Author Topic: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story  (Read 29109 times)

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Offline RobertBfrom aust

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #30 on: August 19, 2010, 06:57:25 am »
That is great news for you both , regards Sujuan and Robert .
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
My QQ is   1994376895
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ttwjr32

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #31 on: August 19, 2010, 07:50:04 am »
Buzz,

after talking thru emf's here to you and also speaking on the phone to you and your lady you do know

my heartfelt congratulations go out to the two of you. many many many happy years ahead

once again  CONGRATULATIONS MY FREIND     

Sincerely
Ted

Offline kenny

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #32 on: August 19, 2010, 08:20:48 am »
Congratulations to you both and many happy years together.

Seems like allot of sucess story's latley, we must be living right.

Offline Rhonald

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #33 on: August 19, 2010, 10:35:55 am »
And who says a love story can not be simple? Sigh.........man that was fast. But I guess when cupid finds his mark, man the rest is his story told from the heart. Best wishes on your heart felt journey.

 :o<-----=
« Last Edit: August 19, 2010, 10:40:46 am by Rhonald »
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Offline maxx

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #34 on: August 19, 2010, 06:16:53 pm »
congradulations.Best wishes to you and your lovely lady.

Arnold

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #35 on: August 20, 2010, 12:44:44 am »
Now ..now Buzz .. don't make it out to be THAT simple . But I'm happy you feel that way . Sometimes it's all downhill and your Lady is waiting at the bottom of the Street with open arms . Congrat's from both Qing and myself . Remember , any hill will sooner or later become straight and sometimes goes uphill again .. so take it all with patience and a smile on your face .. and you'll WIN . Even in Las Vegas .

Offline Josh Markley

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #36 on: August 20, 2010, 02:38:05 pm »
Buzz,

  Thank you for sharing your story with us.  It is stories like this that keep my dream alive.  Congrats to you both!
麥杰德
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Offline Buzz

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #37 on: August 20, 2010, 11:00:53 pm »
Now ..now Buzz .. don't make it out to be THAT simple . But I'm happy you feel that way . Sometimes it's all downhill and your Lady is waiting at the bottom of the Street with open arms . Congrat's from both Qing and myself . Remember , any hill will sooner or later become straight and sometimes goes uphill again .. so take it all with patience and a smile on your face .. and you'll WIN . Even in Las Vegas .

Arnold, it really is that simple.  I will share a few of my thoughts with the forum. 

1:  There are no secrets.  The government wants to know all about your past history.  They ask about past tax returns, past marriage, past jobs, past places you have lived.  If you are going to be successful in the visa process, you have to understand that you are going to have to provide a lot of personal information to the government and their employees.

2:  All the information needs to be the same.  From the first form you submit to the last forms your lady takes in with her for the interview,  it all has to match. 

3:  Positive proper attitude:  If you think or have the idea that it is "us vs them" attitude, you will have a very difficult time.  I told Xiuru that the people in the Embassy were working for us.  That they wanted us to be successful in our marriage.  That they want her to come to America and be with her new family.  Xiuru went there with the attitude that it was already done, all we need was the visa.  There was no fear, no resentment, just the belief that the person doing the interview was there to help her and I get married. 

4:  Get it the best you can at the very start:   When I joined China Love, I was very specific on the type of lady I was seeking.  Same age, similar occupation, no children, higher education, "simple elegance in appearance", beautiful smile.  I found Xiuru; the only one I exchanged EMFs with.  We built a relationship with our interpreter at agency 204, and Betty is still a very close friend.  We exchange email to keep each other informed.
 
5:  Go slow:  Did not get married the first trip,  did not talk of marriage the first trip. Started the K-1 visa in February thinking it would take 18 months to complete.  I took Chinese lessons, she started English lessons.  Video meetings twice a day.  Second trip we talked of getting married, and started making plans. 

6:  Seek out support:  I have a lawyer.  I interviewed 9 lawyers before selecting mine.  The first question I asked each was "how many visa from china have you done in the past year".  My lawyer has three successful (now 4) in the pat 18 months.  He is married to a lady from Korea, and does visas from Viet Nam, Korea, Thailand, and China.  Trust those who have experience.
 
