Well guys...I really don't know what i am thinking...This is another long read...
All the bloody hassle I had with Kathies (Kathy 1) dad, about not excepting me because of my size...
Well it seems like Kathies Mom is the same, she won't even speak to Kathy at the moment, because she does not agree with 'Falling in Love from the internet', and of course to make it worse, (AGAIN) my height...
Why do I put myself through this !!!!...:@:@:huh:
However, my lovely IS NOT going to part with me,and she means it...:icon_cheesygrin:
Over the last few days and nights, we have been thinking of ways to get her mom to at least think about agreeing to us. I told Kathy that I would write a letter and get it translated in Chinese for her mom, explain all about me, my former life etc. Kathy thought this was a really good idea and TOLD ME what stuff to put into it...And that she would translate it for me..
So Willy this is the reason i've not spoke so much mate, been really busy, sorry...:icon_biggrin:
Last night I wrote this letter out on computer, and then hand wrote it...It is 9 pages long (writers cramp now..lol) A4 size. I have explained all about me. well read it for yourselves...And tell me your thoughts please...
Mrs Wang
Hello, you don't know me, my name is Robert O'Donnell and I have been in contact with your daughter Zhang Ying for a while now on the internet, and have grown very fond of her. I have also met and said hello to your grandson Zhang Cheng Shou, who seems like a very nice young man. He was very pleasant towards me and I think Zhang Ying and her whole family should be proud of him.
I would like to tell you about myself if you would not mind. The reason I do this is so you may know me a little better, and maybe understand me.
My main traits are Sincerity, Honesty, Reliability, Caring, Tolerance, Loving, Romantic, Kind Hearted and many more. I do not drink alcohol, nor do I smoke. I like to have a healthy lifestyle and try to keep myself fit. I am not a practicing religious person, but I do believe there is a God. I am very sure that there are many people who would say that I am a good and decent guy.
I am 53 years old, I was born in the year of the monkey (October 18th 1956), I was born in Scotland, which is part of the United Kingdom. My parents had 4 sons and 1 daughter. I am the youngest child of the family, 2 of my brothers have now passed away, this leaves 1 brother, 1 sister and myself. Our Father passed away 51 years ago when I was 2 years old, my Mother passed away just as I turned 21.
Our family is a normal Western family, all of them are normal size between 5” 5' (165.1 cm) and 5” 8' ( 172.7 cm). All except myself, I am 4” 9' (144.7 cm), however, this did not, nor does not deter me from achieving anything in life.
I left home aged 15, and worked as an apprentice jockey (Racehorses) in England, again still in the United kingdom, which was over 500 miles from my original homeland. I achieved (against the odds) becoming a full time jockey. The reason I say against the odds, is because of the amount of excellent people that I had to compete against to achieve this.
I met my ex wife in this place called Lambourn, which was where I was based. We met and fell in love. Her height was 5” 5' (165.1cms) a difference of 8' (20.3cms) between us. I was 21 and she was 18 when we meet, we married and had 5 children (one of whom sadly passed away in childbirth). Our marriage lasted for 26 years, although we were together for a total of 29 years, which included 3 years engagement/courting.
Many years passed by (she had tolerated me for her daughters sake) but she finally accepted me. She had since apologised for this, and told me, that I was the best thing that could have happened to her daughter, and that she could rest easy knowing that her daughter was very happy in her life with me.
Unfortunately, our marriage ended, simply because she fell out of love with me, and strayed to another mans arms. This I could not forgive, it hurt me so very badly. So I know the hurt first hand, that this causes. There is no way whatsoever, I could do this to someone I love, I could never hurt them this way. Because she strayed behind my back, she did not contest the divorce. So there was no financial settlement after the divorce, we shared everything (furniture etc) equally.
I have always worked hard for a living, it is called in Western Culture 'Protestant Work Ethic'. I have had my own business for a few years, but because of the split from my ex, I sold it and fell into depression, which I am now out of. My 2 sons live here in Barrow In Furness, they have their own families now, 2 beautiful grand daughters and a lovely grand son. My 2 daughters have their own families also and live in Glasgow, Scotland, and there are another 3 lovely grandsons. I see them and talk with them regularly, because I have very strong family values.
I mentioned that I am small in stature, this has never interfered with my or my families lifestyle. In fact with being shorter than the average man, I am more determined to achieve every task that is put in front of me. So I suppose you could say that it has helped me, rather than hinder me throughout my life.
