JUST FOR A LAUGH

[Robertt S]

[Scottish_Robbie]

For 2 years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he offered her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18..

She agreed but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back.

He would then arrange for the child support to begin

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

'Honey!' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'

'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.

The woman obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted....

On the card was written:

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti..

Three with meatballs, ........two without...... Send extra sauce.

[Robertt S]

A Melbourne Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of gorilla.
 Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem.
 The Gorilla was on heat.
 To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.
 While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Graham, a big Kiwi lad & former All Black, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery.
 Graham, like most Kiwis, seemed to be possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. So the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution.
 Graham was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500?
 Graham showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
 The following day, Graham announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions:
 "Fust," he said, "I don't want to have to kuss er."
 "Sicondly, you must niver niver tull anyone about thus."
 The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what his third condition was.
 "Wull," said Graham, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.
 

[RobertBfrom aust]

Just for a laugh , I will be in Shanghai from the 1 st December 2012 till the 8 th if anyone else is there , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[Willy The Londoner]

Just for a laugh , I will be in Shanghai from the 1 st December 2012 till the 8 th if anyone else is there , regards Sujuan and Robert .

ShanghaI , Phew!! Thank goodness.  For a moment I thought you was heading South. 

Seriously I hope you have a great time in my Country!!

Willy

[Scottish_Robbie]

I think that this is great
IN CASE YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THIS LITTLE TIDBIT OF TRIVIA....ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON.HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, "THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS.*BUT JUST BEFORE HE RE-ENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK - "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY."MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGHT IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT. HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS .OVER THE YEARS, MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE - 'GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY' STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY , FLORIDA , WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION ABOUT Mr Gorsky TO ARMSTRONG.THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED BECAUSE MR. GORSKY HAD DIED, SO NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION.HERE IS THE ANSWER TO "WHO WAS MR GORSKY":IN 1938, WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MID-WESTERN TOWN , HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD. HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN HIS NEIGHBOR'S YARD BY THEIR BEDROOM WINDOW.HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY. AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY, >"SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"It broke the place up.NEIL ARMSTRONG'S FAMILY CONFIRMED THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

[David K]

From : http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blgorsky.htm
Analysis: This whopper has been circulating for years via forwarded email and can be found on dozens of websites accompanied by the claim that it "really happened."
But it didn't happen, as anyone can verify by perusing the official lunar landing transcript on NASA's Apollo 11 site (audio & video clips included). 
( http://urbanlegends.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.hq.nasa.gov/alsj/a11/a11.step.html )
Sometimes attributed to stand-up comedian Buddy Hackett, "Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky" clearly came into this world as a joke, earning the status of urban legend over time
through sheer repetition under the guise of a "true story."
In spite of the ease with which this revisionist history of the Apollo lunar landing and moonwalk is debunked, it's so much fun to read and pass along that it will doubtless be with us for decades to come.

[David K]

For Scottish Robbie: What they are 'up' to in Scotland???

Women reach orgasm more easily when their lover’s manhood exceeds 5.8 inches, study shows
Scottish psychologists studied the sexual appetites of 323 women and found that most reach orgasm more easily when their lover’s penis exceeds the average size of 5.8 inches.
Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/size-matter-bed-study-shows-article-1.1200988

[Robertt S]

For Scottish Robbie: What they are 'up' to in Scotland???

Women reach orgasm more easily when their lover’s manhood exceeds 5.8 inches, study shows
Scottish psychologists studied the sexual appetites of 323 women and found that most reach orgasm more easily when their lover’s penis exceeds the average size of 5.8 inches.
Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/size-matter-bed-study-shows-article-1.1200988

Just to be clear about this, are you measuring across the head or lengthwise?

[David K]

The article suggests "length" . But I hear that lurking in the Highlands there are huge Tartan Wearing Haggis Eating Sporran Showing Scotsmen with superb Kilt Lifting Equipment, so "circumference" may be more accurate.

[David K]

In any event, this is not real science.  Because we have what us engineers call "a plug and socket" situation.
There is no guarantee of uniformity among the 323 scottish damsels surveyed.
Some may be built like fergusson tractors, others may be of more petite  dimensions.

The only thing for it, is for Scottish Robbie to "stand up" for science and resurvey all 323 ladies 
with his standard "measuring stick" and report back to us with the results.
We look forward to his foray into real science with interest

[Scottish_Robbie]

I'm one person who is ready and willing to stand up to be counted in the name of science...

Having to 're-survey' this set could take a little while...So if you don't hear from me for a week or 2 then don't worry, I'll be 'working on survey'

[Robertt S]

Here is a potential post survey photo of our test subject!

[Robertt S]

[john1964]

An Indian and a Chinese entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the Chinese stole three chocolate bars. As they left the store, the Chinese said to the Indian "Man I'm the best thief, I stole three chocolates and no one saw me. You can't beat that!"

The Indian replied "You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing".

So they went to the counter and the Indian said to the shopkeeper "Do you want to see magic?" The shopkeeper replied "Yes". The Indian said "Give me one chocolate bar". The shopkeeper gave him one and he ate it. The Indian asked for a second bar and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too.

The shopkeeper asked: "But where's the magic?" The Indian replied "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find all three bars of chocolate".