Author Topic: When You know it is just right  (Read 57479 times)

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Scottish_Rob

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #45 on: November 23, 2009, 01:11:36 am »
Very nice looking lady Shaunie boy:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::angel:

Offline David E

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #46 on: November 23, 2009, 03:59:41 am »
Quote from: 'sameldrum1' pid='23754' dateline='1258934768'

Great looking woman, Shaun!  

Shaun, the love of a good woman is way better than a boat or a classic car, or any other material thing.  Scott


mmmmmm....love of a good woman.....Aston Martin DB9 Vantage....??

Let me think about that for a while :):):)

David

ttwjr32

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #47 on: November 23, 2009, 06:04:26 pm »
Shaun,
i sold everything and came to Guangzhou to be with my wife. I dont regret it one bit.
I thought heavily about this and did it and couldnt be happier. What part of Guangzhou
does Peggy live in? Maybe she would like to go to dinner with my wife and i.  I think that
if your prospects in the USA arent really that good then make the move. I was in executive
management all my life and my prospects were dim as companies didnt want to pay me and the
interviews i went on i was always told im overqualified and would not be happy with the salary or
the position so i made this move. We plan on being here till i recieve my social security and i
am like you 53 so i will be here for a while. And guangzhou and shenzhen are good places to live
if and when your tired of chinese food there are enough places to eat something from home.
and quite a few import markets in guangzhou that sell things like coffee that i really needed
because i like my coffee at home. anyway give it some thought and good luck.
Ted

shaun

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #48 on: November 23, 2009, 07:37:41 pm »
Ted,

Peggy lives in Shenzhen.  She retired from a soft drink company in Guangzhou and moved to be closer to her family.  This confused me at first, because blossoms.com listed her in Guangzhou, so I got it straight this weekend.  Guangzhou is not far from Shenzhen as you already know and Peggy has a daughter that lives in Shaogaun.  Since she has a granddaughter there I imagine she/we will pass through Guangzhou often.

I will mention it to her and see when she travels through there.

I find myself with mixed emotions about moving or staying.  I have two daughters who will graduate in May one with a BS in Psychology and the other with a Phd in Physical Therapy.  They both live here and I imagine with a few short years will be having babies.  The one an only reason a person should have children... to have grandchildren.  The other reason is that in 1 year I could get an early retirement from my current employment as pitiful as the retirement will be, with current standards of living will help a lot in China.

But then I weigh it against the thought of marrying her and coming back home.  I can't imagine listening to the others how I could endure such a length of time away from her.  It has only been a few of weeks and this is all so sudden and fast. I am trying to slow down a little but as I am writing this I see the clock and in 30 minutes to 1 hour she and i will be talking.  My pulse is already beginning to beat a little faster.  In my pre-Christian days I didn't get this excited about getting...  well you know.

Anyway I am trying to take my time and sort through all of this.

Shaun
« Last Edit: November 23, 2009, 07:39:18 pm by shaun »

Offline David E

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #49 on: November 24, 2009, 04:33:51 am »
That's all the more reason to buy her a heater...she is now "your Lady" :):):)

So you gonna get ripped for it.....but you know she doesn't really mean it...its just for show...and bloody nice it is too...never get that from a WW...she would say..."it's the wrong colour/brand/wattage/and the moon is in the west...or some such put-down :):)

David

ttwjr32

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #50 on: November 24, 2009, 10:37:56 am »
Shaun,

your right it is a big decision to make that might not be right for
everyone. i am happy i made the decision i made and i talk with my
kids and grandkids over the net. i might ivest in a business here or maybe
just teach to get some money to get by with so i dont have to take out of the bank.
anyway let Peggy know of my offer as Sisi and i would very much enjoy
going to dinner with her. i ould also pick her brain on the soft drink
company she had here. retail is what i did for 30 years with 2 oil companies
and 12 years with circle k as a division manager in charge of 325 stores.
best wishes from Sisi and I to the both of you.

shaun

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #51 on: November 24, 2009, 01:43:28 pm »
Hi all,

Well I have not spent a lot time here the past couple of days.  Been talking with Peggy.  Up to 8 hours a day.  4 in the morning and 4 late at night.  It has been worth while but my butt and back are paying for it.

