Is Online Dating The Problem in US/Canada/Europe?

[RegnisTheGreat]

I'm home yet again from another bad online dating experience (almost). I meet someone off PoF (pretty much all of you must know that site) and we got along well and been talking for like a week and half now. We'd talk on IM every-night and even arranged a meeting on Friday (I'm out of town on business). But last night something she said didn't ring true with me so I did some investigating and I found out that she was completely lying. She's not even in Ottawa but actually is somewhere in Manitoba (I'm a fairly technical guy and that was easy to figure out). Now I'm waiting to confront her when she comes online today but she hasn't made a showing yet.

I'm not a bad looking guy, I give myself a 6/10 and on PoF I'd email woman who I'd consider a 6/10 range. I don't go for the super hot ones or the ones that sound crazy, but most of them just ignore you. I feel like they're looking for someone perfect.

So am I being to think, is it the online dating that's the problem in the west world? That people have much choice and never settle but think they can always do better?

[Rhonald]

I was on POF for a few months. My 27 year old friend goes on quite a few dates from this site. He has had some real weired dates. I remember ever only sending out 3 letters with never a response. When I asked my friend, he said you have to send a 100 at a time. After I heard about this shotgun method I gave up on the site. But strangely I owe POF a favour since it was through an ad from the site that I discovered Chnlove.

[David E]

Dunno about US/Canada but it is sure a problem in Aus....

RSVP is the largest "free" site here...and it is the home of 50,000 weirdos, misfits, no-hopers, perverts and "would be-if they could be !!!"

Had one or two dates some time ago from RSVP...and if you think that the Chinese ladies from CHNLove are not exactly as their photos....RSVP was a knockout, they weren't even from the same Planet.

Here, any single woman is looking for a Man at least 10 years younger...because the Feminists insist that it is their choice to do so...somebody forgot to tell the blokes about this rule.

So for me, RSVP means getting lots of "internet kisses" from women 70 years plus !!!

One heart stopping encounter springs to mind...she described herself as 5 ft 6 inches...55 years old...attractive with "athletic" body type.

I duly turned up to meet this "Lady" and was confronted by a "thing" that was at least 180 lbs, about 5 ft nothing and as about as attractive as a hatful of ass***les and later when she left her purse on the table to go to the loo, I saw she had a Seniors Card in the front of it...you dont get them until you are 65 !!!!

When I politely queried how she had described herself as "athletic"...she replied "well I was very athletic when I was in my teens...and what has that got to do with anything...you should only be interested in me as a person..not a body image...you bloody male chauvinist pigs are all the same "

Hence you can imagine I was outta there at the speed of light !!!

Did you get my drift Abigbutt...maybe now it is a bit clearer why I am looking in China

DavidE

[Willy The Londoner]

Online dating is not a problem whether it be the USA, Canada, Europe or wherever.

It the meeting that is a problem - that can destroy every illusion you have built up on a person.  

Forget meeting them - Stick to online dating as it is cheaper!!!!!

Willy

[David E]

Forget meeting them - Stick to online dating as it is cheaper!!!!!

Willy

Willy

Thats the best bit of advice I have heard in a long time !!!

Should be called "Willy's 5269 hour rule "   :icon_cheesygrin:(with apologies to Arnold !)
DavidE

[Willy The Londoner]

I like the tag Willy's 5269 - but would rather have Willy's 1269!!!!

Willy

[David E]

I like the tag Willy's 5269 - but would rather have Willy's 1269!!!!

Willy

I'm sure you would !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David

[Irishman]

I don't think online dating is a bad thing. Without it, I'd not have, through a fairly circuitous route, met someone unlike I ever met. She's the first person that ticked all the boxes since I was maybe 22 and that's not yesterday and thats a lot of dates ago..

Sure there maybe weirdos and strait out liars and spammers out there, but hasn't that always been the case?, pirates of the coast of Somalia aren't exactly ding something new and inventive.
Its a new medium but people are still people. If you keep your wits about you and have a little luck than you can meet that special person that you would have never met in other circumstances.

[RegnisTheGreat]

But what I don't understand why the lying on these sites? There's no money in it for them (eg. in my case) or anything like that. I've always been 100% honest and treat others like how I wanted to be treated. I am kind and generous. Why the lying? What's the point?

