When You know it is just right

[RobertBfrom aust]

I think it amazing , what I said in post 27 and now we are up to post 69 [ hhmmm an interesting number ] and everyone is telling Shaun to move his butt , if you are afraid of flying , it will take a hell of a lot longer by boat , regards Ying and Robert .

[Brian Mc]

Greetings Brothers,

Shaun, you are getting a lot of good advice here from the guys.

You know I did exactly what you are aching to do and so far its working extremely well for me.  I gave up mu life in Canada to be with Zhen and she gave up her life and job ih Handan to move to Wuhu with me.  We are teh happiest two people on teh planet.  

Now, having said that you cannot through away the family you have raised all their life and if you are close to a pension its nuts to throw that away also.  However you are in a bit of a pickle, because teh brother in law and sister will hammer on your lady until you put up or shut up.

So my suggestions are these.  First , as the guys say if you can go for even one week and make sure you two click that will ease her mind, your mind, and force the in laws to back off.

Second if you can go then make the arrangements, tell your lady and then tell the sister and brother to butt out and let you two work things out together.  If they love her and respect you they should at least give you the chance to do or do not.

From teh sounds of things you have too much invested in your present life to throw it all away.  I was lucky I met Zhen as I was getting divorced and my situation made it easy to bail for a few years.  I have the funds in the bank such that if it failed I could return to Canada and still carry on with nothing but a few bucks poorer and a bruised ego.  Also keep in mind that my plan all along is to return to Canada with Zhen in a couple of years.  At that time  could start pulling pensions ad still work to help us get on our feet faster.  You would be foolish to throw away any pensions and your previous life in pursuit of something that you havent proven to be real yet.

If you cannot go then you still need the family to get the hell out of your relationship and so you need to explain things to them just enough to get them to cut you some slack. If you can get them to help you work it out so much the better.  If they are in the US perhaps see if you can go visit them if you cannot get to china.  A good face to face with them may swing things in your favour. Then visit your lady as soon as you are able.

Anyway I hope this long ramble has something you can use , and I sure bet you never expected to hear me say to stay there and not throw everything away.  However even I manage to use my head for something other than a hatrack sometimes.

As for selling the material things well thats easy, they are just things, they wont cook you supper , look after you when you are sick or old and they sure as hell will never love you like she will.

Sincerely,

Zhen and brian

[shaun]

OK, OK, OK, OK,

I hear all of you.  Believe me I want to go.  Now I think Peggy is telling me with her unhappiness that I need to go.

I am disappearing for a while.  I will try to pull it together and go.  Sell sell sell.   $3000.00 in in three weeks.  I will pop up when I am not listing, shipping, and talking with Peggy, but I will be here a little less.  Any of you ebayers out there watch for goodstewardworld as I sell.

Shaun

[Vince G]

Shaun you'll have to make your own plan with what you want in the time you need. Nothings going to work out well unless you do.

I for one wouldn't make plans to move to China without ever being there. To many "what if's". Depending on the store income, operations and ownership there is such a thing as leasing the business. Just a thought, and to show there's always a way. As for her taking lip from her sister? Something has to be done with this by one or both. Your not kids that have to listen to it. Make plans and stick to it. And don't miss the graduations and such. You'll regret it.

So if possible take a visit? and work things out from there.

[shaun]

Vince,

I agree.  There are too many questions to pickup and move there. I thought about it but could not push myself to do it.  So I will try to get enough together to go in a little over three weeks.  Gotta lot of work to do.  If don't make it I'll be there the first of April. If everything looks good when I get back and can finish my business here and move this summer.

Shaun

[Vince G]

BB I hope you meant escort or gigolo and not prostitute? He would be on the wrong forum to be this? :icon_biggrin:

[shaun]

Biggie,

What I was trying to say was, I will try to go to China the last 2 weeks in December. Work my butt off. If that didn't work the next opportunity would be the first week in April. Can't do anything in between w/o being fired. School systems seem nice on the outside but once you are in they are ruthless.

I told Peggy about December and April and man you should have seen the look on her face and the excitement she expressed.  She never even read the April part.  Then when I brought it up again she said "What?"  I told her to re-read.  She did and said "OH... I see."  But we talked it out and I think we are OK.  I debated whether I should tell her April first and mention December later but I though if December works out she needed to know now to prepare.  Well, what is done is done.

Jim, the only thing I can peddle in Augusta Georgia is a bicycle.  Don't get me wrong, you can get it if you want it, but you are likely to get your throat slit at the same time. Now if you want a girl-boy there are plenty of those coming over from South Carolina and there is no way I'll pass for that or would even want to pass for that. Blyech!!!

My basic problem since the divorce is that I've got too many assets and not enough cashsets.  Today I made a dent in listing some of what I need to sell.  Some of it will appear on ebay on Sunday.  I've got a few things on Craigslist now. I will call one of my bankers about loaning me some, possibly with one of my 401's as collateral.  Don't know if they will.  I have never tried.

This afternoon I find my passport and see that it has expired so I run to the post office to find out what I should do.  They are closed.  I get a passport packet and all I have to do is send my old on in with new pictures. Great. There is a photo studio next door to my store. Even better. My Avitar was taken there. Call the 800 number and it will take 6 weeks. #$)(&*% Friday I will call the office in Atlanta and see if I can get it done quicker there. I'm hoping.

Just got off the web cam with Peggy and she is disappointed but hopeful.  The tone is very different now. She is happy even with the visa issue.  She wants to start her own business and she asked me what I thought. Key factor; she asked. Before every could of days she would tell me she wants starting a business in January.  She has already made a huge leap to a deeper relationship.

Thanks for all of the encouragement.  Now to get this passport and visa issue settled.

