Chengdu....The story begins...... !!!

[ttwjr32]

sounds like a wonderful trip this time nice to hear that and the pics are nice

[Martin]

Great trip log David.  It was a pleasure to read.  Thanks for the nice pictures as well.

[Arnold]

Excellent read and Photo's David . It took long enough and many Trips for you , but it finally paid off .. not just for you but also for Ming .
Funny too , you mentioning going Shopping with these wonderful Women . Just today , Qing drove us to a Store for some Make-up and other Ladies stuff . So what happens , I find myself looking in the Nail Polish Isle and picking Polish for her . After I  bring her some I liked .. she say's .. " You are a good shopper " . Of course I ate this up with a big smile . I find myself loving to be with her , even through this .. for some Men would be punishment . It's just being with / near them is like Heaven . So I know how you feel at this point in the Relationship . Some things are Priceless .

[Rhonald]

We have made plans to be married in China on my Birthday...June 8th, but she is stil getting opinions from the Witch Doctors about what is the most auspicious Day !!

Hey June 8th is the same birthdate as my son Craig. Great men sharring same days :fi_lone_ranger:

Thanks for sharring the pictures of your last trip. I bet your heart did sing a pouring song of Love - once so poor but now enriched :heart:

[ttwjr32]

maybe the title should read now------ "chengdu- the story continues"

 Arnold-- just dont start using it lol!!!!!!!!!

[David E]

Episode 15 !!!...the countdown begins

Life is good these days, we chat away on QQ every day, her English improves dramatically now, she has got the basics and the structure and we can get into some interesting debates about words, meanings and grammar. Got stuck a bit today trying to explain the difference between Ache, Sore and Pain !!! But it all turned into a big laugh anyway because "a pain in the a#$" transcends all translation logic !!!

She has mastered "she'll be right"...."no worries"...."see ya cobber" and a lot of "Australianisms", but I must admit they sound strange with a Chinese accent, but so very cute !!

Wedding plans for 8th June are in progress, got the venue fixed, the photographer and cars organised , she has ordered her dress (a Chongsam actually) and we are haggling about the menu and the booze Department    ...I'm a bit worried about the roast Frog, but I am told it is an essential part of a Wedding feast !! We have to have 18 courses so I am told...but I put my foot down and banned roast scorpion 

We are both working hard on my speech to the multitude of family and friends, which I dearly want to deliver in flawless Chinese !!!!....she is a tough Teacher and she wont let me loose with Chinese words unless it is perfect !!

For general information, it looks like the Wedding will cost about 45,000 RMB, that is for 60 guests and includes everything except the aforementioned booze !! We have decided to give Mum and Dad 5000 RMB as a special gift even though it is not really necessary for her second Marriage, but we both think it is a nice gesture...they dont have a lot of money and they can always use a bit of help there.

So for those of you thinking about a wedding and about the cost, we are at about 800RMB per person, and we havent cheapskated it. Our Wedding Dinner is at the Shangri-La hotel which is 5 star !! I am sure we could have spent much, much more than this, as witness some of the figures that have been bandied around in other threads, but we will have the Wedding we want for this sort of money. Just thought it would be of interest to prospective Grooms here to have an idea of real costs for a "normal" wedding.

I will update info as things evolve (and knowing my Ming, as things change !!!)
David

[Arnold]

So David , you'll have my 14 Course Dinner topped . I also practiced my Chinese Speach before-hand , but at the last moment gavbe up on it and Qing took over the Microphone to spare me embarassment . It's one thing to talk in front of your Lady , but another in front of a Croud . Anyway good luck with it and remember if Mama is in the Speach it's the first sound . hahaha

[David E]

I hear what you say Arnold !!

It was my idea to deliver a speech in Chinese and Ming was a bit sceptical about it...she did not wish me to look a goose in front of all these people. But I am determined to do it. I know she will hammer away at me to either get it exactly right or give it away !!

I dont know about the courses for the meal, I just go with the flow and do as I am told....if she said 25 courses, I guess I would just have to go along with it, but at least I get to choose part of it. I think a meat pie with peas and chips could be included somewhere...just to add an Aussie flavour to the proceedings (NOT !!!) 

I am learning pretty fast, that these Ladies have a very firm idea of what is needed for these occaisions, Ming, Mother and Sister are tearing about doing everything, and doing it well I might add. So I just relax, pay the bills and go along for the ride !!

They truly are powerhouses of energy and application, nothing will be left to chance, everything will be organised to within an inch of its life (including me ). What a nice place to be in 

David

[Arnold]

I am learning pretty fast, that these Ladies have a very firm idea of what is needed for these occaisions, Ming, Mother and Sister are tearing about doing everything, and doing it well I might add. So I just relax, pay the bills and go along for the ride !!

They truly are powerhouses of energy and application, nothing will be left to chance, everything will be organised to within an inch of its life (including me ). What a nice place to be in 
David

Oh yeah ... one of those lovely qualities these Lady's have . Go along for the Ride , thats what I did in China .. but here she is following me and let's me do all the planning outside of the House that is . I can't complain about that .

