mods explanation about china-love

[joeswuhandream]

hello to everyone, i have been monitoring this forum a long while
can the moderators anser this question ?
why is china-love such  a big click seems to me that you have a very happy situation, any outsider seems to not  made welcome by eveyones attitude ?
and to many of you pretend to no so much about very little
about china  of course( china mike shark) was shown the door
and he as more input than  any one of you on the  forum  
and you banned him what can i say ? click click the truth can hurt at times

i would like to be involved with this forum and i do have experiances to share , but if you mods have a click maybe i am in the wrong place ,it will be interresting to  no what you mods have to say i would ask you to go  back to march 2009 to look  at the posts and this shout section  thats why i think you have a click

i trust you will not ban me for voicing my opinion
in i think a constructive way
please feel to send me a private message


ohhhh what a rush the lion is after you

[mustfocus]

Hi Joe,

I'm not sure what you are talking about (but I'm not a moderator either).  I joined this site after the China Mike thing happened, but as I understand it, China Mike threatened someone with physical violence...  I don't know him (I have seen him in the original forums and I have read some of his posts here), but if he threatened another member of either forum, I could understand why he should be banned.

As for who has more info, regardless of who has it (China Mike or any of the guys here), I'd advise you to take any advice given and think about it first.  Mike might be living in China, but several of the members here are living there as well.  Neither's advice is invalid, just it might not apply to you.

Finally, I don't see anyone not being cast as an outsider.  Sure, there are a few "spammers" joining that have been banned.  And a few people get a little heated with their discussions and opinions, but everyone is usually given a chance.  I (personally) would love to hear more success stories from anyone who has gotten married with someone from there and I'm sure others would as well.

One thing to note about both forums, this one isn't necessarily filtered (except for spam messages).  The other forum (the "official one") is.

Just some thoughts.

[David5o]

Joe,

I'm sure there are a lot more people here that know a lot more about China than you do.
Nothings perfect in this world, and this Forum is still Young, it's still feeling it's way. But it is trying, and it has helped ...and is still helping a good few guys on there sometimes difficult journey's in finding a good Chinese wife!!

If all you can see here is the Negative, then perhaps it's not really the place you would be happy!!

David....

[Neil]

Seems to me, outsiders that are not welcome are ones that are overly aggressive or accusative.  Not exactly a good start for you to say "many of us pretend to know so much about very little".  We're here to make friends and help each other out.  Makes me wonder why you want to be involved with this forum.  What do you have to gain with that type of attitude and what do we have to gain from it?  

We're a big"Clique" (two points for spelling) because we have a common interest and goals.

[Martin]

Joe.  I don't know if I qualify as a Mod or not.  However, i will try to address your concerns.  First off, welcome.

Since you have some interest in Michael Seal, lets discus him for a moment.  Michael had been with our group from the beginning days.  He always had something to say, and sometimes it was constructive, while other times it was not.  But he was always a welcome member of this group, whether or not he agreed with the "status quo".

We had a new member join who claimed to be a translator for an agency.  What this person had to say was a farce.  Most of us recognized it for what it was.  However, Michael took it to the next level, and suggested he would stop in to pay this person a visit at their work place.

Before a member is banned, the mods must have a vote to decide if this is the best course of action.  Any one mod can not permanently ban someone because they are not part of the "clique".  Given the severity of the situation, a vote was taken.  I can tell you that not all mods voted to ban him.  However, a majority voted to have him removed from our group.  This is why he was banned.

Michael has useful information, I will agree.  But he is not the end all and be all of knowledge when it comes to China.  Many members here have a lot more personal experience than he did.  Take for example, David 5o, Willy The Londoner, ttwjr32, Maxx, and others.  I am not saying Michael did not know what he was talking about...he certainly knows a thing or two as well.

