I need your honest opinions and thoughts, please...

[David E]

  women that are in their late thirty's and into their forty's are becoming more desperate to find a man and are willing to settle for a man much older than them! Is this true love? I really don't think so! It becomes an issue of lonliness and security!
Jim
[/quote]

Ok...provocative post as always Jim....but there are always 2 sides to this "age" difference arguement.

So a mature woman, say in her late 30's to late 40's will "settle" for an older Western Man because she has little hope of finding a Chinese Man at her age.....and what is wrong with that if BOTH partners accept and understand that this arrangement suits their needs...there are many ways to measure love...especially when you get older...and some of these ways are NOT neccessarily between the sheets !!!!!

I dont think you are correct to categorically condem any relationship that has an age difference.

For instance...what would you "allow" as the difference in age...2 years, 5 years, 10 years...or what. ?? And you are saying here that any mariage betwen two people who DONT match your own perspective of age difference is doomed ??...because until you post a definitive number of years difference, nobody can legitimately respond to your post.

So, Jim...lets hear your CATEGORICAL opinion on the MAXIMUM age difference that can be allowed in a relationship so that it can be considered a valid and long term proposition.

Cheers

DavidE

[Chet Sams]

Ya might want to re read his comment again before jumping the gun ya know.

[David E]

 What is wrong with women, your own age??? I would love to hear your answer!

Have a great day bro!
Jim

Nothing is wrong with Australian women of my age (58) but they all are looking for a man to keep them in luxury for the rest of their lives. And if the Men they hook up with is Ok with that...so be it.

If you are a 58 year old Western man with no assets, no money and no prospects...you aint gonna find a Western Woman...that subject has also been done to death here.

Most Western women of 58 years are very much over the hill...mentally, emotionally and physically. Rampant feminism and possession phobia has turned these women into something alien.

Why indeed do you, me or any Man now cast our sights overseas...because the Internet and modern communications means that we CAN.

I dont particularly seek a woman from anywhere based on age alone. When you begin looking in other countries, it is surprising to get so much attention from women who are younger....and maybe they are ALL unprincipalled gold diggers  ??....I think not !!

What is very appealing to me (and many others whom I know) is that foreign women...particularly Chinese women retain so much of what is honourable and desirable in a female persona.

I would totally discount any woman of 20 years old who wrote to me..it is inconceivable that this could work. But there has been many quality communications to me from women who you would probably consider to be too young...ie about 15 to 20 years younger than me.

But my Lady is 18 years younger than me, she has 2 degrees, is financially stable, is an intelligent, professional woman with high intellect, high morals and high ethics. She is an Internationally recognised Surgeon.

She has no problems with age difference, I have no problems either. She sure dont want me for my money, she has her own, she sure dont want me because I am a Brad Pitt. So why does she want to continue our relationship to the point of marrage ....you tell me

I think its simple...because we have come to our own conclusions after many, many communications that we are compatible, we have genuine feelings for each other and we are not silly children who got caught up in some sexual fantasy.

So if such an age difference dooms us in your eyes, I want you to tell me why ...because you have got a very big hang- up about this subject.

If there is something i have missed, I want to know about it.

Knowlege is power.

DavidE

Jim placed a number in his post ... he talked about an age difference of 20 years or more, and how that affects the relationship

I know when I started my search I was 47 years old, and I would not even consider a lady under 35...
I felt that 12 years was the most I would want to go, concerning an age difference...

Mike

I do understand your thoughts about this subject..and obviously you did think about it.

You came to your decision that 12 years would be your number...

But let me ask you...if your lady was 13 years younger ...or 14 years ??...would it have made much difference ??

DavidE

[Willy The Londoner]

But then how many men are treating the women the same way.  

How often do we hear that someone is coming to China and is intending to meet two three or more women through the agencies.

When a women gets an introduction to a foreigner she has to pay a fee whether it goes further than one date or not.  Some agencies are charging them up to 10,000 just for arranging that meeting for the lady and one sent a lady a dated a bill for 20,000 for that meeting!!!  

That is a lot of money as we all know what the average wages are here.

 So lets be fair to the ladies as well as wanting fairness for ourselves.

So remember if there was no agencies, no translators then Chnlove would not exist.    And we would not have this forum and probably we would never have what most others do not have and that is special the love of a chinese lady.

Ok we would all like the agencies to be squeaking clean but it is not going to happen - why because humans are involved.  And where humans are involved there will always be those who want that little bit more than anyone else.

(Am I getting indoctrinated or what!!!!!)

Willy

[shaun]

Who was that last post? :angel:

[Willy The Londoner]

Let me get in in here.

OK I am one of the eldest on this site and I admit to being 60.  Since arriving here in June I have been out with girls in their 20's and 30's and 40s.  

But would I marry one of those in their 20's or 30's the answer is no.  Although I intend to live in China there will be times when I have to return to the UK and would I want to be seen walking arm in arm with someone half or even more than half my age - no I would not feel comfortable with that or the comments that we may receive as a result becase in the UK there is prejudice on just about everything - race, age, colour sex.

In China it is no problem as I am stared at where ever I go so what is the difference if I have a beautiful lady with me or not and as far as I know no one has made any derisory comments at all.

But in UK that would be different.  

So I have settled on a lady who is 14 years younger than me and who who treats me like no other has ever done in my entire previous 60 years.  We have been living together for a while and it is great.

Would I give that up  - never.  

No one can say you should have age gap no more than 'x' amount of years that is up to the individuals concerned. If they are happy with the difference then great,  if not then they should look elsewhere.  

Willy

[shaun]

Good for you Willy. I am happy for you.

Here I am obsessing over a 16 year difference with me and a woman I am talking with on another site.

Shaun

[Willy The Londoner]

As I said on another thread Shaun - if you both feel ok about it then go for it.

Willy

[wilsbrough]

So, a funny thing happened today. I got an emf from Lianne (the girl that i was writing to that started this thread) It's been two weeks since our final communication. She was just saying hello and was asking how i was, and although i said we could no longer be lovers, i did say she still had a friend here. I only had two credits left on my account and said i would like to stay in contact, and i also explained to her how the emf system works for us guy's. (cost etc) I mentioned that i was no longer going to bother with Chnlove and after my reply i would only have one credit left which she could use in replying to me. I said i would like to stay in touch, but as no longer would be buying credits, she would have to give me some contact information on how i could write to her if she wanted to continue any kind of correspondence with me. I included my email and mobile number in my emf to her. She did reply the next day saying she did not really expect to here from me again, but was happy i did. She thanked me for sending her my other contact details and said she would try to contact me in the future thru these methods. But funnily enough, she did not provide me with any way of contacting her. (email, which i know she has, or mobile number) Hmm, was this a genuine reply, or just the agency trying to get the last few emf's out of me? Who knows? I guess if i get an email from her, then it was a genuine message, if not, it must have been the agency phishing for a few more emf credits.....

Andy.