I post this and will make no comment as I found the advice to very true in many respects.
Willy
• Casual dating as we know it in the West does not exist in China. Although this is slowly changing in highly Westernized cities such as Shanghai and Beijing, most girls in China do not believe in serial casual dating. In a current study of dating and marital preferences among young adults in China, only 38 percent of the female respondents disagreed with the statement that it is best to date and later marry only one man during their lifetimes. Consequently, for the majority of Chinese girls you will meet, a second or third meeting (date) will indicate to them a serious intention on your part of, at the very least, mutual exclusivity or perhaps even marriage.
• If the girl explicitly tells you that she "really likes" (w? h?n x?huan n?), "loves" (w? ài n?), or "misses" you (w? xi?ng n?), you need to keep in mind that these words have a far greater and significant meaning in China than they do in the West. When a Chinese girl expresses these sentiments to you or displays any type of physical affection at all, it typically means that she has already "chosen" you as a future spouse.
• Virginity still means something in China, even though it presently has little meaning in our respective Western countries. In our current study of dating and marital preferences, 83 percent of the female participants, ranging in age from 16- to 28-years old, were still virgins, and age only accounted for about 6 percent of the variance in virginity (ibid). Unless you are quite serious about the girl, or you know for a fact that she is only interested in a "friend with benefits," it is wise to avoid any physical intimacy with her. By all means, you need to be entirely honest about your intentions from the very start in order to avoid misunderstandings or worse.
• Much to your surprise, and, paradoxically perhaps (in light of the relative importance of virginity at marriage), you will find that many girls are actually eager to sleep with you on the second or third date (in fact, they are often the ones to initiate it), but you should exercise extreme caution in how that apparent sexual aggressiveness is interpreted: For most "good" Chinese girls, an offer of sex is almost always a gesture of good faith in contemplation of marriage. It's intended to be a binding dealmaker and that is how it should be responded to, one way or the other. Above all, always be honest about your intentions—whatever those may be.
• A sure-fire way to confirm that the girl is quite serious about you is if you learn that she has spoken to her mother about you. As a rule, girls will not discuss any man they are seeing (not even with their girlfriends) unless they have decided that this is the person they want to be with. Related, if the girl invites you to meet her family, this is symbolically equivalent to a formal announcement of engagement in the West. It would be best not to agree to meet her family unless you have marriage in mind.
• In China, meeting the girl's parents is tantamount to an announcement of engagement in the West. Unless you are seriously considering marriage to this girl, do NOT agree to meet her parents.
