I think a little update is in order:
I'm going back in 2 days, I'll land in Hong Kong on Friday AM and will take a shuttle to SZ, easier this time, I'm in the same hotel around the corner from my sweetheart and I can actually walk the 100m from the shuttle to the hotel since I know the neighborhood from last time.
Unfortunately the relationship is a bit tense right now, I don't know if I'm going there to get to know her better or to break up, our last 2 days on QQ were a nightmare, she seems overly anxious and nervous . We only really spent 5-6 days together last time, very short in the end to start something stable I guess.
Two days ago I was looking forward to this last minute trip and she seemed excited like a little kitten, now I am neither here or there and I'm not entirely sure about what she feels. I normally don't care so much about money but this trip is pricey as I bought the ticket last minute (lucky I have an entry on my Visa left), and my business has been fairly slow the last 8 weeks. I'm also spending Xmas eve in a plane, and I will be with her for my birthday, of which she told me she might not be able to spend it with me because of some party. I'm trying not to regret it and also try to understand why she has all these opposed reactions. But maybe I'm finding too many excuses for her.
Some already commented on the "business arrangement" sounding deal, and unfortunately some of these topics arise when she is in a crisis, so I will try to set things straight when we're face to face. Another thing that's hard to take is when she is upset, the stuff she says can hurt like hell, she seems to fire at gunpoint without hesitation. I'm not a rookie as far as relationships go bt I've never experienced this first hand. One of my female friends seems to be like that in her love life, but I still find it strange that someone could be hurtful towards a loved one. Occasionally she throws in that she might not be good enough for me, so she seems to have many doubts and issues, some are legit of course.
I'd love to hear the brotherhood's input, and I'll be sure to post an update as things progress in Shenzhen.
Cheers,
Frank