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Offline Brian Mc

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Life in China with Zhen
« on: November 01, 2009, 09:47:38 am »
First off to the mods if this would be better in the share your love story forum please move it there, I wasnt sure which was best.

Ok as many know I have quit my job and apartment in Edmonton, moved my furniture and effects to Summerland BC with my sister, packed up my life and moved to China to be with Zhen.  we decided I would move to China to live until after we marry and get the visa to allow Zhen into Canada.  No way am I going to marry her and then leave her in China while our BS bureaucratic system takes a year or so to decide our marriage is real and lets her into Canada.  So we will live in China until we can move to Canada as a couple or not at all.

So in this thread I will chronicle the ups and downs of our experience from me leaving Canada to our return to Canada if we ever get that far.

So after arriving in BC on the 17 October I spent the last week tidying up my affairs and setting things to run by themselves while I am out of the country for up to 3 years.  I also gave my sister power of attorney to handle any emergency issues that pop up.  So between doing that and spending a few days with my Mom and two sisters the week past quite quickly.

The biggest issue was packing for that long of a stay out of country.  Also my sister decided to send a ton of Avon products over for Zhen and her friends so that really cramped up my luggage.  It cost me and extra hundred dollars at the airport for overweight bags hehe.  So on the 25th of October I bid farewell to Canada and boarded the plane for Beijing.  The flight was packed and there were over 100 people from India as well so the plane stank pretty quickly all the way for 12 hours.  Even the great stewardesses of china air were visibly disgusted by the end of the flight.  It sure made it seem even longer than when I went over in september.  Still I survived to arrive in Beijing and thats all I cared about.

When I got off the plane in Beijing the excitement really started to build and I breezed through the health checks and customs.  My bags even decided to come with me this time and even managed to stay together, overstuffed as they were.  So out the departure area I went and heard someone calling my name in a beautiful chinese accent, yes it was Zhen who came to get me at the airport.  So into a cab and off we went to a hotel.

The hotel was not very good but I suppose it was all we really needed.  Next day we went to the Beijing zoo to see the Pandas.  First time ever saw one in real life.  We did the rest of the zoo as well and were done just after lunch.  Then it was off the seaworld exibit for the afternoon but that turned out to be a disappointment and ended in just over an hour.

Zhen and I picked up exactly where we left off and communicate quite well without the electronic translator using her minimal english and my very minimal chinese.   We just seem to understand what each other is saying even though we cannot understand the words.  People say its like we have been together for years.  Its actually amazing that we can go for a whole day and never touch the electronic translator at all.Keep in mind also that the translator machines seem to do better from english to chinese than they do from chinese to english  and get confused quite easily.

So next day its off to the train station and our trip to Handan, which is Zhen's home town.  Getting all my luggage and Zhen's into the train was a hassle, just lucky we had the front seats in the car we were in so we had a bit of extra room for the suitcases.  However when we got to Handan getting a cab was impossible.  None of the taxis wanted to take all the luggage.  We finally ended up in a powered pedicab but he had an accident with a donkey pulling a cart of bricks and screwed up one of his wheels.  He was nice enough to get us a real cab for the rest of the trip to our apartment though.  dindt seem to bother him about the accident either.  Strange people these chinese.  So after over an hour in cabs we made it to our apartment.

For those that have never seen chinese apartment buildings, they dont pay any attention to the common areas like stairwells or the outside surrounding areas, so we had to step over the garbage and debris and climb the stairs in the dark to the apartment, luckily for us its on the first floor.  The building from the outside looks like a slum but the apartment itself is just like a typical western one except it has a squat toilet and a tiny kitchen.  How these ladies can cook the fantastic meals they do in that tiny space using the stuff they have available is astounding.

Now since Zhen borrowed this apartment from one of her friends we cannt unpack as her friends clothing etc is still in the wardrobes etc so I will be living out of my suitcases until we get a teaching position.  Also a word about the water.  As most know the tap water will make us westerners sick really quickly and even Zhen doesnt drink it.  What we do here is put the tap water into a water cooler that heats the water for hot water.  so we take it out by the glass and let it cool and drink that.  So far I have seen no ill effects from doing this and I have been drinking it for about 5 days.  I also use the same water for brushig my teeth.