Although I did not leave school with good qualifications. I am now very well educated, I have many certificates to attest to this. I went back to collage and university as a mature student. I have also a Combined Honors Degree in Sociology and History. My aim is to live and teach English as a second language in China, because I know there will be more work at this than I could possibly handle. I will take up a teaching certificate to make sure that I am properly qualified to teach. At the moment I am looking at many schools for work, and have sent off my resume to said places.
If this was not possible to achieve for any reason. I know that with my life skills I will always find work here in the UK. I have done many different types of work. I have worked in a kitchen, swept the roads. Worked with youths, worked as a film actor, and done plays in the theatre. My hobbies include painting in oils and water colors. I have sold 4 paintings before. I am in the process of finishing my autobiography, which has been accepted to be published. So in my eyes there is no shortage of work opportunities here in the UK also. So I know that when I marry a Chinese lady, then I will be able to look after her and her child. The child will have the benefit of being taught another language at home, and also taught about Society and History. Zhang Ying and Chung Shou will be made welcome within my family, my sons and daughters will make her and Chung Shou feel right at home, you can be sure of this. His education will be kept up, by the best education system in the known world.
Why do I not have a girlfriend in the United Kingdom? This is easy to answer, My trust with the Western female is no longer there. I have seen many Western Ladies 'Cheat' (Go into another mans arms) on their husbands. So I feel they can no longer be trusted. Why I would like a Chinese lady for a wife? I have read a lot about Chinese culture and customs. I have found that the Chinese lady is more sophisticated, wiser, thrifty, have family values, and when they give their heart to someone, it is their whole heart and is forever. This is a love I would like to have and share in my lifetime.
I can understand someones feeling about falling in love by talking on the network, it may not seem right or real. Yes there are many who try to swindle or do things that are not right, but not all are like this...I had the same feelings and thoughts about the network, however on reflection this is not so. I have many friends who are married to, engaged to, or seeing Chinese ladies. In fact there are 5 of my friends who are living in China at the moment. They have very happy lives together. Yes there may be some cultural problems to overcome, but every marriage has problems. An interracial marriage is no different, you will probably find that, they work harder at the marriage to make it harmonious and happy. I go into this with my eyes open wide, I know it will be difficult at first. But I believe, if the couple are strong, and willing to talk about everything then a good marriage they will make. It must be a 2 way street withing this, it must be worked at. Nothing in life is easy, would you agree with this?
I have spoken many times with Zhang Ying, we speak about everything. I know that Chung Shou will need time to trust another man, I also know that you and your family will also need time to trust another with your grandson and family member. I understand this. I do not wish to provoke anger in you, so I hope that you can understand what I am trying to say. I believe I read somewhere that “You should never promise a Chinese lady anything unless you mean to carry it out”, This I intend to do with all my heart. I know that Zhang Ying had previously been hurt, I can understand her, our exchanges are honest, we know each others past, we understood each others disposition. We have the argument, also has the misunderstanding, But we communicate promptly, exchanges sincerely, we are willing to study mutually, to deepen each other understanding, increasing each others sentiment, we recognized that our personality was suitable
We, Zhang Ying and I, have grown very, very fond of each other, I believe this could be true love. We have the same feelings, the same understanding of each others ways. We wish to be together and try for a final true love. Your daughter is a very beautiful lady, she is kind, considerate, caring and is a credit to you and your late husband. She tells me that she loved her father very much, she is so proud of him and that she still misses him dreadfully.
I wish to come to China as soon as I can, to visit with Zhang Ying and hope I can also see and meet her family. This would be my honor. I believe that our temperament is very suited to being together, because we are very similar in our ways.
I and Zhang Ying are not willing to cause you to be angry. I know that my height cannot make you satisfied, but a happy marriage does not lie in person's height. It lies in the person's good disposition, another important factor is the person's moral training. Also he must have love and the respect, be tolerant, have a sense of responsibility, loves the children and cherish one's family. I believe that Happiness is a caring person's wealth.
I can understand if you thought your daughter should marry someone who is taller than her, but as you see from my letter, this (Height) does not come into the equation, surely, it is what is in the heart that counts. I know you may think that you will lose face because of this. I can assure, I will bring face to you and your family. I will never do anything to upset, hurt or anger you, your family or Zhang Ying.
Although I am older than Zhang Ying, I am in very good health. If you agree then I am willing to accept a Physical Examination in China. Although I can only speak very little Chinese, I am willing to study the Chinese language diligently, I hope to visit you, I was hoping to obtain your agreement!
Can you please say Hello to Zhang Ying's elder sister and her whole family on my behalf please, thank you very much.
I wish you good health and success
Yours Sincerely
Robert O'Donnell