Shaun

[brett]

Shaun - this is slightly off topic but if you have stuff to sell try stashing it on Amazon rather than eBay. The stuff stays on there until it sells, the fees are lower and it can be a great place to sell DVD box sets, books, games, toys, camera equipment and other stuff.

[shaun]

Not had much luck on Amazon.  I find eBay works well for me.  They type stuff as you put it will be stashed on half.com and in my ebay store. Craigslist is also a preference.  I advertise my store there.

[shaun]

The last few days have been up and down.  Peggy and I have been talking about me going there, looking at starting an export business to America, and many other subjects.  There are too many to list. I mentioned about being grilled by the sister and the brother-in-law.  Well the sister got back and and we had a long talk.  

The upshot of the whole deal was that they were concerned that I was taking advantage of Peggy to make contacts to start an export business.  I was shocked but at the same time I could understand why they were concerned so I told Peggy's sister that Peggy was the most important issue to me and that I would not speak of business anymore until I had been to Shenzhen and we made sure this was a relationship worth pursuing through marriage.

Then some of you guys started riding my butt :icon_cheesygrin: about going in December.  So I committed and then discovered that my passport has expired.  Monday I will call the passport agency in Atlanta and see if I can get it reduced from 6 weeks to 1 day by going there and walking it though.  Then I will find out about the visa.  So how do I break this info to Peggy?  Well, tell the truth and tell her that if December falls through I will definately be there the first week in April.  She didn't like it but understood.

But then, all of a sudden after telling me all of this time she wanted to stay in China, she starts asking questions about the US and I answer them.  I ask her why the interest in The US?  She tells me that she now wants to move to the US.  :icon_biggrin: We talk about that for a while.  I get the general, What will I for work?  I do not speak English well. I do not want to cause you stress.  Will your children like me?  

So then last night she tells me she does not have a lot of time to talk as she is going to the Import and Export office to get information for me.  :icon_surprised: Man was I surprised. I didn't even ask.  Gotta love that gal.

Just spent 3 hours talking with her in the middle of this letter.  I got to get my butt to Shenzhen ASAP. :icon_wink:

Fellas, if I can work it out I will stay with her until we get visa if all of this works out once I get there.  It is kind of hard to see it not working out at this point.  We talk so much on web cam I think I've got a pretty good idea about her character.  Man this is what the doctor ordered.

Calling Passport office for sure Monday.

Shaun

[maxx]

Shaun no worries about getting the passport renewed.Visa express can do it for you.For about 300.00 dollars.Everything included.Shipping government fees.It takes 8 to 12 days.You can get  the visa from the same company.Visa express is who I use.You can get it done in 24 hours.But that is going to cost you 300.00 dollars just for visa express's fee.And I'm sure the government adds a fee for the rush job.

If you go to the web site you can print out the forms you need.Fill them out then just fedex them.

[David5o]

Shaun,

As i think i mentioned before, if you do start an import/export business, there's nothing stopping Peggy getting business visa's to the states, so there's another bonus to think about. That will mean that she can visit the States on a fairly regular basis. I wouldn't mention the fact about any marriage plans in the offing when first applying, not until she has completed at least one round trip at least!! ...lol!!

Bonafide business visa's are a dammed site easier to acquire than any other type of visa to enter a foreign country, that's for sure....

David....

PS....  I'm not sure if the States, are anything like the UK, but in the UK you can go to the main passport office for your area, and providing you get there earlier enough, you walk away with a renewed passport in your grubby mitts in the afternoon. I've actually done this twice at the main Passport Office in London, and there's no extra charge either, ...well there wasn't when i last went this route. I'm pretty sure you will have a similar system, as they have to cater for emergency replacement passports etc,etc.....

[JimB]

Shaun, I went to the local Post office. Paid an extra $100 and had it in 10 days.  This was for a first passport also.  So make sure you check that out before going to the added expense.  I first had to make an appointment with the passport office though.  That took me a week.

[shaun]

Maxx David 5o,

Thanks for the info.  Friday when the I was not able to get the Atlanta phone number to answer I went to the post office.  They were closed too.  There was a man pounding on a door as I went in.  I found the paperwork I needed and checked the hours of the passport office.  As I was leaving a woman answered the door and went to get a package for the man pounding the door so I waited for her to return with his package.

I explained my situation to her about the passport.  She not only went to get the passport form for me but brought the appointment schedule book and wrote me in for Monday morning.

Jim,

Thank you for your info.  You answered some of the questions I had for the person at the Postal/Passport office.

Shaun

[shaun]

Well there are so many things to say here I am having difficulty in what I want to say.  Imagine that.  Having loss of some thing to say about anything.

Last night everything changed and then it changed even more this morning.  All for the better.  Peggy and I have been on the web cam way too much but I am loving it.  Last night for the first time she really messed with my mind.  Gave me a hard time... playing with me.  I loved it.   Then this morning for the first time we talked on the new version of Yahoo Messenger Voice. OMG!!!!!! Soft but confident, Alto, and very sexy voice. What can I say?

I went to the post office to see the passport dude. He told me that it will take 3 weeks because I will have to start over. If your passport has passed 15 years beyond the issue date you have to start over. I am at 17 years. He even showed me in print.  I told him I could not wait 3 weeks.  He said he could express it for a larger fee.  All I would gain is one day on either side.  He said the passport issuance facility was slammed right now. Then after I get it back I will have to send to Chinese Embassy.

I asked him about and expediter.  He said there was one here but he would want $400.00.  It would be one week.  So I ran out of time today and will call an expediter tomorrow.

More later, I guess,  Coming up next?  Peggy on the web and voice cam.  See ya,

Shaun