Author Topic: JUST FOR A LAUGH  (Read 303990 times)

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Offline shaun

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1425 on: June 05, 2014, 07:02:53 pm »
This is what happens when you get 4 red necks in a boat with bug spray.

http://youtu.be/nXL_ufssqcc

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1426 on: June 14, 2014, 12:03:04 pm »
Le Serveur | The Waiter (Greg Romano)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CwHrJt8Oz8

Photoshop trumped

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1427 on: June 15, 2014, 11:43:42 am »
Little Johnny

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do.
All the kids are restless because there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day.
The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question".

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln."
The teacher said, "That's right Susie. You can go".
Johnny was MAD that Susie answered first.

The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King".
The teacher said, "That's right Mary. You can go".
Johnny was even MADDER than before that Mary answered first.

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy".
The teacher said, "That's right Nancy. You can go". Johnny was BOILING MAD that Nancy answered first.

Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut".
The teacher turned and asked, "WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny said, "BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?"

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1428 on: June 15, 2014, 11:55:58 am »

Offline Pineau

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1429 on: June 16, 2014, 10:05:15 am »
 




Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
https://chinaandfriends.shutterfly.com/pictures
http://www.youtube.com/user/gerrypineau/videos
http://youtu.be/zG4eoONlutE

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1430 on: June 16, 2014, 09:57:36 pm »

The lawyer says: "I have some good news and bad news".
The CEO replies: "Let's first hear the good news. I have had an awful day".
The lawyer says: "Your wife invested $20,000 in 5 pictures that are worth at least $2,000,000".
The CEO replies enthusiastically: "Well done, very good news indeed, you have made my day.
Now, what are the bad news?".

The lawyer answers: "Those pictures are of you in bed with your secretary"


 

Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1431 on: June 17, 2014, 07:45:51 pm »

Offline maxx

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1432 on: June 27, 2014, 02:32:11 am »
 Some bible thumpers were having a pow wow in Katy Texas. They were on the second floor, of this house. Laughing and praying for the goodness of all man kind. When The floor gave way. And dropped all 150 to the first floor.Nobody was seriously hurt. This do's make you think what the hell were 150 people doing in one house.

Offline fivetrout

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1433 on: June 27, 2014, 09:10:19 am »

Poor-mans...Six Flags amusement park.

Offline shaun

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1434 on: July 03, 2014, 12:11:13 pm »
What struck home for me was #6 but all of them cause me concern.


This is Canada's Top Ten List of America's Stupidity.

Can you blame them for writing this?

Number 10) Only in America...could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 per plate campaign fund-raising event.

Number 9) Only in America ...could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 14% of the population is black 40+% of all federal entitlements goes to black Americans - 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics!

Number 8) Only in America...could they have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

Number 7) Only in America...can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media and liberals react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

Number 6) Only in America...would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just 'magically' become American citizens (probably should be number one).

Number 5) Only in America....could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be thought of as "extremists."

Number 4) Only in America...could you need to present a driver's license to cash a check, board an airplane or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

Number 3) Only in America...could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. Oil company(Marathon Oil) averages 12% profit and they take all the risk and the US government takes by force 18.4% to 24.4% in gas tax for taking zero risk and doing absolutely nothing for that revenue other than creating a law to force the oil companies to give it to them. So the government makes 6% to 12% more profit than the oil companies themselves on gas sales for doing absolutely nothing but using force.

Number 2) Only in America....could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year - for total spending of $7-Million PER MINUTE, and the left complains that it still doesn't have nearly enough money for all their programs.

And Number 1) Only in America...could the so called "rich people" who pay 86% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all .

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1435 on: July 03, 2014, 05:50:09 pm »
Norwegian Virgin Wedding

Olof Svenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota , took a lightning-quick kick from a cow...right in his crotch.
Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground.
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said: "How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon
next veek and my fiancé, Lena, is still a Virgin -- in every vay."

The doctor told him, "Olof, I'll have to put your Villy in a splint to let it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay
next week, but leave it on dere as long as you can."
He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint,
and taped it all together...quite an impressive work of art.

Olof mentioned none of this to Lena, married her, and they went on their honeymoon to Duluth. That night in the
Motel 6, Lena ripped open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts. She said: "Olof...you're the first vun.
No vun has EVER seen deez."