I talked with her American brother in law this morning. I wanted to talk about a heater.  Well, He wanted to ask me a lot of questions about my intent. He and his wife are staying with Peggy while they are there and it appears that Peggy tells them everything.  I mean everything.  Man I have never been on the hot seat like that before.  He really cares for Peggy and wants to make sure I am a stand up guy.  He wanted to know if I would get tired of her and dump her and when was I going there. Any way I never got to ask him what I wanted to ask so I guess I will try again in a few days.

Ted, I was in the oil business and retired from it.  I was what you would call a doodle bugger.  You know what that is?  I was going to tell her about getting in touch with you but as soon as the brother in law got on all my plans went out the window.

When Peggy got back on we chatted a little and then we went into a lot of questions again.  What was you wife like?  I want to see a picture of her.  She is beautiful why did you leave her?  Do you still love her?  What did you do that caused her to divorce you?  Question after question.  I asked her once, "Didn't you say a couple of days ago that what was past was past, all I needed to do was to love you, lets only think about the future?"  She said yes but I told her that I would tell here anything she wanted to know.  Dang she was listening.  No really I didn't mind.  If she needs to know then she needs to know.

After about 3 1/2 hours she asked me, "Do you still love me?"  Of course I said yes and then she old me the same.  We chatted a few more minutes and the she went to bed.

Guys this is what it is all about.  For the last two days I have become concerned about her constantly needing re-assurance from me about us.  If she isn't asking you that then she isn't interested in you.  If she isn't asking you that then you are talking with a translator and not the woman.  I am now more convinced that talking with Pinky was the translator only and that I should have left the first time I noticed the problem.

Shaun

brett

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #52 on: November 24, 2009, 02:03:29 pm »
Shaun I know we've had our disagreements in the past, but we are onto something with this "do you love me" thing.

Like other guys, I've sent my lady dozens of letters, text messages, went to see her, bought her lovely things and yet she is still not convinced my love is genuine.

My lady didn't say anything to me until I wrote my tough love EMF, and then the truth came out. She is not convinced I love her. Wow, that was a revelation because I thought the problem was that she didn't love me :huh:. All our problems stem from this, and the chuff I'm reading in that Men from Mars/Women from Venus relationship book sort of confirms it.

At least I have something to focus on now, and I will think of more ingenious ways to constantly prove my love for her.

Offline Irishman

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #53 on: November 24, 2009, 02:03:41 pm »
Two of the texts from the women I love that i received today, it is just right ...

honey,miss u so much.i look at ur yellow bag&feel it,seem that u r beside me.i can get ur smell though the bag.i think a lot the good memories we were together [I gave her my yellow rucksack to mind until I got back to GZ]

only ur message is in my phone inbox.read them again&again to think of u.honey,i really miss u a lot.not delete any message u sent me.ill keep them until i c u

The warm feelings shine through, I have found the woman i want to spend the rest of my days and nights with.
Become the change you want today, or all your tomorrows will be like yesterday.

Vince G

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #54 on: November 24, 2009, 04:26:16 pm »
Though I have had women like that in the past (do you love me?) I can say my lady in China isn't like that at all. She's never questioned it. Sje's tested it some? and wanted to see what I would reply (guess I passed the test) :icon_biggrin: But she hasn't asked if I love her? I haven't asked either.

So I will venture to say it's not a chinese thing but more of a individual thing. She may have an insecurity or just likes to here you say it?

Offline maxx

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #55 on: November 24, 2009, 07:11:00 pm »
Shaun I think your lady is taking allot of heat there in China.From sister and the brother in law.I could set here and guess all night why.You just need to keep doing what your doing.And get over to China as soon as possible.That will take allot of heat off your lady.

That is why brother in law wanted to play twenty questions.And why your lady had allot of questions for you.About the ex wife.And why you had to divorce.Unfortunately your going to have to play the game until you get there.Or just move on.I think your in to deep now to move on.So your going to have to ride it out. good luck with the questions.

