JUST FOR A LAUGH

[RobertBfrom aust]

Daughter : I am in love with the neighbor, so I am running away with him.

Dad: Thanks , you have saved my money & time.

Daughter: Dad, I am reading the letter left by Mom!



------------------------------------------------------------------

Wife hit her husband with frying pan.
Husband: What was that for…?
Wife: I found a paper in your pocket
with the name Jenny on it.
Husband: I took part in a race last week
and Jenny was the name of my horse.
Wife: Sorry..!
Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again
Husband: What now..?
Wife: Your horse is on the Phone

[Robertt S]

 

[Willy The Londoner]

That sums me up perfectly Robertt 

Haha

Willy

[shaun]

No fair Robert.  Peggy thinks it looks like me. 

[RobertBfrom aust]

Willy and Shaun , you are both wrong , it is actually a picture of Sylvain in his pond , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[john1964]

The plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat and mutters "I don't like Chinese"...

"No rike Chinese huh?" asks the co-pilot "why you not rike?" "You people bombed Pearl Harbour - that's why!" "No, no" the co-pilot protests "Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese!" "Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... doesn't matter, all gooks are alike!"

There's a few minutes of silence.

"I no rike Jews!" the co-pilot suddenly announces. "Oh yeah, why not?" asks the captain. "Jews sink Titanic!" says the co-pilot. "What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain "It was an iceberg!" "Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg... no mattah... all same!"

[Vince G]

Truth

[Willy The Londoner]

Thanks for that Vince.  I have been practicing that ever since the www was invented by an Englishman.  He probably only did it with me in mind.

Willy

[Jason B]

can we get one thing straight.........the WWW was actually invented by the US military for all their various forces and parts there of to be able to trade real time data, stratagies  and info....it was then passed on on a need to know operational basis to her allies.....there in lies the availability to get the idea to the general public.......

it may have been made available to the public by an Englishman but he did not invent it........

hiding in cyberspace for rebuttles........

[Willy The Londoner]

Rebut number one coming up.

A graduate of Oxford University, Tim Berners-Lee invented the World Wide Web, an internet-based hypermedia initiative for global information sharing while at CERN, the European Particle Physics Laboratory, in 1989. He wrote the first web client and server in 1990. His specifications of URIs, HTTP and HTML were refined as Web technology spread.

Need I say more?

Except that he was knighted and is now Sir Tim.

Willy

[john1964]

A Chinese man decides to retire and move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai.

He bought a small piece of land. A few days after moving in, the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs' he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom' he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way... pause... and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.

The Aussie bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says "Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood  and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it  and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you".

The Chinese man is very taken back and says "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no ... Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs".

"What do you mean mate" says the Aussie "Those aren't Australian customs".

"Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me" replied the Chinese man "He say to become true Australian, I must learn to... chase chicks... get piss drunk, and... listen to bull-shit".

[Vince G]

newbies?

[RobertBfrom aust]

This one is for Vince as it is in his area .


Restaurant offers chance to eat sushi off nude models

Yahoo!7August 7, 2012, 9:32 pm














Enlarge photo
 



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Times may be tough in the fine-dining business but one restaurant is hoping to attract customers - and perhaps save money on washing-up - by giving customers the chance to eat sushi off the naked bodies of attractive staff.

The Catalina Hotel and Beach Club's Kung Fu Kitchen and Sushi in Miami offers customers the chance to order 15 feet of sushi and sashimi, which is placed strategically on the naked body of female and male staff, for $500.

"You basically get to dine off a naked human body" the restaurant's owner, Nathan Lieberman, told Local 10 News.

"It's mostly for groups, parties, bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, birthday parties.

"You call in advance or pop in and hopefully we have someone that wants to take their clothes off and lie on a table."

Customers must use chopsticks to pick up the food off staff, who Liebermann says are scrubbed "like surgeons" beforehand to for hygiene reasons.

"I have a very good-looking staff," Lieberman continued.

"They have leaves and lettuce covering their private parts and their nipples are covered in plastic - as well as wasabi."
Florida's Department of Business and Professional Regulation says the restaurant is not contravening any laws.

[Vince G]

ah yes the Catalina, one of the nostalgic 1950's hotels down there on South Beach.

[Robertt S]

How to water-ski in China