No probs Danny....I'd better fill in the blank bits about the Surgeon.
When she realised that it would mean a complete re-qualification process before she could do Plastic Surgery work in Aus....8 years !!, she decided it would be best if I came to China to live.
I dont want to live in China, I never even suggested that this was an option all through the relationship. Maybe that is a selfish view of the future on my part, but I never said or even hinted that it would be an option.
From that point of "learning", it went slowly downhill for both of us.
"not with a bang...but a whimper " !!!
Cheers
David
Thanks for the update on this.
It is sometimes good to compare one's experience with another.
When I was my dear woman in Zhuhai she told me that I was a good man and that she loved me dearly, but there were many reasons why she could not come with me to live in Australia. Part of it was that she would have had to leave her twelve year son behind and the other part was having her medical qualifications recognised.
I can remember when she told me this. I didn't even attempt to persuade her. There are ways of persuading people, to make them do what they do not wish to do. But I did not have the heart to do this. I saw that all the reasons she had for not going were good ones. It is a big risk to throw up everything she had, for life with me. It is something she had to decide for herself.
The one thing I think about in this relationship, setting aside a few small misunderstandings, I always treated her as well as I was able: with love and honour and respect. I think back fondly of her and will always wonder how life might have been with her.
I sometimes wondered, after my dear woman in Zhuhai left me back in September, whether you had had any more success. I thought to myself that David E has probably worked this all out and he is probably in her arms at this moment. If it wasn't for my own stupidity I could have persuaded her somehow.
Well between the two of us we didn't manage it.
I think there is something to be said (if one is ever in the position of having to start again, from scratch) for choosing someone who has a dream to emigrate, for whatever reason. Without this strong desire to go, it is hard for people who are successful and happy to take that jump.
Best luck for your new relationship!
Danny
Danny
It seems we both came to the same conclusion....to "persuade" someone to do something that they are not comfortable is a dangerous play. Reality must eventually bite and one or the other is going to be disadvantaged...not what I want for my future relationship...and you either.
By now you are in the arms of your lady, so you are well ahead of me....but I'll get there soon !!!!...I am sure you can look forward to a wonderful Xmas and New Year.
so....here is an update on the David/Ming story, although I have nothing dramatic or earth-shattering to report :icon_cheesygrin:
We continue to QQ every day, from somewhere between 2 and 3 hours.
Never once has she been late, and even when she comes home late from work and is tired, she still is as happy and cheerful as ever. We talk about everything under the sun now, I am very impressed as to how quickly she develops better English. I am sure that it is the situation of trust, familiarity and comfort with me and my words that enable her to learn quickly and to begin to remember many words from her school days.
Big Sister pops up from time to time and says hello, but Ming is rapidly overtaking her in the English department !! Funny, whenever Sis comes on the chat, she always has some deep and meaningful question......about my work, about my divorce, about my financial situation. It seems that there is a small conspiracy afoot, the family must sit around thinking about tricky questions and Sis is chosen to ask them....Ming meanwhile keeps out of the firing line !!!...its all very clever and I am happy to enter the spirit of the whole process.
We keep away from the "love" bit, because I have told her that i would never speak these words unless it was face-to-face , but I am sure I have convinced her that I am not fooling about here.
Our countdown clock is running and Feb 10th will come around very quickly. By this time, with my coaching, her lessons and squillions of hours on QQ I am sure we will have a reasonable level of verbal communication. As for the non-verbal part...I dont got any problems with that...period !!!!
I still remain somewhat bewildred as to how such a woman came into my life...and I never want to take it for granted...as Shaun once said "when it happens...you just know it is right"
Cheers all from a very happy...
DavidE
