Thank you Chen Yan!
I was about to add my voice to DavidE's request for your opinion about this matter, but you have preempted that with your reply in words of absolute wisdom and clarity. And what better person can they have come from than a young, beautiful, obviously intelligent and sensitive, Chinese woman? Please forgive me if I embarrass you, but the sincerity and sensitivity of the words in your posts leap from the pages - and you also have a very gentle sense of humour: "Marry her Danny, marry her, marry her, marry her!" I thought that was so lovely (and also what Danny wanted to hear!). Just what this Forum needs; a woman's vision, thoughts and intuition. Your contribution is already proving to be invaluable and, I believe, will become even more invaluable as time goes on. I remember when you first posted here you were worried that members would laugh at your English; I did warn you then - and here we are, seeking your advice!:icon_biggrin: I think the mods should put a few points on your reputation....... Thank you again Chen Yan.
I also want to take this opportunity to comment on DavidE's post, as I believe that what he has said is utterly right and self-evident simplicity in itself: It is in a woman's genes to let a man know if she is interested in him, and if she likes him she will find a way to let him know, and always has done so from time immemorial - think of Eve offering Adam her apple ( hoho, non-believers, just an example!). I often read David's posts and reflect on why I didn't think of what he has written; and his latest point is spellbindingly simple in its truth. I accept there are the difficulties of translator fluff and, in many cases, downright dishonesty, to overcome where EMF's are concerned and that it's almost impossible to know what the translator leaves out or puts in. But once it becomes clear that the person you are writing to does know that you would like to move to direct communication; QQ, webcam, private email etc and is unwilling or reluctant to do so, it must be apparent that she is not sending out a signal that she likes you - quite the opposite in fact - but as Chen Yan puts it, "that she is not into you". Therefore, if you have not asked for some form of direct communication you may assume (rightly or wrongly), from what you read in (translator influenced) EMF's, that the person you are writing to likes you, but you can not know. The acid test of that would obviously appear to be whether she is prepared to engage in direct communication or not - and, as Chen Yan says: "If she is really interested in you, she can not wait to meet you." I think, therefore, that David and Chen Yan have provided the answer to Mark's dillemna.
To return to David's point, and to finish on topic. I have known many wonderful and beautiful women, and been involved in countless enthralling relationships in my relatively short lifespan (no, this is not John's boast post!) and David is absolutely right: if a woman is interested in you, or likes you, she will find a way to let you know. She will also let you know when that interest has dimmed and when it has finally died. I'm quite a sensitive person and I have usually been able to pick up on those signs when they have occurred in my relationships (yup, got to admit there have been times) but the fact is, that until I read David's post on this issue, I had not applied this simple self-evident truth to my Chnlove relationship - albeit that I have only ever written to, or wanted to write to, one person on Chnlove, so in that respect I am a complete novice where internet relationships are concerned. How foolish and unknowing can one be? And what David has written - and Chen Yan has confirmed - has gone a long way to providing the answer to my doubts and uncertainties. In my opinion, the guiding principle unearthed in David's post ranks alongside Maxx's 24 hour rule and should be called to mind in the same way when doubts and dillemnas arise.
Many thanks to you both!!!
John
Ps. David, if I didn't know better I would swear you were a Brit masquerading as an Assie...............hahaha.