Maxx

shaun

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #56 on: November 25, 2009, 12:41:54 am »
Jim,

Peggy and I are talking about it.  I would like to go but it will take a while to sell everything I need to sell.  First thing I need to do is get off my butt and away from this computer.  I am talking almost 4 hours 2 times a day with her.  We need to cut it back a little.  Plus if I walk I walk away from a pension I am less than one year from collecting at the earliest date. From this point if I can work 6 more years I will have access to a great medical program for the rest of my life.

There is much to consider and she agrees.  As some have told me here and Peggy as well, I should come and check it out first before I make my final decision.  My business stinks right now but the busiest time is from January - May IF it happens this year.  June - September is not bad so I hate to walk from the good time because of the potential of making good money.  The 1st of April I could put a sign up selling the store and by June it may be sold.  I was going to do it this last weekend but my business mentor advised against it. He said you want to sell when business looks good and is about to drop.  I don't understand this theory because as soon as they look at the financial they will see what I am doing.  If I can see it I know a good businessman can too.

I have a pending legal issues that needs to be solved (not me being pursued).  It kind of fell into my lap but it appears it will be worth the effort.

My two girls graduate in May; 1 with a bachelors and 1 with a Phd.  Someone of this forum said f**k them you've done your job and it is time to live for yourself. All though I understand how they feel, I have invested too much into this to take that attitude. They have let me know that they need me there at their graduation.

I have a son entering the Air Force and should finish boot camp hopefully close to the time the girls graduate. He is waiting for a job before her enters.

I have worked for this moment for 25 years. I will not fritter it away so quickly.  Would I like to?  Yes and No.  I want to have my cake and eat it too.

I know waaa...  waaaa...  waaaa... but there is too much going on to walk away from and again Peggy agrees with me.

IF we can make it to June I think we will have the best kind of relationship.  If not?  Well then I guess she was not the one.

So I will endure and look for ways to make it happen sooner.

Maxx,

She is taking more heat than you will know.  She woke up this morning unhappy.  It kills me to hear that.  It makes me unhappy that I have to look at her on a 4 inch window when I really want to hold her.

I think her sister is pushing her to push me and is pushing her to move to the US.  We talked for a while about it.  she was so upset she said goodbye and signed out.

I am handling it the only way I know how.  Trying to be funny all of the time.

I wish they would leave her alone and let things progress naturally.

Shaun
« Last Edit: November 25, 2009, 12:46:51 am by shaun »

rockycoon

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #57 on: November 25, 2009, 01:40:30 am »
Ok guys, after reading all these threads I am forced to put my 2 cents worth in.

 I think that perhaps it is wise to visit her first, after all you might decide then and there to marry, on the otherhand things can get different in person and so I say, take your time, visit for several weeks, get to know each other in person, and then sell the boat.  

I'd have to seriously think about an aston-martin db.  for instance, how many gals will fit in the front seat?....:icon_cheesygrin:
my house is cluttered also, she'd probably hang up just looking at the mess, besides if I could afford an aston-martin I should damn well be able to afford a house keeper.

but seriously, go visit first, seems like the best idea these guys have had so far, check out the schools and jobs while your there, you can probably squeeze right on in, if so, then so much the better.  

I hate going somewhere I've never been and not know the "lay of the land", get to know the people, customs, your girlfriend, then make your decision, it's easier the second trip, because you already know where everything is and your more comfortable with your souroundings, and your relaxed.

And as to the "do you love me" every 5 minutes.   She probably has had a really bad relationship in the past and is very shy, and kind of like myself very skeptical, not wanting to go through it agian.  Best bet..forget the heater, send flowers instead...my motto is always been go straight for the heart, when you visit, then go shopping and then get the heater, let her pick it out.

and as always, be a good listener - girls love that.  And good luck.....
Quote from: 'shaun' pid='23959' dateline='1259127714'

Jim,

Peggy and I are talking about it.  I would like to go but it will take a while to sell everything I need to sell.  First thing I need to do is get off my butt and away from this computer.  I am talking almost 4 hours 2 times a day with her.  We need to cut it back a little.  Plus if I walk I walk away from a pension I am less than one year from collecting at the earliest date. From this point if I can work 6 more years I will have access to a great medical program for the rest of my life.

