Author Topic: ugh, setbacks  (Read 15239 times)

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Offline MLM

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #45 on: July 21, 2009, 12:35:22 pm »
Good to you Niel it would have been so easy to become insulting in that situation.
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Offline JimB

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #46 on: July 21, 2009, 05:21:41 pm »
Yes, some get insulted when they find out you are going to marry a "foreigner".  You may remember my story of the lady who butted into a conversation I was having.  Really makes me want to date here, and my ex-wife tells me it is unnatural to marry a Chinese woman. lol
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Offline Hans

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #47 on: July 21, 2009, 05:36:33 pm »
Quote from: 'Neil' pid='9343' dateline='1248191526'

I forgot to mention this earlier.  I was in the lawyer's office, signing the last of the paperwork and the lady says to me, "So you're really going to marry a lady in China?  Why don't you marry someone here instead?"  I just stared at this fat but friendly lady thinking of all the reasons and ways Chinese girls are better and how easy it would be to bash Canadian women.  I ended up saying "Sure, why don't I just marry my ex wife again?"


Neil, why did she even ask you that? It's non of her business! But she is certainly not the only one asking us that question. You probably did the right thing by not giving her a blunt answer. But of course you could have told her the simple truth: because Chinese women are the most beautiful creatures on Earth. :icon_cheesygrin:

I've heard these comments too and I am not even close to marriage yet. I just know that this is the path I want to follow and I've discussed it at length with a guy with whom I always discuss relations. He is just curious and is trying to understand what "the thing" about Chinese women is. Others, I believe, have given up and just think I'm crazy. I can live with that.

David5o

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #48 on: July 21, 2009, 06:23:35 pm »
There's good and bad everywhere, the good are not just based in China. You only need to read around this Forum to realise that little fact....

I was married to a perfect woman (for me) for 20 years before she passed away, and she was from my own country England. Now i have a perfect woman again, who happens to be Chinese. She's different to my ex-wife in many ways, but no more, and no less perfect.

A lot of this stuff we get on here about women from our own countries, being inferior to those in China is i think basically based on guy's going through particularly bad divorces, then stereotyping all home based women in the same category. Let's also face the fact, that the women and type of women you were attracted too in your own country, were your own choices. so you can't stack ALL the blame on to them....

I've probably  lived and worked in more countries than most on this Forum, and i can tell you, there are countries in this world, that have just as good women, as they have in China. You could find your perfect woman anywhere in this world, they are diverse as us men, .....Now your not going to tell me that were all perfect, ....Are you??

If your not interested in women from your own country anymore, fine. Now your going along on your own journey to find a Chinese wife. Why do you still find the need to rubbish the women your leaving behind....

David.....

Offline MLM

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #49 on: July 21, 2009, 06:28:39 pm »
My wife is here with me and I still get asked this same question and not all of them are polite or nice when they ask this and sometimes its in front of Zhou, we normally look at each other smile and walk away.
TIME IS THE TELLER OF ALL TRUTHS AND THE HEALER OF ALL HURTS

shaun

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #50 on: July 21, 2009, 10:45:30 pm »
I've been asked that question quite a few times even by my own children, daughters no less. Some women have been quite vicious and rude.  One even suggested that I was looking for a woman I could trample over, that I was too afraid to marry a real American woman.  I looked her in the eye and said, "You're right!" and walked away.  The others including my daughters I said because I think it is something I need to do and thanked them for their concern.  I really don't see the point in telling them because it will open a bigger can of worms. I think MM's got the best response, smile and walk away.

Offline Hans

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #51 on: July 22, 2009, 04:58:27 pm »
Quote from: 'David5o' pid='9396' dateline='1248215015'

There's good and bad everywhere, the good are not just based in China. You only need to read around this Forum to realise that little fact....

I was married to a perfect woman (for me) for 20 years before she passed away, and she was from my own country England. Now i have a perfect woman again, who happens to be Chinese. She's different to my ex-wife in many ways, but no more, and no less perfect.

A lot of this stuff we get on here about women from our own countries, being inferior to those in China is i think basically based on guy's going through particularly bad divorces, then stereotyping all home based women in the same category. Let's also face the fact, that the women and type of women you were attracted too in your own country, were your own choices. so you can't stack ALL the blame on to them....

I've probably  lived and worked in more countries than most on this Forum, and i can tell you, there are countries in this world, that have just as good women, as they have in China. You could find your perfect woman anywhere in this world, they are diverse as us men, .....Now your not going to tell me that were all perfect, ....Are you??

If your not interested in women from your own country anymore, fine. Now your going along on your own journey to find a Chinese wife. Why do you still find the need to rubbish the women your leaving behind....

David.....


Did someone hit a nerve here? Do we all try to talk nothing but rubbish about Western women? I don't think so. OK, let´s get it over with: Yes, there are beautiful and wonderful women all over the world, of all ethnic groups, of all religions. Was that good enough?

But remember that you are on a CHINA LOVE forum for men seeking future Chinese partners, it tend to be pretty romanticizing about Chinese women. With good reason. I can only speak for myself, but I am not here to discuss the glory of Swedish, English, American or Australian women. I am here to discuss and learn more about Chinese women.

We all have our reasons for being here. Personally I have been increasingly interested in China since I first visited the country in 2005. Suddenly I have also developed a great love for Asian women that I did not have, or realized I had, before. This can't be helped, I am simply not physically attracted to Western women anymore like I used to be. It's been frustrating because there are not that many Asian women around here.

