David
Thanks for posting your story. I love reading about the life stories of the people who end up at this place. There are some really interesting and good people around. I, however, am the exception that proves the rule *laughs*
I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you are approaching this.
I was using chnlove for about a year. At the end of the year, I am not so sure that writing emails back and forth is a very effective way of communicating. So I think visiting in the way you describe may be at least as good a way of doing it as any other way I can think of doing it.
When you begin the journey, you think the hardest thing is choosing from all the pretty faces on the website.
For me, and for others I think, the hard thing is when you have actually found someone you care about, it's from that point on.
I think it is most hard because at that point you have your whole heart invested in the matter, and long distance relationships are just so hard, and often return to you little more than the bitterness of waiting and disappointment.
If I had a friend in your situation, I would suggest finding someone in their own city or even state. There are plenty of good women in your local area, including Chinese women, and it saves you a whole lot of problems.
That said, I am actually very close to a dear woman from Wuhan at the moment. There is every chance this will work out. But if it doesn't, I would have to say, without disrespect to any of my dear friends here, and for the women I have corresponded to over the past year, I would not ever do it again.
It is just too hard and the prospects of it not working out are too high. You would only do it if it was one of your dreams. You'd never ever do it on a whim.
Good luck, and keep us posted about how things go. I'll be really interested to see and hear what happens.
Danny