Olof immediately dropped his pants and replied: "Look at dis Lena ..... still in DA CRATE."

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1436 on: July 03, 2014, 06:35:06 pm »
Shaun,
re: http://www.chnromance.com/index.php?topic=134.msg67125;topicseen#msg67125

What struck home for me was #6 but all of them cause me concern.
This is Canada's Top Ten List of America's Stupidity. Can you blame them for writing this?

Number 10) Only in America...could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 per plate campaign fund-raising event.
Number 9) Only in America ...could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 14% of the population is black 40+% of all federal entitlements goes to black Americans - 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics!
Number 8) Only in America...could they have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.
Number 7) Only in America...can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media and liberals react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.
Number 6) Only in America...would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just 'magically' become American citizens (probably should be number one).
Number 5) Only in America....could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be thought of as "extremists."
Number 4) Only in America...could you need to present a driver's license to cash a check, board an airplane or buy alcohol, but not to vote.
Number 3) Only in America...could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. Oil company(Marathon Oil) averages 12% profit and they take all the risk and the US government takes by force 18.4% to 24.4% in gas tax for taking zero risk and doing absolutely nothing for that revenue other than creating a law to force the oil companies to give it to them. So the government makes 6% to 12% more profit than the oil companies themselves on gas sales for doing absolutely nothing but using force.
Number 2) Only in America....could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year - for total spending of $7-Million PER MINUTE, and the left complains that it still doesn't have nearly enough money for all their programs.
And Number 1) Only in America...could the so called "rich people" who pay 86% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all .


your posting here lacks resemblance to anything considered to be 'humorous'...I mean, shit, the thread
is titled "Just For A Laugh" for obvious reasons. You ain't funny.
In the least, extend the courtesy of a "Off Topic" if you want to pursue some agenda contrary to the intent
of the thread. 

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1437 on: July 03, 2014, 06:55:08 pm »

Offline David E

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1438 on: July 03, 2014, 07:35:32 pm »
John B

I have to assume that as Moderator to this Thread that your response to Shauns post was made in all seriousness and not with "tongue-in-cheek"

If that is so, then how does being a Moderator give you the right to moralise over what does or does not constitute "humour" for the rest of us "great unwashed" out here ???? Did you never hear of "gallows humour" which is a legitimate response to some of the truisms mentioned by Shaun. In fact I chuckled in a manic sort of way because if you substitute any Western Democracy instead of America you get the same result.

Your response gets dangerously close to unwarranted Censorship, even though the subject matter was not culturally, religiously or socially offensive.

Maybe it does not fit within your own definition of humour, but some of us here are a little more unbalanced, we find humour per se in the strangest of places !!

I wouldn't have thought that such musings from Shaun warranted the impact of a seperate Thread, these issues are all part and parcel of some of the futilities we all face in this brave new World. If you dont chuckle at them, then the alternatives are to slash your wrists or go and beat your head against the wall  :-[ :-[ :-[

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1439 on: July 03, 2014, 10:51:54 pm »
With all due respect to the membership...
this thread is titled “Just For A Laugh”...sort of like a “time out” from all the seriousness of this site. The postings are supposed
to provide amusement & generate a few laughs along the way as we (the Brothers & the Lurkers, the “Whatnot”) navigate the difficulties
of “East meets West” culturalisms.
I think it is safe to say people do have a sense of humor, like a laugh at something funny, whoever they are, wherever they be. Of course, it
is all dependent on the individuals personal taste. "Just For A Laugh" is desired to be a neutral thread unburdened by any political, religious or social
conflict. It is suppose to be “FUNNY. It is not a forum to air personal grievances or of hidden agendas.
I read Shaun's post.
I can be a funny guy and I do enjoy a joke, but I found that post to be devoid of any humor. I did not alter, delete or sensor Shaun's post in
any way. It sits there in all it's virgin nakedness as authored by Shaun. If one were to Google “ This is Canada's Top Ten List of America's Stupidity”,
you will find the answers to the origins of Shaun's post. As much as I tried to find a small gasp of humor there, it was not to be.
I just drank a few more beers. That in itself was good.