7:  Focus on the relationship, let the lawyer focus on the process:  When Xiuru would ask "why is this necessary".  I would respond that our lawyer is very successful with this Embassy, he says we need it, so we will complete the task.  This way we could work on our relationship, not get sidetracked by the process.
 
8:  Keep in simple:  Xiuru and I are not unique.  Many people are going thru this process everyday.  It is not rocket science, or brain surgery.  Let the lawyer keep track of the details, you need to focus on the relationship.  Be positive, not arrogant;   there is a difference.  Keep the focus on your love for each other, and the life you will share in your hometown.

9:  Think ahead:  Here in Greensboro, there is a Chinese Association.  There are over 300 families that belong.  I connected Xiuru up with a sponsor.  They talk by email.  Xiuru knows that there are other Chinese people here in her new hometown, and she has made some new friends.  We have phone service to China, she can call daily as she desires, email, and video conference as she desires.  Make sure you have a support system in place for her when she arrives. 

10:  Keep your promises:  If you promise, you must preform. 

So Arnold, it is very simple,  life is full of stuff that can put a strain on any relationship.  the secret is knowing the priorties you have in life, and to make sure the lady you are marrying has the same priorities.  Will we have  smooth even road ahead,  of course not.  But we will be together, and together we can accomplish anthing.
After all we managed to fall in love 8000 miles apart.  Imagine what we can do when we are in the same zip code. 
 
Very simple.    buzz.   

Arnold

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #38 on: August 21, 2010, 12:10:49 am »
Buzz , if you know any of my story .. you'd know that I also had it pretty easy . You , I and some other ( but not too many ) can say that . It is not that simple for most of us here or other from somewhere else . Like you have posted , it is the very way one can have success .. but there is soo much uncertaincy involved to say it works for all . It does not and never will . I don't want to discourage anybody , but is this not what I've seen throughout this Forum and the Offical and the Facebook era ? Of course I always wished and still do , that it was simple for all not just us looking for Chinese (or other nationalities ) .

One thing I'm sure .. you'll be in Heaven like I am ( well almost ) . hahaha

ttwjr32

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #39 on: August 21, 2010, 02:13:35 am »
sometimes it is a simple process for some and others a little difficult and drawn out

but anyway congrats

Offline Rhonald

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #40 on: August 21, 2010, 08:42:34 am »
Remember - Simple does not mean easy - just means not complicated.
As they told us in the Army - KISS - "Keep it simple stupid" and less chance of messing up.

I see that Buzz just made sure of each step in the process. Kind of like what mountain climbers are told - make sure that 3 out of 4 limbs are holding secure - just move one limb at a time to prevent falling.

So climbing a mountain or running a marathon (place one foot in front of the other) can be a simple process but the challenge is that both require a different kind of endurance. Our big challenge is patience and it looks like Buzz is a good LOVE doctor as he has his own patient  :-* to prove his worth. And his reward is that  KISS when he embraces her at journey's end.
« Last Edit: August 21, 2010, 08:46:47 am by Rhonald »
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Offline Buzz

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #41 on: August 21, 2010, 08:56:54 pm »
It is interesting that Arnold and I are having the discussion.  I did read and follow your story.  I also hope to see you when we get to California this January.  After some thought and reading the notes by our northern story teller (Mr Ronald),  I will try and explain myself just a bit more.
 
There are just two things we have control over in this process.  It is not the time, the required forms, the distance, the language, the different culture, the endless cost.  The only thing we can control is our attitude and our choice to be proactive or reactive. 

Arnold, i have read your poems to your wife.  You can not accomplish these expressions of love if you do not have the time to experience the joy, think of the words, and put forth the thoughts into words that convey feelings.  I know from reading your experiences in getting the visa, that you were well prepared at every step.  To me that tells me that you are proactive in your approach to life, as am I.  An example:  A person looks at the tires on his auto and sees that he will need to get a new set fairly soon.  The proactive person, has set aside the money, makes the appointment, gets the best price possible, and gets the tires changed very soon.  The reactive person will complain about the high cost of the tires, will not have the money, and will have a flat tire on the freeway during rush hour.
 