[David E]

Just when you think you have got everything fixed and running smoothly...watch some Bas$$$d come along and stuff it up !!!

As a very sobering lesson about language and the traps of translation, I can tell you all that I just survived a disaster by the skin of my teeth !!

Eternal thanks to Maxx for the 24 hour rule...saved my life.

Ming was very keen to have a gorgeous Cheongsam specially made for her as her wedding dress...I endorsed this 100%, because if anybody ever made anything more sexy and at the same time, elegant, for a woman to wear...then I havent seen it !!

I sent over a fair bit of money to pay for this "creation" and left her to it.

She mentioned on QQ some days later that her Sister thought that a gold bracelet was needed to complete this ensemble...and that her Sister would buy it....and what did I think about that.

Very nice, I thought, hooray for Sister, what a nice guesture and yes, that would be great !! (a bit of relief for my shell-shocked credit card )

2 days later I got hit with...sorry Honey, the bracelet was more than we thought, can you send some more money" ??

I almost exploded....and then took a deep breath and said I would work it all out tomorrow.
What had happened was a simple translation error on my part...I heard "My Sister will buy it" and assumed that meant "My Sister will pay for it"....wrong !!!!

After waiting the mandatory 24 hours, we sorted it all out....Sister got involved in the actual purchase because Ming has almost no jewellery and was very nervous about going to buy anything in gold...she worries she would get ripped off and end up with something very inferior...so she sent Sister off to do the deed.

Had I given in to my basic instinct and ripped into her for being a gold-digger and spending my money recklessly, I would have stepped right into a pile of you-know-what and possibly offended this lady beyond imagination. As it was, she had tried very hard to get my approval and permission BEFORE making a purchase...and of course, it was always my option to say no, had I properly understood what she was telling me in the first place.

I can only begin to imagine how hurt and shocked she would have been if I had got hostile about it all.

Just a small story that demonstrates the value of waiting for 24 hours !!...and demonstrates that you can never relax too much with translation asumptions.
David

[shaun]

Good.  David.  It just shows how easy it is to get everything all messed up because if simple translation issues.   The 24 hour rule has its purpose and is well served.

[Chong]

She mentioned on QQ some days later that her Sister thought that a gold bracelet was needed to complete this ensemble...and that her Sister would buy it....and what did I think about that.

As all the married men will state, there's no shortage of gold jewellery on the wedding day. My wife was given gold rings, bracelets and necklaces from her relatives.

It's after the fact ... but I would have asked if Ming was going to get similiar gifts from her relatives ... then there would be no need to buy the bracelet. However, I would have assumed also that her sister was going to pay for the bracelet based on the dialogue.

[Lee357]

this type of communication error gets me in trouble sometimes too. My lady leaves out many key things in what she says to me. leaving me thinking one thing and her meaning something totally different. I do not think it is a translation error though, I think it is better to accept and learn that it is a difference in communication styles. English or Western countries tend to communicate all the information pertinent to the conversation. The Chinese or eastern custom is to only communicate the high points. leaving the other person to infer the meaning. This works fine in person when you are privy to all the side conversations. It does not work very well for understanding from thousands of miles away. I am fluent in mandarin and I still repeat what i think my lady is asking me, anytime she asks if i agree. In this conversation I would have repeated " so your sister is going to pay for the jewelry?" notice framed in a question. I have found at least with my lady that it enables her to freely respond that I am not to smart and no her sister is not going to pay for it and she is only going to go pick out the jewelry for her. This is once again only my take on communication with my lady and applying it to your situation. I am probably way off. I am used to that. lol.

[maxx]

David I think you handeld that extremely well.I know when you get hit in the head with something like this it is extremely difficult.To remember the 24 hour rule.This can also teach us a lesson about listening real close to what are fiancee and wives are trying to tell us.I cant count the number of times.I have run into these kind of communication problems with my wife.My wife will say something.And I will think she is saying something else.

There is some good that can come out of this.The more time you and your fiancee spend together the more you two will.Get to know each other and understand each other.I have ben with my wife  long enough now.That nine out of ten times.I can understand what my wife is trying to tell me.The first time.And we avoid allot of these kind of situations.Don't get me wrong it took a while for us to get to this point.With allot of bends and twists in the road.

Chong I'm thinking the wearing of the gold during the pictures and the Wedding ceremony.Is a regional custom.My wife didn't wear any gold.At are wedding party.And the two other weddings I have ben to in Janxia province.None of the brides wore gold.They even all went as far as taking off there buddha necklaces.My wife beleaves that only older ladies wear yellow gold.For my mother in laws 60th birthday.We bought her a gold ring.My wife's engagement ring and wedding band.And my ring are all made of white gold.My wife thinks that is the only acceptable gold any women or man should wear who is under sixty years old.

[David E]

Hi All

If you have been through the nightmare of Chinese drivers (especially women !!!) as I have....then imagine the damage they can do if they were in charge of something really big on the road.

Just to prove I have nerves of steel, here is a photo of me as a passenger being driven by Ming...ON AN ELEPHANT !!!!!!

I dont think there is a palm tree left standing in Phuket..and the Thais all ran for cover, and as far as I know they are still running