I need your honest opinions and thoughts, please...

[Hajo]

Andy,

I stick with Max on this one. Give it a little more time. If you move on, you might keep moving on to the next and the next and the next. Which is going cost a lot of money too. I remember, I had the same doubts with my wife. There had been days where almost crawled up the wall because I did not know what to do. I remember the feeling. You write to somebody you have a good feeling with, on the other side there is all the unsure/unsecure. Is she real or not.

It is expensive to write everyday, I remember that, he he. My and my wife wrote each other everyday through EMF, two times even twice a day. But her letters were rather long and sincere. Mostly one page in print.

Of course, nobody can garantee anything. But if you feel good with her, stick with her a little longer. The best prizes demand the hardest work, so to speak. I hope she is the right one for you and hopefully it will be confirmed in one or another way.

All the best!

[Willy The Londoner]

Pah, don't take any rubbish about not having QQ. Everyone seems to have it, my lady can use it on her mobile phone.

And isn't QQ the worst thing that has ever happened on a mobile phone.

Willy

[wilsbrough]

Thanks guy's for your different thoughts on this, i see it is kinda a 50/50 split, some say run for the hills, n others say stick it out a bit longer. I guess if i had not been kinda burned twice already then i would not be asking this question right? Its a shame that the few bad apples out there, make us doubt the genuine people that are here. Well if i do not write her a reply soon, she may think i am not sincere and want anything to do with me anyway. One thought did cross my mind was that after my letter saying about what had happened in the past and about all the 'ghost' writers out there, the photoshopping and scammers that we the guy's on Chnlove know full well about, thinking that i may be on to her (if she is not a genuine person here) would i have got the reply she sent? Or thought '' i'd better move on to the next sucker, as this one is starting to figure me out? '' Just a thought. :dodgy:

Again Thanks.
Andy...

[Scottish_Rob]

Wills I have not said anything about this because...Well to be honest I am not too sure what to say.  Especially after my latest episode...!!!

I must admit and I know this to be TRUE because of the lady before I wrote to before Ke Ren  THERE ARE TRUE AND HONEST LADIES on Chnlove.

What the guys who are telling you to run TAKE IN...What the rest are saying TAKE IN...

There is only one person that can make the difficult decision on this and that is down to YOU.

I like some of the rest and you, believe if she was scamming you SHE would have RUN to the hills.  Maybe me being a romantic sort of lovable kinda guy (LOL) cannot see the trees for the forest !!!

Sorry if this has not been of any help, its just my mundane thoughts...

[wilsbrough]

Cheers Rob, i know what you are saying, n read thru your situation too. (was sorry to read that) I just wondered out of all the brothers out here, has actually anyone fell in love,met, then married the first girl they got to know? I remember reading a post once, with guy's suggesting we start up our own agency with the guy's in China sorting things out at their end, n having girls who we know are genuine, but it did not work out, but your still friends with, or the female mates of their wives n girlfriends who are looking for western men to start a life with. At least then we would be looking out for each other and not relying on the agencies and Chnlove. Did that ever happen? I think the Shark said he had enough contacts to get something going, with translators etc, but then he never came back after being banned right?

Andy..

Ps, i have just finished my reply basically saying sorry for making her feel uncomfortable and pressureized, but i do feel that more direct conact is the natural proggerssion between people who want to build a lasting loving relationship but maybe she thought this was too soon? And i am happy for her to get to know me more first, then when she felt ready for the more direct contact to let me know.

I know she was very badly hurt by her last boyfriend (i wont go into details) So where i am a little cautious due to my experiences here. She probably is the same about rushing into things due to her last boyfriend. Well the message is sent so time can only tell what happens next. :icon_biggrin:

[brett]

Pah, everyone has QQ here. Even my girl's mother can use it. My lady has it on her phone. Anyone who tells you they can't use it is not worth bothering with imho :icon_cool:.

[maxx]

Andy I wrote one women.We have ben married for over 3 years now.We have one son.And another one that is due to be born in late January.Ed Watson wrote one lady.Made the trip.And married her.Martin wrote letters and moved to web cam.Then  went to China and married his wife.

Ed wrote letters for I think about 6 months.Martin was the same thing.Letters and webcam for 6 months.I wrote letters for 2 months.Then went to China.So as you can see it does happen but not very often.And there is no secrete formula for success.

In some respects this is just like trying to date women in your own country.You just have to keep trying till you get the one that fits.

[JimB]

It is very hard to say what it right.  I think just be very cautious as you are doing.  My experience was unusual in some ways where almost everything was written by the translator, but after she and i met we fell in love and are now happily married.  As happy as you can be separated by 7000 miles anyway.  I talk and see her twice a day on QQ.  My stepdaughter has QQ on her phone.  I am putting it on my blackberry also.  So the excuse of not having it is very little.  But, i can understand her not doing it at work.  Most all of these ladies i have met take their work very seriously.  After all it is very hard to find a good career job.  But, internet cafes are all over the place and most all have webcams, so that excuse is weak also.  My translator used the same excuses.  That was at the beginning of the brotherhood and i didnt heed the warnings.  Of course I am glad I didnt but I really think I am in the minority on that.
 We are there for the purpose of finding our love and we want to find it, therefore we tend to believe what is written to us and that is what makes us such good targets for the unscrupulous agencies. There are good agencies and bad ones but I dont think I have read anywhere here where the translator did not get involved in prettying things up. Some of it is to help get the right feeling across and push things forward and of course others are out and out lies.  Distinguishing which is which is the trick and we can only go on our instincts and the tips from here in what to look for. Usually if you ignore the signs you get  burned.  But, every woman is a bit different.  We all take leaps of faith.  You did and got burned the first time.  I feel if you have had good instincts in the past, listen to them.  If not, then listen to the brotherhood. Most all of us here have been through it, done it, seen it, heard it, got the t shirt and the DVD.  If I were you and we are split like this, I would sit down and write out the pros and cons.  Write a few more EMF's and if she does not want to move forward then make your decision based on all of that.  As Rob said you are the only one that can make the decision as you have read all of her mail and it is your money.