Zhen and I visited the agency the day after we arrived in Handan and I was greeted and welcomed like a long lost friend.  The agency in Handan is truly a fantastic agency with genuinely friendly people.  We spent over an hour chatting with Daniel and Echo the owner and several of the ladies also  The agency is within easy walking distance from our apartment so its really convenient.

Adjusting to being almost the only Lao wei in Handan was easy this time since I knew what to expect, but it is still funny watching all the old folks or teen age girls staring at me all the time.  Still the people are really friendly and no one is rude or intrusive so I figure let them stare and bask in the attention heheh.

Another thing is that all these chinese ladies I think get started right away with husband training.  When I read the thread where the married guys discussed this I thought it was funny but now I am seeing it in action heheh.  Watching Zhen rule her house is quite the sight until she starts in on me for leaving something in the wrong place or not doing what she tells me to do etc.  Its quite funny although she is completely serious hehe.  However when we go out she is the perfect dutiful wife and always agrees with what I say or suggest, and definitely looks out for my well being.  Walking about town with Zhen on my arm surely makes me the proudest , happiest man alive.  It is amazing how smart and organized and independent yet at the same time totally willing to let you lead these ladies are and I cherish her for who she is and her trust in me.  I could not ask for a better wife than Zhen and feel truly blessed that we are together.

A couple of days after i arrived in Handan my back began to give me problems.  I occasionally get pinched nerve issues in my lower back and it started to act up now.  Also I think the pollution irritated my nose and throat so its like I have a cold.  Well off to the pharmacy Zhen goes and comes back with medicine for the nose and throat and some back patches for my back.  Well after only two back patches my back is fine again and my cold symptoms are fading rapidly.  These chinese sure seem better at over the counter medications than in Canada.

So we have settled in to our apartment, and also |I had a job interview that Zhen set up with one of the local private schools.  The problem is that they cannot get me a Z visa as I dont have a bachelors degree but they are willing to have me work illegally and will basically buy off any one who has an issue with it.  My problem is that if I get deported for working illegally then I cannot get back into the country and so wont be able to marry Zhen so I think I will turn down the job.  I know its a small risk but I am not willing to accept any risk that might interfere with our marriage plans.  I do have another phone interview on Monday for a position in Wuhu so if that goes well I think I will take that job as they can provide a Z visa so the  work is legal and I can stay in china for at least a year without issues.

So here we are basically caught up to date with our little story.  Zhen goes back to work tomorrow so I will get a taste of being on my own for the entire day without her to help translate or for company.  She has told me not to answer the door if someone comes and also if  I go out not to go too far.  She also told me to call the agency if I run into trouble with anything.  Talk about being looked after hehe its like I am a teenager again.  Still its nice to know she is so concerned with my well being.

So there you are the first week of my new life in china.  Every challenge has been easy to solve with Zhen at my side and we sure make a perfect couple.  We think the same, look at things the same, love each other the same etc.  Its like we are two halves of the same person.

Anyway more later as things develop.

Regards,

Zhen and Brian

Arnold

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2009, 10:13:32 am »
How exciting to be part of your Story Brian . As you know , I will start mine soon too .
Just waiting with patience ( which I have learned the last two years or so ) for any up-date on your married Life and your Job seeking .
Thanks buddy ,
BBB

Offline JimB

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2009, 10:39:51 am »
Yes, very interesting. I personally thought it was funny when Mrs. Burk told me not to go outside, do not answer the door, do not answer the phone, etc.  I had to convince her I knew my way around before she was comfortable enough to allow me out of the house without her.
Good story Brian.
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Offline Martin

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2009, 11:17:01 am »
HA...you rookies!  I was allowed to go out all by myself to a bakery one morning.  OK, so it was only around the corner...but my wife trusted me!  hehehe

Great story Brian...looking forward to more.

Scottish_Rob

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2009, 11:34:43 am »
Quote from: 'Martin' pid='21593' dateline='1257092221'

HA...you rookies!  I was allowed to go out all by myself to a bakery one morning.  OK, so it was only around the corner...but my wife trusted me!  hehehe

Great story Brian...looking forward to more.


ROFLMAO...ROOKIES hahahaha

brett

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2009, 01:21:29 pm »
Yeah, what a load of rookies. My lady put me on a train to Wuhan and told me not to get in any bad taxis when I got there. She even taught me that strange hand movement for flagging down good taxis :fi_lone_ranger:.

