When You know it is just right

[rockycoon]

The term "ball and chain" comes to mind.  But this only increases the hat size in american men,  Never had an american woman watch me that close, perhaps they didn't care enough....I guess it's "snatch and grab" over in china, where you are a rare commodity. :icon_cheesygrin:

[shaun]

OK, so now comes the 24 hour rule.  Tonight was a difficult time because Peggy's daughter is having a major problem at work. Peggy is needing to go to her home town to help her daughter.  I am OK with that and encourage her to help her family where she is able to.

We talked a while about what I needed to do to go see her.  I explained what I was doing and she was happy.  Then she makes the following comment, "Yes, I only need Peter. He only concerned about the"  First I type I do not understand.  She looks are her computer puzzled.  Then I say who is Peter?  She side steps the issue talks about a few more things.  Then I ask her I do not understand what you said a few sentences ago and repeated what she said.  Long pause.  Then she tells me take off my glasses she wants to see my eyes. We talk about that a little.  Then she says she can tell I need to go to bed.  We sign off for the night.

The only problem is she never answered my question but even worse she side stepped my question.  I can't hang with that. So I plead the 24 hour rule but when we talk in the morning I will only want to know who Peter is and I will not let go of it.  If she made a mistake OK.  Admit it.  Then move on but do not hide it.  I am sure if we were to marry that I will accidentally call her Diane. Well we were married 27 years but I will apologize to her.

Help me guys because I will not let go until she tells me.

Shaun

[Willy The Londoner]

Shaun hold back and see.  

It could be that she has other things on her mind with her daughters problem.

When so far apart one can get really paranoid about what the other is doing and what was said may have been in all innocence.

Willy

[Neil]

Never doubt the love of a Chinese woman unless she tells you straight.  You will regret it.  

I'll admit, you have to find out the answer to your question, but never assume anything.  Never jump to conclusions.  

You can call that rule #3.

[shaun]

I can handle a slip of the tongue and I think I am prepared that there might be another man.  If I have a plan B why would I not consider her having one but to sidestep the issues and not answer the question?  That is an issue with me.  Bottom line it is called trust.  A sidestep is what I was married to for 27 years.

Willy, it is going to be hard for me to hold back.  I know she is having problems with her daughter and I do not want to draw her focus from that. So.....

[rockycoon]

relax Shaun, take one day at atime, and remember "Peter" could be an ex-or her daughters boyfriend or husband. Any number of things, remember to just relax and I'm sure she will explain later when she is calmed down.

[shaun]

Well, I couldn't let it rest. I didn't sleep well last night and Peggy contacted me this morning at 9:00am as usual.  I was trying to keep cool and the 24 hour thing but she could tell something was wrong.

So finally after asking a few times more and telling me to get some sleep I told her what was on my mind.  I didn't loose my cool but I simply laid out the information as I saw it.  Of course I was wrong and she explained last night it was a translation error.  She said, "Do you think I deceived you?" I told her that at this point I wasn't sure what to believe.

In comes the little sister. Now I am being double teamed.  I do not even have a chance. A snowball has a better chance...   Little sister said, " if she is not a honest woman, then you would never found a honest women any more."  It was at this point that I cried uncle and was laughing.

Peggy and I talked a little more and she said two important things that really changed my mind.  She said, " In fact, your worries are justified. Not being angry. Because we need is honesty, because you and I are experienced unhappy marriage. I understand. In fact, I also worried that you do not really love me."

All in all it turned out to be a defining moment in our relationship.  We had our first argument and I lost.  No, we came to a better understanding of each other.  I told her that I would work as hard as I can to get there was quick as I can which will take several weeks.  I will stay until the first week of May if finances permit and I find a teaching job.  Peggy's family seems to be real connected so it may not be a problem.  I will have to return in May to see my two girls graduate.

Things to think about:  I have not even met sister #2 yet.  I have been double teamed and lost, what will it be like to be triple teamed.  Mom hasn't even entered the picture yet.  Boy am I in trouble.

This all started when Peggy's daughter got into a little trouble.  I am not exactly sure what it is but mother and aunt have gone to shoaguan to help and it take 2 weeks to straighten it out. I believe the daughter is a seamstress. Peggy gave me her cell number and I gave her mine.  She took her computer with her so we can talk when she is available.  This woman from what I can see is walking the extra mile.  Think I'll stick around and see what happens.

Shaun

[Rhonald]

Translation problems - yes - happens all the time. Last week I told my wife that I ate Chicken Parmesan. I decided to translate into simple Chinese and got ?? When I translated this back to English I got Penis forage cream :blush: I hope my wife understands.

[RegnisTheGreat]

Okay, maybe I'm suspicious but how the heck does Peter translate to Shaun?

[Rhonald]

Okay, maybe I'm suspicious but how the heck does Peter translate to Shaun?

Peggy and Peter could have been mixed up - close enough in letters. My wife many times writes he when shen mean she. Also say here when she means there.

And Shaun take care. I have been to see my wife 4 times now. There has been moments after each visit that I had my doubts raised. It's okay to be suspicious, but don't let that little seed of doubt grow into something bigger that can threaten your relationship. Sometimes a little prunning is needed.

[shaun]

Reg,

I understand where you are at with this issue.  She tells me it is an error in spelling.  I will tell you she does not spell well at.  The point is not only can I not see her spelling I would not understand it if I did see it.  If there is a Peter and he is there right now wooing her, she has given me permission to call her any time day or night.

If there is a game going on it will crop up again.  If there is a Peter and she marries him then all I have lost is a few months of talking.  Yes there will be an emotional loss but...  Flip that, if he is there for 2 weeks and then I go say Feb 1 and stay until May 1, how is he going to overcome that?  3 months with her.

I'll take it day by day for now.  She could be telling the truth and what would I lose if I walk away from a great woman?

Thanks for your comments Ron. I am choosing to go with it.  The thing that really impressed me was how her sister jumped in for her sister.  I say they double teamed me but in reality they go to bat for each other and support each other.  Why would the sister do this if she didn't think I was worth being with Peggy?

Shaun

[rockycoon]

the penius porrage cream, a new chinese dish....400 rmb
the look on her face when she decoded it....priceless
You will be the talk of the family for a while....with smiles

Shaun, see I TOLD YOU IT WAS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. Quit being a worry wart, she loves you. And you deserve a good caneing, kinky...lol
wait till your married, if you think a nagging wife is bad, wait till they double or triple team you....heh heh....lol  (now on WWF the american Shaun takes on the evil triplets in a ONE round match...he he)

[shaun]

Peggy has gone to shaoguan to help her daughter for 2 weeks.  We finally talked this morning for a few minutes but no web cam.  She said she would buy one tomorrow.  She asked me if I wanted to see her.  My reply was yes very much.  There was not response so I sent a couple of other comments then 20 minute later she logged off.

I am sure everything is OK.  Peggy makes shaoguan sound like it is an industrial city but in the dark ages.  Her responses were slow so I am assuming that technology is not very good there.  She has been gone 2 days now.  It is like going through withdrawal since I have spent a lot of time with her.

Shaun

[Rhonald]

Well you can always spend time here talking with us. But I do understand that it will not be even close to being the same. I understand how you feel. If I haven't talked with my wife for a couple of days I sure miss her then too.

[Neil]

God yeah.  Those moments when you're not sure what's happening on the other side of the world are rough!  It's difficult to not worry sometimes.  I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but if anything it gets harder.  

That said, the highs are really high, relief is truly relieving and sometimes something as simple as a smile makes the whole thing worth it.  Keep your spirits up and keep busy.