A lot of what I have read here tells me that there are many people who react to life, rather than live life.  So when I said it was simple, that does not mean that I or you got any breaks or had shortcuts to the visa process, it just means that we were proactive in the approach to the challenges that faced us. 

The second item that is most important is the proper attitude.  I hear about the government requirements, the people doing the interview are out to trap and fail the ladies, and many other items.  The negative attitude.  Going back to your poems, i do not see the negative attitude in any of the lines.  You, I and others have chosen to live life with the glass half full rather that all the other options. 

I appreciated you comments, and as i said early on,  I hope to see you this next January when we get to California.  Patience is very difficult, but thanks to our video conference and with the planning of our wedding celebration in China, the trip to America, seeing the children, meeting the grandchildren, and the drive across from California to North Carolina, we have much to discuss and plan.

 Postive attitude, with proactive action, very simple,  not always easy, but almost always rewarding. 

buzz

Arnold

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #42 on: August 22, 2010, 04:55:09 am »
Buzz , i would love to meet up with you and your lovely Lady next year . It would be a pleasure to meet a person that thinks as
close as I do on this whole experience of seaching and finding and getting it done with nothing BUT a positive attitude all the way .
Let me know when you get near the date your in LA and I will make plans to see you via E-mail .

Offline Buzz

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #43 on: February 24, 2011, 08:05:20 pm »
An update:

Visa package was done on August 12, 2010.  Because we did not expect the process to be so quick, we had made arrangements to move at the end of the year.  Xiuru had a medical clinic that had several employees.  We wanted to give them until the end of the year to find new jobs, and to try and sell the business.  So we made plans for me to go to Shenyang/Anshan for the spring festival and then to bring Xiuru back with me before the deadline of 2-12-11.   

All went as planned.  The spring festival was quite an experience.  I have never heard or seen so many firecrackers go off and at all hours.  We met with the family and friends and we had several wedding celebrations, but the wedding was here in the states. 

It was amazing that all she had was put into 4 large suitcases and three carry on bags.  But we made it to Los Angles and all the paperwork was in order and we made it thru immigration and customs with no problems.  We then went on to San Diego and got to the hotel at midnight.  Next morning we went for the marriage license.  Again, all went well as we had all the necessary paperwork and made the appointments prior to leaving the states.  We wanted to take the kids and grandkids out to traditional Chinese food so we then went to a couple of places and finally decided on a rather small place, but the atmosphere was good and Xiuru was pleased. 

The wedding was on Saturday the 12th.  I hired a translator for the wedding.  We have a video of the wedding and will be sending a copy of it back to the family in china.  This along with the Chinese costumes we had brought for the men and grandsons, made the event quite nice.  My wife’s brother in law made the banners behind in a couple of the pictures, and we were able to hang them for the wedding ceremony. 

After the wedding we then drove back across the states and made stops in several cities and saw family and friends.  Had my 4 brothers and their wives meet with us in St. Joseph Missouri and had a great time.  Then on to Greensboro; been here for almost a week.  Return to work on Saturday, but my wife is settled in.  We have met with the Chinese association and have people who are helping with my wife’s questions and adjustments.  We have the green card paperwork in the morning, and then more unpacking and rearranging the home for the second or maybe the third time. 

This has been a long trip.  And for Xiuru and I it went very quickly.  I know that there are many others who were on this path long before I started and are still waiting for their wife to arrive to their home.  For me I am very very happy.  My wife is a treasure, and when she met my youngest brother, she told him it was time for him to get married.  She has a friend in Guangzhou and well, from here on it is my brother’s story. 


As for the ring, she wore it the day of the wedding, and it has been in the box since. 

Paul Todd

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Re: Buzz and XiuRu, a simple love story
« Reply #44 on: February 24, 2011, 08:45:35 pm »
Fantastic pictures and a great story,may you have many years of wedded bliss to come!  :)