JUST FOR A LAUGH

[Jadams79]

Chnlove.com thread you never want to see posted.

So all the girls are pretty do you think I can find one with a gay brother?  I'm really into chinese guys........

Sorry I have been out trucking since febuary and after all the new threads I have read, I decided to post one that was the most off color that HOPEFULLY will never be posted on chnlove.com but I thought why not post it here LOL!

[Neil]

---
Can't fix stupid.

Love your sig.  All the millwrights at work have that on their hard hats.  Us electricians have "I fix stupid" on ours and our apprentice used to be a millwright so his says "Can't fix stupid" and under it says "Yet".

[Paul Todd]

China Love Hotel,now were gettin' freaky'
The hotel has attracted lots of customers with each of the rooms furnished with a red bed with straps, an adult chair and a gym ball, while the owner is a little worried the hotel might be perceived as a brothel.
[attachment=21]
An employee demonstrates how to use the facilities in a hotel room for adults in Nanning, South China's Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region.
[attachment=22]
featured in China Daily. Didn't know if I should post this here or newbies corner!

[Jadams79]

Never mind google for the win!... Aint going there, although would be fun, but I'm afraid my girl would get the wrong impression LOL!

[David K]

The value of a Second Opinion  :lol:
===============================
Looking very grave, the doctor said,
"Bill, the good news is I can cure your headaches.
The bad news is that it will require castration.
You have a very rare condition,
which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the
pressure creates one hell of a headache.The only way to relieve the
pressure is to remove the testicles."

Bill was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to
live for. But he felt he had no choice but to go under the knife.

And so, he booked in, was laid out, and de-bollocked.
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first
time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of
himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a
different person. He could make a new beginning and start a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new
suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Bill laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Bill tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Bill admired himself in
the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"
Bill thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed
Bill and said, "Let's see 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."
Bill was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Bill tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Bill walked comfortably
around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"
Bill thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36."

Bill laughed, "Ah ha! I got you; I've worn a size 34 since I was 18
years old."
The salesman shook his head, frowning, "You can't
wear a size 34....A size 34 would press your testicles up against the
base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS

[Norb Smith]

OK guys heres one for the doubters, I just did it for fun but signed up to Cherryblossoms.com and the other china love connetion that Chong mentioned, put in a goofy profile, and went to work last nite and just got home a bit ago, and have had 30 admirers notes, so if anyone wants to check out some scams this is the place to find them and not where we have had most of the success with our ladies....ROFLMAO...and I havent even opened any of them yet....LOL

[Norb Smith]

well didnt take me long to go thru the photos what there was of them some didnt even have one and they were really scary the ones that did have profile pics........no thanks, makes me that much more a believer in CL if your looking for a relationship and marriage. but just had to look at it in a scam person type view......so no thanks to those messes..........LOL.... dont know if I should tell my lady Rita about this stunt tho.........LOL

[Norb Smith]

Didnt know really where to put this here or in the ladies are in on the scam post so will let  you guys decide, but must tell Chong got one from one in Toronto, holding the head of a horse across a corral fence and in my opinion the horse is better looking .....at least you could ride off into the sunset...........LMAO

[Chong]

Norb, Vince ... I always miss out on the scammers & laughter because I always hide my profile. Like yourselves at the beginning, I received tons of admirer letters ... I wanted none of that clogging up my email inbox.   :twisted:

[Paul Todd]

Ronan.....Stop press.........Chinese speak Irish!

Story of a Chinese lad who decides to learn Irish.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qA0a62wmd1A

A quote from a Chinese/Irish guy. 'Half of me wants to drink and the other half wants to argue about the price!':rolleyes:

[Arnold]

That Video reminds my of the time , Qing and I went to a German Restaurant in Shanghai and after they served us the Food , I was amazed , that my Qing could eat with a Fork and Knife as good as me , if not better . I have no Idea where she has learned that . Stupid me , never thought of asking her that yet . I guess , at that time I was speachless , seeing this . The only place she's been to is Japan , but they also eat with Chopsticks . Maybe , working as a Model , they would teach you this ? When the time is right , I will ask her , how?

[Arnold]

I got a cute Joke from my Toolman the other day .

This was Easter time , a Farmer thought of surprising his two small Children in the morning , by putting already colored Egg's into the Chicken coup , to make it look like the Chicken's lay'd colored Egg's for Easter . Well , right at break of Dawn , while everybody is still sleeping inside the House , the Rooster goes into the Chicken coup and to his surprise see's all those colored Egg's . He turn around and goes outside ... look's and find's the Peacook and beat's the Shit out of him .

[Chong]

Craigslist: Woman seeks wealthy man

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST

"What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City , so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or
other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER
She gets a response...
PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know. "

[Vince G]

Ya gotta love them New Yorkers. No BS right to the point. :icon_biggrin:

[Arnold]

Man , I love this Guy's answer . Now you can see this as a Joke and Laugh your Gut out , or take it seriously and feel sorry for this poor Woman . I think a Dil** will be her best friend for a long time .