[wilsbrough]

Cheers to you all.

To be honest i'm still so split down the middle about this one, but i do see that most of the guy's seem to be saying cut your losses. Whats annoying now is that i sent my letter yesterday, long before the close of business in China, and the letter is still undelivered.....!! so she now wont get it till monday, and a good chance her reply may not get to me until tuesday, this is another reason why i hate the emf's, things sometimes take ages to get translated and delivered to your chosen lady. But i have to say, that after writing my letter yesterday, i think i'm leaning towards the cut my losses option. I have found one of the affiliated agencies now has video profiles. Tho not many of the girls have used it, but there are quite a few on there who have. At least then you get a better idea of her true looks and English ability. Tho, there is still no guarantee that she is the same girl answering your emf's right? But if this girl is the real deal, i think i will give it at least another month just to see if she will give me more direct contact. I mean, if she is my true love, spending another £100/£150 on emf's is kinda worth it i think. But it is her birthday on the 27th, i have already sent her a card via snail mail, and maybe rather stupidly, a small gift through Chnlove (i'm a sucker for it eh?:icon_biggrin: ) But if that does not show her i am genuinely interested in her, and i still don't get the progression in contact that i thought we should be doing. Then i'll be back on the market once again.... fourth time lucky maybe?? :icon_biggrin: Tho i think next time, i may ask my brothers first if they know of any suitable Asian ladies that are looking for an English boyfriend...

Andy....

[Danny]

Andy

I wish I had more answers.

But I really reckon that you should aim to find someone who is wishes to go to the west. Someone who is planning to do this is learning English. Someone who has no English at all, has not really decided that this is for them. So I reckon find someone who speaks a little English, and that you leave emf's behind sooner rather than later.  

There are good and bad translators, good and bad agencies. You don't know what you have until the very end. Fifty-fity are not very good odds. I reckon there are ways that are easier on yourself and your wallet, so I think avoid emf's, in the way you seem to be thinking.

Please note that I am sure people manage to work it out even when there is no common language, but I think, it's really difficult.

Danny

[wilsbrough]

Cheers Danny.

I know what you are saying, but in my first emf to this lady,(and to any lady i have sent 'feeler' emf's out to) i did say that i want my chosen lady to begin our life together in England, and i have no intention to move to China at this stage in my life, so if she was not prepared to do this, then there would be no point in starting a dialogue with her. She claims to be happy to move here. Also her profile says she has fair English skills, which in an earlier emf, she claimed were at conversational level, so according to her, plus combined with my pigeon Mandarin, we should get along fine without the translators. This is why i thought that we were at a point for more direct contact. But then who knows, maybe i have a bad agency here, and i do not know that if this lady IS genuine, she maybe getting my emf's 'doctored' and may have no idea i want more direct contact due to the agency leaving this out of the emf's so they can generate more emf revenue?:dodgy: Out of interest, has anyone else delt with Jiangmen Jiangmei International Marriage Co. LTD. P662? Do we know of their reputation?

Andy.

[brett]

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys,

QQ is one of the biggest brands in China. I've seen QQ on advertising hoardings, you can buy the penguin plushie, you can use it on your mobile phone. If your lady claims to not know what it is or won't use it, then be suspicious or move on and find another :icon_cheesygrin:.

[Vince G]

QQ is one of the biggest brands in China. I've seen QQ on advertising hoardings, you can buy the penguin plushie, you can use it on your mobile phone. If your lady claims to not know what it is or won't use it, then be suspicious or move on and find another

It's not totally good advice. My ladies mobile does not have it. It's the service she has. No texting. It's a basic service. They are phasing this out and currently she is shopping for a new phone. So to say to be suspicious or move on? It doesn't mean the lady is lying to you. She has to upgrade her service.

[wilsbrough]

Yes, i have to agree with Vince on that one, as i beleive you can only go onto QQ with your mobile if you can access the internet or it is wap enabled. As i also know of people in China who can not use QQ on their mobiles, and not all mobiles will allow texting out of the country they are in. It is not just china, as i have friends in South Africa who had this problem with their mobiles too, and had to Change their phones and contracts so they could send texts to the Uk.

[Vince G]

I myself can get on the internet from my mobile (at additional cost). I'm not sure I can put QQ on it? But I see it this way.. I have a computer for that. I have a cell phone for phone calls. Why pay extra money for something I don't use? She's the same way. :icon_cool: I offered to send her a computer. She said not to spend the money for one, instead use the money to come in person. The computer wouldn't be used so she sees it as a waste. And I'm not spending money for something that's going to sit on a desk collecting dust. We do fine calling on the phone.