You are welcome in this forum.  All people are welcome, provided they follow the rules of the forum.  I do not feel the mods have formed any sort of clique.  Some of us are friends, and have known each other for over a year.  We have shared personal information with each other, and have gotten close with each other.  I do not think that this makes us an exclusive clique.  In fact, I would like you to point out why you think this of the mods specifically.

Many friendships have been forged on this site.  Many people have provided information on this site.  We don't always agree with one another, but this does not mean someone will get banned.  Only a few people have actually banned from this site for not following the rules of the forum.

I would suggest that before you come onto a free site and insult the people that are trying to keep it operating smoothly, you should do some more research, and not just use Michael Seal as your source of research, and consider all of his writings to all be factual.

[Vince G]

Well Joe, I will try to answer the few questions you asked.

1) We know so little of China?

This would then mean you know more then all here? So why not educate us instead?

2) China Shark, and he as more input than any one of you on the forum?
Well that's your opinion. For someone that has been "monitoring this forum" to say something like this is beyond me. He's been talking to himself at the other forum, so if you want to talk to only the wizard?  Follow the yellow brick road. But pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

We don't and never have banned anyone expressing an opinion. You say you want to be involved  with this forum and yet you are starting off insulting people?

[David E]

In July 2009, I was one of the "newbies" or outsiders as you put it.

I had a number of disasters regarding Chinese Women and CHNLove..(the official one).

I kept quiet for a while and read and read and read everything here...including the posts from Mike the Shark.

Then I went away and made up my own mind about what I was going to believe, what I was going to do next based on the advice I got.....and then I entered the forum with posts of my own.

Not everyone agrees with my point of view...and I dont always agree with theirs. I have had some fairly tense times with some folk here...but NEVER in public, we have sorted it all out via PM's.

To come to this Forum is a personal decision, its not all Gospel, its not all relevant...but it is ALL given from guys who want to share their experience and want to help.

I cannot possibly imagine why anyone should think the Mods here have a clique.........the banned members all earned it !!! but provided you "more or less" stick to the rules you get no interference from them.

Your input and anybody else's is more than welcome by me, and I am sure by all the other bros.

Maybe you know heaps more than any of us about China and Chinese Women...then why not take a chance and share it with us. If you dont like the results...you can always say goodbye !!

DavidE

[dude]

i would like to be involved with this forum and i do have experiances to share , but if you mods have a click maybe i am in the wrong place ,it will be interresting to  no what you mods have to say i would ask you to go  back to march 2009 to look  at the posts and this shout section  thats why i think you have a click

Hello Joe!

You can look a little further back to the facebook days and see even more! Myself, I have learned what was shared by these very same guys. I would also like to learn what you have, so please share!:icon_biggrin:

I noticed your name as "joeswuhandream", do you have experience with this city? Did you find your pot of gold there? I have met several "gold-diggers" from there...perhaps you were lucky and found something better?

I also get much heat here for posting stuff here that many don't like to read and the mods haven't banned me. I'm not even apart of neil's clique...he hates me! All my information comes from the worst possible sources you can find...women that live in China! One I'm living with now in Changsha...many of these guys will argue with me about this cuz they know more than the women that live here!!! Butt thats ok...this is what makes a forum, a forum!!!

On a side note... Martin you are qualified to be a mod here...you been to China, you have married a lady here and you were a part of the original facebook forum...don't underestimate yourself!:icon_cheesygrin:

[Willy The Londoner]

I intend to make no comment on this thread other than I have just spent ten minutes on the OTHER forum, have not been on their for ages,  and it only took that long because I read some older messages.

We are now into 10th day of this year.  I noted that on that place there have been just 12 postings made in that time and some of the categories had not had a posting since September 2009.   I made two postings just to cheer things up a bit!

I know where I would rather be.