Arnold

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2009, 02:02:54 pm »
I guess , I lost out on all that ? She was alway's by my Side , every minute of the day and certainly at night . Looks like ... I'm lucky , she has had the chance to alway's take the time off Work no matter what . I think , she would have quit her Job to be with me . Now , that is Love ! Don't know , if I would have done THAT for Her ... here ? Seem's , I need to give more than 95 % . :-/:icon_cheesygrin:

Offline Irishman

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #7 on: November 01, 2009, 03:55:22 pm »
Fantastic post Brian, love the detail.
My fingers are crossed for you, hope you can find suitable work as soon as possible.

Have you got a Chinese mobile yet?, its freedom! no matter where you wander off to or get lost at, you can just call Zhen and she can text you something to show to the taxi driver (or anyone one that can help you) in Chinese or she can talk to them if needed. Its a real safety net and a total invaluable thing to have I found.
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

Offline Brian Mc

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #8 on: November 01, 2009, 08:59:07 pm »
Quote from: 'Irishman' pid='21615' dateline='1257108922'

Fantastic post Brian, love the detail.
My fingers are crossed for you, hope you can find suitable work as soon as possible.

Have you got a Chinese mobile yet?, its freedom! no matter where you wander off to or get lost at, you can just call Zhen and she can text you something to show to the taxi driver (or anyone one that can help you) in Chinese or she can talk to them if needed. Its a real safety net and a total invaluable thing to have I found.


Greetings Brothers,

Thanks for the kind words guys.  When I first came to china in September I would go for a walk around the hotel area every morning before Zhen got up and she was quite amazed I did this so easily.  However now that we are in Handan together and she is fully into her Lao Po mode things are different.  She watches me like a hawk to make sure I eat enough, am warm enough am watching for traffic etc.  It is amazing how much concern and consideration and love she has for me and my wellbeing.

Irish, as for the phone yes I brought my cell from Canada however I cannot put a chinese chip in it so Zhen gave me her old phone with strict insttructions that if I need anything I am to call the agency and they will help me out.  As I said before this is a great agency and they go well above and beyond for their girls and now I guess guys.  I am quite sure Zhen will get a call if I screw up heheh.  The good thing is the agency is within easy walking distance from our apartment so if I do need help I can just walk down there.

As for the work thing I have a phone interview with a school in Wuhu this morning.  I tried calling both numbers given to me but both were no answer so I will try again in a little while.  So far the job looks good so I hope everything goes well.

Last nigh Zhen returned to her old place to be with her son and today she goes to work for the first time since I arrived so I will have been on my own for a whole 24 hours when she returns this evening.  She even bought a microwave so I can heat up some food for lunch that she prepared last night for me.  It truly is unbelievable how much they are willing to do for their lao gong without ever being asked.  My wellbeing seems to be her primary concern now.  It sure is great to be loved that much and I am truly happy that she is mine heart and soul.

Our communication is getting better also even though our language skills are slow I find that when she speaks to me in chinese I often understand what she is getting at and this really sends her friends into gales of laughter.  I can understand Zhen a bit but not at all with her friends.  Zhen and I really do have a connection that we can communicate like this.

SO it snowed a bit in Beijing yesterday and was quite cool here in Handan also so the weather here is cool for october.  Its supposed to warm up again though but these chinese are sure not used to cold.  I walk around in a t shirt and they are in winter parkas, its really funny watching their faces, first a lao wei, plus no coat, plus walking with a stunningly beautiful chinese lady.  Priceless.

Well I am off to call this school again and see what they say.

Regards,

Zhen and Brian

Paul Todd

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #9 on: November 01, 2009, 09:37:24 pm »
Hi Brian,

Glad to hear that you made it to Handan safe and sound and that the job offers are starting to come in ! I think you are making the right choice to go with the position that offers you the Z visa. You've come to far to blow it now! I was planning on doing some private tutoring work but with job offers including the Z visa, what's the point in taking any risks. I heard from my Oz mate Lester last night he's just got back to Baoding from Hong Kong on his Z visa run so when I next see him I'll get all the details and post them up. Looks like there might be a few of us off to Hong Kong soon!
It took two weeks before I was given a door key and trusted to go out on my own!  Even now she worries if I'm out and about. I was offered a job the other day with a house thrown in, I said to her well we don't need the house to which she said "But it will be a safe and warm place to be when your so far from our home" It's a 20 minute walk away!!!!
Yes, we had a bit of snow here yesterday, couple of inches,but enough to bring to Uk to a standstill !  Ming Zhi came home with a full set of thermal underwear for me! Say's it all really.
Hehe hehe "It is amazing how smart and organized and independent yet at the same time totally willing to let you lead these ladies are " Err, just what are you in charge of , Brian ? :-/
 Hope the job interview goes well
Ming Zhi,Paul :icon_cheesygrin:

Offline Willy The Londoner

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #10 on: November 01, 2009, 10:26:24 pm »
I am pleased to hear that you are settling in OK Brian.   How did you find the snow yesterday?  It is still,in the upper 20's here.

I would have written a piece on my first four months here but it would have probably been to salicious for you young fellows so I would just like to echo a few things that Brian has bought up.  

The water in the cooler is OK asit it usually from the same source as bottled wateryou buy in the stores.  When they deliver then it should be sealed.   I have in the past drank tap water here that has been seriously boiled but that was when I was desperate for my early morning coffee.  

Not all stairways are dark and covered in filth though.   It depends on where you are.  I had visions of this dark stairways before I got here but have only seen one so far in four months.  (Probably because I live in POSH areas).

But now I am settled with someone and has my life changed.  You Bet it has.  I have never been so well loooked after in my life.

So Brian I certainly know what you have got to look forward too and maybe it will tempt me to write about my experiences here soon.

Willy
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Offline Rhonald

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #11 on: November 01, 2009, 11:29:30 pm »
May your fortune cookie bring many blessings Brian. Good luck job hunting.

You must be in a Zen like state of mind with your Zhen.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2009, 11:30:31 pm by Rhonald »
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Offline Brian Mc

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #12 on: November 02, 2009, 01:45:06 am »
Greetings Brothers,

Thanks all for the support and encouragement.

Willy, it didnt snow in Handan so no worries there however it did snow every day for a week in Edmonton Canada just before i moved my furniture and that had me worried.  Since I am used to Canadian winters a little snow here is no biggie for me, although Zhen is in full winter mode now with heavy coat, scarf hat gloves etc.  Its quite funny when we go out her all bundled up and me in a t shirt.

Also Willy the water cooler jug we fill up with tap water everyday and thats what we drink and make coffee etc with.  So far almost a week and no ill effects so I think it works ok.

Ronald my friend you have the wit of a poet always a funny comeback.

Paul, "what are you in charge of?" well first the obvious, I get to decide on where we go to live since its based on my work, and we all know thats real he man stuff.  Also I get to decide on what food I eat from the selection Zhen offers to me, I get to decide if I brush my teeth before showering or after, and most important of all I am in charge of our personal entertainment.  So all in all I am master of all I survey and totally happy with the world and my place in it.  The only thing I would change right now is that we were already married instead of waiting til Feb.

Also an update on the job interview.  I called the school back and did the telephone interview, which was basically about 6 questions the lady had from an interview sheet, took about 5 or 6 minutes.  She contacted the recruiting company who sent me the contract and said the school was very satisfied with my interview and so now I have to sign the contract and send it back and the job is mine.  

So it looks like I am off to Wuhu Anhui province for the next year or so.  Zhen is at work so I could not tell her yet but we discussed it and she is cool with it so off we go probably to start there around the 13th of Nov.  Finally I will get to settle down for a while and we can get down to the serious business of starting our new life together.

So all in all it looks like my leap of faith has paid off exactly the way we wanted it to so we are both very happy.  Now all I need is a wedding and my happiness is complete.

Regards,

Zhen and Brian

Offline Willy The Londoner

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #13 on: November 02, 2009, 02:23:37 am »
Congtrats on the job Brian.  It looks like you are all set.  

How can a piece of paper make you happier than you are now?  

It is just so nice to have someone in your life who really shows they love you.  

Willy
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Offline RobertBfrom aust

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RE: Life in China with Zhen
« Reply #14 on: November 02, 2009, 02:27:58 am »
Terrific news Brian , all very smooth and straight forward , shows what love can do , and you are certainly the BOSS of everything [ within 1 metre ] after that the real boss takes over , and yes in ChongQing we always wander and when she jumps back to her home for something , I love telling Ying all the places I have wandered into while she has been gone , she with a surprised look , thinking I would sit and watch tv until she returned , regards Ying and Robert .
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