town to a rather tacky-looking temple, passing on the way about a 100 similar-looking stores. At the temple, we took about a third of the packages, bowed three times holding a green cylinder, and threw the packages into the furnaces, including some firecrackers for the sound effects. Then we entered the temple to be further fleeced by a monk insisting we needed a lotus candle, a beaded bracelet and reading my lady’s palm (It turned out he could read that she was due to meet a rich man soon – Hmmm). On the way to the next, much more impressive temple, my thoughts took on a philosophical bent – would it have been any different just to take the 4000 yuan and put that straight into the furnace? Is it strange to have a town full of shops whose produce ends up as ashes minutes after purchase? Is there some deeper message in all this related to the transience of material wealth? Before I had the chance to answer the questions, we were throwing the next third of the packages into a bigger furnace.
Next we went to the foot of the Zhurong peak mountain, at 2900 metres, one of the five great mountains in China. We took a bus about two-thirds of the way up the mountain. Then we walked 3.5 km of steep steps to the top, on a sweltering hot day, carrying some heavy bags, and avoiding the temptations of the motorbikes, the sedan chairs and the taxis, which promised to make the climb easier. My lady tried to carry all of the bags, but I was not wimping out. I like a challenge. Reaching the top was quite exhilarating. We disposed of the rest of the packages at the temple at the top, and sat down to have our packed lunch including yoghurt, some rubbery part of an animal (I didn’t ask) and some Red Bull.
What did it all mean? F*** knows. But I like mountains. And I like my lady, so that’s all that really mattered.
We walked down hand in hand. There is something very special about holding my lady’s hand – it is like a constant means of sensory communication. I couldn’t get enough of it. And I missed it for the few minutes I didn’t have it.
We hitched a ride in a van back to her home city, Changsha, held up by what seemed like a fatal accident on the way (there were women wailing in the street)
We booked into a hotel, with the fun name of the Yippee, which was kind of how I felt. That night, we had the most gentle, most sensuous, most profoundly satisfying time and I stopped thinking about any scepticism or doubts or stupid ideas about those funny shops.

p.s. here is a photo of us on the train on that second day, when she turned up wearing the dress I got her
« Last Edit: November 03, 2009, 02:02:32 pm by Philip »

Scottish_Rob

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #37 on: November 03, 2009, 02:12:04 pm »
Great story Phillip all the best to the pair of you:icon_biggrin:

Offline Chong

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #38 on: November 03, 2009, 05:14:14 pm »
I hold the money. I pay for everything. If something seems too expensive, I'll suggest that my lady find something less expensive or we won't buy it. It has only happened once as my lady is careful with money and is not a spendthrift. When we shop at the market for groceries, then I hand over the entire money to her because there are so many vendors that she deals with. That 4000 yuan expenditure was way overboard. When my lady and I went to the praying temple in Kaiping, it just cost 50 yuan for the red incense sticks + a donation of 30 yuan for the priests to help publish their books.

HOWEVER, your night ended up on an enjoyable & positive note ... so good for you two. I would ask next time how much she needs for the venture ... 4,000 yuan / $ 635 Cdn is a lot of money ... practically a month's salary ... just to make offerings.

If this is her custom to start a new relationship, then I guess you had no choice.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2009, 05:15:56 pm by Chong »

Offline Neil

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #39 on: November 03, 2009, 06:46:02 pm »
We toured a cave in Guilin and at the end there was a temple.  We all knelt on mats and prayed and monks came and tapped people on the shoulder and took them individually to sign guest books and make offerings.  The monk handed me a pen and I filled the book out.  The last line was a blank for the amount of my donation.  I opened my wallet and pulled out a 10 Yuan bill, filled in the 10, put the 10 in the slot and smiled.  He leans over and points to the number and says "add a zero"  and winks.  Ok, sure, why not.  Then he looks at me expectantly.  I laugh.  Fine, out comes the hundred and into the slot it goes.  When me, Nina and the translator finally got together again, it was obvious we all had been hoodwinked into depositing more than we wanted to.  It was all good though.  Sometimes you just have to roll with it.
...as irresistible as chocolate

rockycoon

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #40 on: November 03, 2009, 08:17:30 pm »
That was a great story, please keep it up, almost feel like I was there with you....

Offline maxx

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #41 on: November 03, 2009, 11:58:09 pm »
Phillip what Chong is telling you is right.About the price of the offerings it was way to much.But it was also very important to your lady to make a good start and have Bhudda and the ancester blessings.That is why she threw all the stuff into the furnace.She was sending gifts to dead relitives and Bhudda.