There is much to consider and she agrees.  As some have told me here and Peggy as well, I should come and check it out first before I make my final decision.  My business stinks right now but the busiest time is from January - May IF it happens this year.  June - September is not bad so I hate to walk from the good time because of the potential of making good money.  The 1st of April I could put a sign up selling the store and by June it may be sold.  I was going to do it this last weekend but my business mentor advised against it. He said you want to sell when business looks good and is about to drop.  I don't understand this theory because as soon as they look at the financial they will see what I am doing.  If I can see it I know a good businessman can too.

I have a pending legal issues that needs to be solved (not me being pursued).  It kind of fell into my lap but it appears it will be worth the effort.

My two girls graduate in May; 1 with a bachelors and 1 with a Phd.  Someone of this forum said f**k them you've done your job and it is time to live for yourself. All though I understand how they feel, I have invested too much into this to take that attitude. They have let me know that they need me there at their graduation.

I have a son entering the Air Force and should finish boot camp hopefully close to the time the girls graduate. He is waiting for a job before her enters.

I have worked for this moment for 25 years. I will not fritter it away so quickly.  Would I like to?  Yes and No.  I want to have my cake and eat it too.

I know waaa...  waaaa...  waaaa... but there is too much going on to walk away from and again Peggy agrees with me.

IF we can make it to June I think we will have the best kind of relationship.  If not?  Well then I guess she was not the one.

So I will endure and look for ways to make it happen sooner.

Maxx,

She is taking more heat than you will know.  She woke up this morning unhappy.  It kills me to hear that.  It makes me unhappy that I have to look at her on a 4 inch window when I really want to hold her.

I think her sister is pushing her to push me and is pushing her to move to the US.  We talked for a while about it.  she was so upset she said goodbye and signed out.

I am handling it the only way I know how.  Trying to be funny all of the time.

I wish they would leave her alone and let things progress naturally.

Shaun


Shaun my friend, go visit and just the two of you go for a walk and talk things out, if there is love there, she will climb mountians for you and the pressure is released and you don't have to try to be funny, you already are, just be yourself.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2009, 01:49:30 am by rockycoon »

Offline maxx

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #58 on: November 25, 2009, 01:59:15 am »
Shaun I know me and Jim are beating you like a dead horse over this.But I really think you do need to do something before May or June.I'm not telling you to kick your kids to the curb.Or to piss away that retirement.That's just foolish talk.

What I'm thinking is maybe just go to China for a week or 2. In December you do have a couple of weeks off in December right.Have your girls and your boy run the store for those 2 weeks.Tell them the truth.You just want to go on vacation.

What we are trying to do here is get you to go.While the fire is still hot.If you hit this when it is still hot.It shows Peggy that you don't want just a pen pal.It shows her that you are not just somebody who says something.But never does it.It also gets the what ifs out of the way.What if there is no physical attraction.What if you to rub each other the wrong way.I don't want to see you go down the same path you went down before with the other girl.All that time and effort wasted.

All the time i have ben on these forums.Ive only seen one of these relationships work.Where the man talked to the women for more then 6 months.I really don't know if it is going to work.He hasn't got the ring on her finger yet or started the visa process.The reason I think that it doesn't work talking for six months or longer is because I have not seen it work.And I have seen where promises were made.Promises were broke.And after a while.It gets to the point.Where one person doesn't believe in the other anymore.

It also gets you some experience with international travel.And gets you some experience in China.Before you make a life changing decision.Contrary to popular belief on this forum.Living in China is not for everybody.You really do need to leave yourself a way out if China isn't for you.

All of this can be accomplished for less than 3,00.00 Air,hotel,passport visa,walking around money.If you need help putting something like this together that quick.There is close to 300 members here I'm sure we can come up with the answers.

brett

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RE: When You know it is just right
« Reply #59 on: November 25, 2009, 03:37:04 am »
Yes shaun - go and visit her!!! Although I'll add that airfares are much cheaper in January! I don't know if they get expensive around Chinese new year though.