Now ..now Buzz .. don't make it out to be THAT simple . But I'm happy you feel that way . Sometimes it's all downhill and your Lady is waiting at the bottom of the Street with open arms . Congrat's from both Qing and myself . Remember , any hill will sooner or later become straight and sometimes goes uphill again .. so take it all with patience and a smile on your face .. and you'll WIN . Even in Las Vegas .
Arnold, it really is that simple. I will share a few of my thoughts with the forum.
1: There are no secrets. The government wants to know all about your past history. They ask about past tax returns, past marriage, past jobs, past places you have lived. If you are going to be successful in the visa process, you have to understand that you are going to have to provide a lot of personal information to the government and their employees.
2: All the information needs to be the same. From the first form you submit to the last forms your lady takes in with her for the interview, it all has to match.
3: Positive proper attitude: If you think or have the idea that it is "us vs them" attitude, you will have a very difficult time. I told Xiuru that the people in the Embassy were working for us. That they wanted us to be successful in our marriage. That they want her to come to America and be with her new family. Xiuru went there with the attitude that it was already done, all we need was the visa. There was no fear, no resentment, just the belief that the person doing the interview was there to help her and I get married.
4: Get it the best you can at the very start: When I joined China Love, I was very specific on the type of lady I was seeking. Same age, similar occupation, no children, higher education, "simple elegance in appearance", beautiful smile. I found Xiuru; the only one I exchanged EMFs with. We built a relationship with our interpreter at agency 204, and Betty is still a very close friend. We exchange email to keep each other informed.
5: Go slow: Did not get married the first trip, did not talk of marriage the first trip. Started the K-1 visa in February thinking it would take 18 months to complete. I took Chinese lessons, she started English lessons. Video meetings twice a day. Second trip we talked of getting married, and started making plans.
6: Seek out support: I have a lawyer. I interviewed 9 lawyers before selecting mine. The first question I asked each was "how many visa from china have you done in the past year". My lawyer has three successful (now 4) in the pat 18 months. He is married to a lady from Korea, and does visas from Viet Nam, Korea, Thailand, and China. Trust those who have experience.
7: Focus on the relationship, let the lawyer focus on the process: When Xiuru would ask "why is this necessary". I would respond that our lawyer is very successful with this Embassy, he says we need it, so we will complete the task. This way we could work on our relationship, not get sidetracked by the process.
8: Keep in simple: Xiuru and I are not unique. Many people are going thru this process everyday. It is not rocket science, or brain surgery. Let the lawyer keep track of the details, you need to focus on the relationship. Be positive, not arrogant; there is a difference. Keep the focus on your love for each other, and the life you will share in your hometown.
9: Think ahead: Here in Greensboro, there is a Chinese Association. There are over 300 families that belong. I connected Xiuru up with a sponsor. They talk by email. Xiuru knows that there are other Chinese people here in her new hometown, and she has made some new friends. We have phone service to China, she can call daily as she desires, email, and video conference as she desires. Make sure you have a support system in place for her when she arrives.
10: Keep your promises: If you promise, you must preform.
So Arnold, it is very simple, life is full of stuff that can put a strain on any relationship. the secret is knowing the priorties you have in life, and to make sure the lady you are marrying has the same priorities. Will we have smooth even road ahead, of course not. But we will be together, and together we can accomplish anthing.
After all we managed to fall in love 8000 miles apart. Imagine what we can do when we are in the same zip code.
Very simple. buzz.