It sounds to me like your lady is what is called a heavy bhudist.That means she is a real true beliver in bhudda.It should never cost you that much again.SHe was making an offering for the good start.And you were attoning for your sin.Of making her cry the other night.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2009, 11:58:57 pm by maxx »

brett

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #42 on: November 04, 2009, 11:06:04 am »
Wow, a great trip update Philip. I'm glad my lady didn't waste 4000RMB of my money like that though, she would probably have been dumped on the spot. 4000RMB is about 4 months wages to my lady. I got hit with a 700RMB bill for a coat, but it was a lovely coat. I don't know how much your girl earns though - the difference between Chinese incomes is vast, it's much higher than it is in the UK.

Thank goodness my lady doesn't seem to be very religious/superstitious :icon_biggrin:.

Offline Neil

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #43 on: November 04, 2009, 05:53:05 pm »
Lets put this in perspective.  When I was writing Nina, I wrote daily EMF's.  That means approximately 60 credits a month (send and receive).  That's $190 US dollars for 50 credits.  Convert that to Yuan: 1556.  That's nearly an average monthly wage in China.  I'd guess it's close to what my lady makes in a month in sales.  What does the average smoker spend on cigarettes in a month?  Dude, we ARE made of money.  If I knew a lady that I was dating that spent as much as I make in a month on something frivolous, I would consider her to be made of money too.
...as irresistible as chocolate

Offline Philip

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RE: sticky like candy
« Reply #44 on: November 04, 2009, 06:54:10 pm »
Day 5: After all the rampant, reckless overspending of the previous day, day 5 stood in stark contrast.
We eventually emerged from the bedroom to experience one of Changsha’s many coffee shops. We found a nice little private booth and had a bit of breakfast, including some decent coffee and some very fruity teas. Message to Willy the Londoner – Coffee shops are not necessarily the venue for relationship break-ups, ha ha. We rehabilitated that reputation by having some lovely times in these places.
I needed to find out whether I could use my original ticket to fly from Changsha to Beijing, as I hadn’t taken that leg of the flight coming. But Air China weren’t helpful, so I was none the wiser.
Today, I had planned to buy my lady a computer. No, my wallet is not bottomless, but I didn’t like the idea of my lady walking home late from the internet café, plus it is not the most private place to have a webcam meeting. We went to one of the large buildings containing 30 or 40 little computer franchises, which I had been advised by my lady’s brother as being a better place to buy a computer. We went for Acer – there were four or five little shops within the building.
I quite enjoy bartering. There was a nice new laptop with a built-in webcam and 8 hours of battery life. The specs were quite standard. I could have gone for a netbook, but I liked the idea of something with decent storage and memory. I’m not an expert and I probably went for something that was well over-priced to begin with, but the experience was fun.
My lady knows very little about computers, but she knows a lot about quiet determination when shopping. The price of the computer was 6000 yuan. I would ask certain technical questions, write them on my Besta translator and my lady would translate to the sales assistant. Unbeknownst to me she had plucked a figure from the air of 4800. She asked me what I wanted to pay, I said 500 yuan less than the asking price. So after a couple of hours of me stalling and rejecting certain worthless extras and the shop assistant seemingly refusing to lower the price one bit, suddenly he offers me 5250. I thought, where did that figure come from? I was just about to pay it when my lady said, walk away if he doesn’t offer 5000. So I did. I went to the next shop a few feet away, told them to better the offer, which they did, at 5000. The first shopkeeper had followed us to the second shop, everyone was looking over our shoulders at our messages, but it just made them more exasperated.  I was about to buy it, but my credit was rejected, probably after withdrawing so much the day before. My lady said, don’t worry. Let’s eat. We had been with a couple of my lady’s friends, who were seriously impressed by our combined bargaining skills. So, we bought precisely nothing, but we made a good team.
We ate at a local restaurant. As in all of our meals, my lady picks out the spicy Changsha food, washes it in hot tea and puts it on my plate or bowl. She seems to be making me fat.
Back in the hotel, we had another lovely intimate night together. If you are having such a sexy time for four days in a row, two or three times a night, your thoughts inevitably turn to giving Willy the Londoner a call! Luckily, I didn’t need those supplies, but it was a close-run thing. My lady became a bit sombre in the early hours. Over the months, it took me a long time to convince her that I was happy to bring her and her two children to England to be part of our family, but she found it hard to believe that I would accept another man’s child. I have 5 sisters, 1 brother, all with families, all of whom would love to get to know these children. Plus, I love children . I teach young children and am happy for them to be part of our family. But she was now worried that my family would pity her. By the end of our conversation, both of us were using the phrase, ‘Our three children’ (referring also to the baby we want to have together). But it has been a really big issue for her. She is not used to the idea that anyone would want her as a thirty-five year old divorced woman with children.
So, today I spent a bit of money for coffee and meals, and a big fat nothing not buying a computer. But, most importantly, we found out some interesting and important things about each other.

p.s. - here is a picture of my lady in the coffee shop