Trip summary of my time in China.
Was going to a day by day posting while in China, but quickly ran out of interest in the internet and was spending quality time with my lady and her family. Since I am not the entertaining writer as Rhonald, did not have the drama of a step-daughter like Jim, I do not recall meeting or talking with any Lings (Ronan are you sure that there are Lings in China), not the drama of agency and country issues that helped Mike keep us entertained, did not have the dumpling stories as Arnold, and well I was up North so no Willy stories. So will just give an overview of my trip and maybe help someone who is going to China one day. Had the laundry in the bathroom in the five star hotels, more and different kinds of food than I can even begin to describe, the air in Beijing was so thick that you could not breath but had to take bites and chew the air before consumption, taxi rides were interesting (not even as scary as Lima Peru), bus, train and subway were all packed but a fun way of travel. All in all if you have read the other stories, mine is very much the same except that it is a love story of XiuRu and myself. Except for my one claim to fame in this post. In all my reading I think that I am the first to receive a pair of custom-made wool long-handle underwear from a Buddhist nun.
We were in the northern city of ShenYang and out shopping for tea sets for my daughters. During our shopping, we stopped by this out of the way teashop and during the course of our stay, we were invited to have tea. I had never seen the way that they make the tea and was watching them trying to learn. A few minutes later the lady said that her friend spoke very good English and wanted to see us if we could wait a few minutes. I was having a very good time and not rushed for time, so we stayed. A few minutes later we met the ‘high teacher’ of a local school and she was also the English teacher as well. We spoke for a few minutes and then she took my lady and I out to the shops to see what we were looking at. I was deposited back in the teashop and the owner and the two ladies went out shopping and got the owners discount on all products. While we were leaving Gao asked if we wanted to meet her sister before lunch. So we all got a cab and got out at a local Buddhist temple. It was very cold and windy but my lady picked out some incense to bless our happy union. While waiting a nun came up and asked me which was my belief, Christian or Buddhism? In all my preparation, I had not considered this question. My answer was that I was most familiar with Christian as my father was a minister. I then went on to say if you are asking my belief then I truly believe that if one is a true Christian, is a devote follower of Buddha, and is pure in spirit like the native American, then their reward will be equal in the next life. Her response was that it was her belief as well and we were invited to enter the temple. After we sat thru a ceremony that was given for a family who lost their son/husband/father, we then went out to eat. After a very good meal, we then went back to the temple and had tea with the “master” (mother superior) nun. During this time I crossed my legs. From the sounds the ladies made, I thought that I had committed an unforgivable error. My next thought was that they were just surprised to see hairy legs as they were pulling up my pant leg and pulling down my socks. Then it became apparent that the problem was that I was not wearing long underwear. The fact that I have never worn long underwear did not concern them, it was decided that I was in grave danger of great illness unless I had this problem solved very soon. So then the three ladies got out a tape measure and there the nun, high teacher, and my lady in the back room of a Buddhist temple were measuring me. Never saw this in any tourist brochure. After several minutes on the phone, it was decided that I would have the new clothes delivered the next day. Well the next day was XiuRu’s birthday. We met her younger brother and his wife as well as other friends and our new best friends, the nun and teacher. We had a very good meal and after we got done, there was a knock on the door and the nun got a package. It seems the underwear had arrived. Custom made overnight. I thanked them and was going to put them in my luggage, as we were getting ready to leave town for my lady’s hometown of Anshan. The thought crossed my mind that they just might feel the need for me to put them on and no sooner had my mind had that thought, well they all left the room and told me to put on the wool underwear. So I put on the underwear, got dressed and opened the door. Since I had the only camera, there are no pictures of what happened next, (and never will be) it seems that the ladies had to make sure the underwear fit. So surrounded by my lady, my new soon to be sister-in-law, the nun, the teacher, the young servers packing leftovers, my trousers were at my ankles and they were admiring my new gray long underwear. I thought that this would be the end of the story, but oh no. When we got to her Aunt’s home a couple of days later, it was decided that I need some elastic bands in the upper portion of the long underwear. It seems that the tailor who made them did not have the proper elastic when she made them. So in comes my lady, my soon to be sister-in-laws (2 new ones), the maid that cooks for the family, and my ladies best friend. Pants around the feet, loud discussion about which elastic band to use, and laugher about the amount of elastic band needed was and is the final chapter to this unbelievable gift.
I met with an immigration lawyer today to get started on the K-1 finance visa. I will return in May for another visit and then later in the year when we get a time for the interview. When I set my expectations for my trip to China they were very simple. I wanted to see certain points of interest, eat peiking duck, and see if XiuRu and I were possibly more than friends. In my wildest dreams I never expected to be blown away by such a lovely lady. I realize that for the first part of the trip I was being interviewed by family and friends to see if I was worthy of XiuRu. After the third day, word went out that I was OK OK. From there on the trip was more relaxed and we had time to get to know and understand one another better. When we got to her hometown of Anshan, we met her most trusted and closest friends. During a lunch that lasted 3 hours it became apparent to me that this couple had veto power over our relationship. After two hours the husband came over to me, gave me the thumbs up and we toasted our friendship and XiuRu’s future with me as her husband. Had this not happened, I am sure that I would have come in second in a two horse race and would have left China very sad and disappointed. The next night we met the friends again for a final night in China. About 30 minutes into the meal the friend’s wife looked at me and asked “what was the relationship with you e-wife, why are you divorced, what are your children’s thoughts about you being in China”. The room got very quiet and for the next 15 minutes I spoke directly with the lady and explained that I had always been attracted to Asian Ladies, had planned on marrying a Japanese lady when I was in Japan, but that my parents and grand-parents forbid me to marry outside of America. So due to family pressure I married whom my parents had decided, but we did not love one another. Since my father died in 2000 and my mother died in February of 2009, I then asked my children for their blessing of following my desire and finding an Asian lady to marry. I then went on to say that I did not understand how I was able to meet XiuRu, but that I had found a very special lady and was not about to let her out of my life. She then got up and toasted XiuRu and myself and gave her blessing. That was the final piece that gave my lady piece in her heart.
I guess the thing that I learned the most was just be yourself. Her family and friends all have an idea of who I am but they will always be watching. Never once did I feel out of place or in danger. Respect the people, respect the culture, and never ask your lady to do something you are not willing to do yourself. My lady needs to know that we will spend some time in China every year. I am like Jim in this respect, I cannot move to China and spend the rest of my days there. I also understand that XiuRu cannot move to America and visit China very infrequently. My new sister in law and I came across an idea to import items into china that we think will provide an income. There are many possibilities out there; it is just necessary to keep your mind open, your eyes open, and your mouth shut more. I cannot wait to get back to XiuRu. Will keep busy with Visa paperwork, learning Chinese, and teaching her English. Time-Warner has an international calling program for $20 you can talk 3000 minutes each month to China. Lessons start Wednesday.
Pictures are: drawing given by 93 year old uncle (retired general), Friends with veto power in Anshan, new family in Anshan, new Brother and his wife in ShenYang, XiuRu's birthday lunch, Betty the translator agency 204, Agency 204 with Scott's friend on right, some where near Beijing, on the wall, my first and favorite photo of my lady, the grey long underwear, and the nun, teacher, XiuRu and new sister in law.