[David K]

"Snipped" Dunno about US/Canada but it is sure a problem in Aus....

One heart stopping encounter springs to mind...she described herself as 5 ft 6 inches...55 years old...attractive with "athletic" body type.

I duly turned up to meet this "Lady" and was confronted by a "thing" that was at least 180 lbs, about 5 ft nothing and as about as attractive as a hatful of ass***les and later when she left her purse on the table to go to the loo, I saw she had a Seniors Card in the front of it...you dont get them until you are 65 !!!!

When I politely queried how she had described herself as "athletic"...she replied "well I was very athletic when I was in my teens...and what has that got to do with anything...you should only be interested in me as a person..not a body image...you bloody male chauvinist pigs are all the same "

Did you get my drift Abigbutt...maybe now it is a bit clearer why I am looking in China

Same in NZ... as I have said before....
NZ dating sites are full of demanding woman who think they are spectacular but in fact are ordinary; in China its the other way round - there are spectacular girls who think they are plain

And its more than just that....Shes early 40's, I'm over 60, and I've been upfront about that from the start.. We've been talking for a year now, including my 2 week visit to Shenzhen, and she still says she loves me as a person, not a body image... Oz/ Kiwi girls go figure.... :-)

More than that, I have had to set aside preoccupation with her rather lovely appearance and focus on the things that contribute to an enduring relationship - acceptance, relinquishment of judgement, and a willingness to be open to spiritual guidance-whatever that means. And of course Wo ai ni....

I've discovered, rather late in life, that I love dancing :-) Heres what I plan to do with her when the time arrives
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMX2p3-oE-g
This is an OZ couple from Melbourne, so maybe they have redeemed the australian cultural cringe
More as it unfolds.... David K in Auckland

[Chong]

But what I don't understand why the lying on these sites? There's no money in it for them (eg. in my case) or anything like that. I've always been 100% honest and treat others like how I wanted to be treated. I am kind and generous. Why the lying? What's the point?

It's the "Sales Pitch". Hopefully, you'll "Love" them later for what they're really. As DavidE wroted, PoF is a "Free" site, so you'll get lots of people trying to "Pad" their personal resume. If they ain't paying anything to join, they're probably worth that much. As Rhonald pointed out, you need to contact 100 profiles to find that genuine 1.

ChnLove is a hit and miss also. If you don't try, you'll never know what could have been.

On the other hand, I know some people ( other than our Forum brothers ) who found their current love one on online dating ... so it works to some degree !!!

[RegnisTheGreat]

I understand padding, but why say you're in Ottawa when you're in Manitoba. And do you guys find ChnLove to have a lower miss rate then PoF? (and holy crap, 100 messages for 1.. I don't think I have the time for that -- it takes me 10-15 to write a good message).

[wilsbrough]

I understand padding, but why say you're in Ottawa when you're in Manitoba. And do you guys find ChnLove to have a lower miss rate then PoF? (and holy crap, 100 messages for 1.. I don't think I have the time for that -- it takes me 10-15 to write a good message).

Mate, write the good message once and then copy and paste it to the other 100....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

[Chong]

I understand padding, but why say you're in Ottawa when you're in Manitoba. And do you guys find ChnLove to have a lower miss rate then PoF? (and holy crap, 100 messages for 1.. I don't think I have the time for that -- it takes me 10-15 to write a good message).

She could have started her PoF profile while in Manitoba and then moved to Ottawa. Maybe she didn't change/update her specs.

Sorry, it's a numbers game ... as in everything in life and in "Sales". This is no different.

[RegnisTheGreat]

I understand padding, but why say you're in Ottawa when you're in Manitoba. And do you guys find ChnLove to have a lower miss rate then PoF? (and holy crap, 100 messages for 1.. I don't think I have the time for that -- it takes me 10-15 to write a good message).

She could have started her PoF profile while in Manitoba and then moved to Ottawa. Maybe she didn't change/update her specs.

Sorry, it's a numbers game ... as in everything in life and in "Sales". This is no different.

Its more then that. She said she's in Ottawa (and yes, not on vacation) but I found her ISP and they only work in Manitoba. Thanks, I've just bought some credits on ChnLove and just started talking one, wish me luck.