Yes, there are great women all over the world, not just in China. Of course. But if I compare the demands of Swedish women to those of Chinese women, I can see the difference. A lot of Swedish women (at least in my age) have incredible demands. I have never ever seen a young Swedish woman on a dating site saying that her dream is to find an honest, responsible husband who will treat her well. No, they will go on about sexual performance, looks and money. Again, this doesn't mean every single woman between 20 and 30 is like that. But many of them undoubtedly are.

And, if I want to live in China in the future, finding a Chinese girl to marry is a pretty logic move...

David5o

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #52 on: July 22, 2009, 06:25:59 pm »
Hans,

Agree with you almost completely in what you say here.

I was trying to point out that everyone here has decided to move on in there lives and look for a Chinese Wife.  So why do they have to look back, to what there not interested in, and tar all western women with the same inappropriate brush??  Remember Hans, that includes our Mothers, our daughters, our Sisters, our deceased Wife's and any other female member of our families!!

Why not just look forward to where your going in life and enjoy it, and leave the women at home, out of it.  There is a lot of this throughout the Forum Hans, not just on this thread. I for one, have a little more respect, and a far more even mind on this subject.

Your also right about the romanticizing of Chinese women here, sometimes to the point where some, almost lose the plot!! The reality is, ....some will find that perfect Chinese wife, some will think they have, and some will just fail to find that right lady for them. ...and will look elsewhere!!

David....
« Last Edit: July 23, 2009, 01:17:14 pm by David5o »

Offline Hans

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #53 on: July 23, 2009, 04:50:26 am »
Quote from: 'David5o' pid='9546' dateline='1248301559'

Hans,

Agree with you almost completely in what you say here.

I was trying to point out that everyone here has decided to move on in there lives and look for a Chinese Wife.  So why do they have to look back, to what there not interested in, and tar all western women with the same inappropriate brush??  Remember Hans, that includes our Mothers, our Sisters, our deceased Wife's and any other female member of our families!!

Why not just look forward to where your going in life and enjoy it, and leave the women at home, out of it.  There is a lot of this throughout the Forum Hans, not just on this thread. I for one, have a little more respect, and a far more even mind on this subject.

Your also right about the romanticizing of Chinese women here, sometimes to the point where some, almost lose the plot!! The reality is, ....some will find that perfect Chinese wife, some will think they have, and some will just fail to find that right lady for them. ...and will look elsewhere!!

David....


I think there may be a simple reason for this kind of bashing of Western women: convincing ourselves we are doing the right thing. We all have doubts from time to time, it's a big step to marry someone with whom you can't even communcate freely at first and maybe even move to a completely different culture. Perhaps some of us need to pat ourselves on the shoulder and one way of convincing ourselves that we are in fact doing the right thing, is to remind ourselves that Western women are not for us anyway. ;) Just a tought.

I don't disrespect Western. I'm just not interested in them like I used to be. I have no great illusions about Chinese women being some kind of different species. But when Chinese women (students or tourists) walk by on the street and I almost get a whiplash injury, I think that kind of confirm my decision after all...  :icon_cheesygrin:

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #54 on: July 23, 2009, 07:24:11 am »
Hans,

That's a very sensible and mature outlook you have there Hans. It's a shame that some of the older guys haven't attained that maturity. I'm sure you'll do just fine on your journey....

Good luck all round to you....

David....
« Last Edit: July 24, 2009, 05:23:30 am by David5o »

Offline Hans

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #55 on: July 25, 2009, 04:35:47 am »
Thanks mate, and good luck to you as well. I'm sure it'll work out for all of us in some way.

David5o

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #56 on: July 25, 2009, 07:54:29 am »
Hans,

My luck came my way a little over 3 years ago, Been living with her the majority of that time. A year in China and the rest here in Cyprus. getting married sometime between end of september /October time here. Then back to China early next year for a ceromony for her family... some sort of blessing from i can gather. ..haha!!.....  But thanks for the luck anyway, we can all do with a bit of that, at anytime in our live's!! ....lol!!!  

David.....

Offline Rhonald

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #57 on: July 25, 2009, 10:09:15 am »
Quote from: 'David5o' pid='9830' dateline='1248522869'

A year in China and the rest here in Cyprus.


Cyprus - I was over there in 1978 with the army in the UN. Beautiful island. I always wished to visit it again. First time I tried lamb was there. I love the Kebobs. How's the economy doing there?
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David5o

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #58 on: July 25, 2009, 10:21:43 am »
CRAP !!  Same as everywhere else at the moment !!   lol !!

David....
« Last Edit: July 25, 2009, 10:22:47 am by David5o »

Offline Hans

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RE: ugh, setbacks
« Reply #59 on: July 25, 2009, 10:33:14 am »
Quote from: 'David5o' pid='9830' dateline='1248522869'

Hans,

My luck came my way a little over 3 years ago, Been living with her the majority of that time. A year in China and the rest here in Cyprus. getting married sometime between end of september /October time here. Then back to China early next year for a ceromony for her family... some sort of blessing from i can gather. ..haha!!.....  But thanks for the luck anyway, we can all do with a bit of that, at anytime in our live's!! ....lol!!!  

David.....


Sounds great. Cyprus is very nice. But I would prefer China. ;)

Yeah, we all need some luck - also after we've been married. Seems like you have your hands full for some time now. All the best.