Willy

[ttwjr32]

Joe

i really am insulted with what you said here. all of us here talk and post opinions
and i dont see any one of us claiming to be experts at it. nor do i see were one
individual seems to claim he is the one who knows it all. China Shark seemed to feel
that way and really wasnt open to constructive opinions. he seemed to think he was
an expert about asia after living here for 6 months before he was banned and he did
have time in asia in 1992 for a year. ive talked to him since the ban and it was always
whining about certain people here and how they dont appreciate his opinion but should
because he is living here. keep in mind Mr. JoesWuhand dream that we all here try and
voice our opinions based on our lifes experiences to help other forum members. to claim
to be an expert is really just what some people who really dont have an open mind and
think that they know it all seem to do and i dont see that here.  Hell i have been living in China
for 45 months out of the last 60 months and i am learning new things and i keep an open
mind when i talk with other members. And i have learned many new things here from those
members. so lets think and read before we post such a one sided opinion of all of us here.
from your CHINGLISH Mr. Joeswuhan dream you sound like your chinese and we would welcome
your experiences if you were to share them with us in a positive manner. i guess its up to you
if you want to share with us your thoughts.

[Paul Todd]

Oppressed Group Behavior:
From Middle Kingdom Life, home of the highly-acclaimed Foreign Teachers' Guide to Living and Working in China..

Lateral Aggression
The main characteristic of oppressed groups is that members often exhibit self-hatred and dislike for other members of their own group. An absence of respect for one’s own group often results in a desire not to be associated with it This characteristic is particularly apropos in understanding and explaining—what I refer to as—”lateral aggression” among foreign English teachers in China and it is one that is readily apparent among many Westerners who are working in China as foreign oral English teachers. Consider the following recent interaction between two members of an Internet forum for foreign teachers in China:

Member A: I spend almost NO time with westerners if I can help it, and I take the bus and the pedicab when I can.

Member B (to Member A): Just sending you my thanks…

Member A: Quite welcome, dude. In your case, I’ll make it a promise..

Another very common form of aggression can be observed when those who have been in China for awhile boast of all the “high-level” government officials they have at their personal disposal. Such foreigners claim to be personally exempt from whatever usual inconveniences are faced by other foreign teachers and how they are the sole Western beneficiaries of special favors or privileges in their particular city or even province. The intent, obviously, is to aggressively or competitively show how they are more valued by the dominant group than any other member of their own group is. Every time I am in earshot of such pronouncements, I am reminded of scenes from Alex Haley’s book Roots in which he described how the slaves used to compete with each other over whose master had the more successful farm or biggest crops. Common sense dictates that no high-level government official in China is going to squander his guanxi, which is more valuable than money here, helping out some foreigner who is thought of (quite accurately in most cases) as just a transient worker.

When I read this I was quite struck by the similarities to what Mike has been posting recently.

[joeswuhandream]

Thank you guys for your replies .
 I do take on board what you have said ,
but I think you guys miss interpreted what I was saying  but never mind life is to short
I shall move on  
I am over in china in Feb. and I hope I shall post my experiences and thoughts on my stay
in Changsha , I shall be there from the 9th/feb--28th/feb  I have climbed the mountain for my pot off gold and yes it as taken me a very long time in china to find what I have  been looking for
in fact it as been 10yrs  lots of time spent in this beautiful country
so just maybe I can pass on some very good insight about my experiences
but for now I shall I say thank you to all who responded to my  post


the lion sleeps tonight   Joe

[dude]

Joe,

I will be here in Changsha through Feb...you can send me a PM...if ya like to meet up I will be happy to buy you a beer! :icon_biggrin:

Jim

[Vince G]

So Joesph (manchester, United Kingdom), I just read a reply to a post of Maxx's on the chnlove forum. Should I quote you or do you want to say the real reason you posted here? Oh by the way it's not "China Mike Shark". I suggest you reread Mike's last post on Jan 7, #43 on which he is talking bad about Maxx. You took it upon yourself to defend Mike by making comments to Maxx. Now you came here to continue it. Maxx's reply was justified by Mike's post. Maybe you shouldn't stick your face into other peoples business and mind your own.

Reading that reply you don't have the comprehension of what your reading. Before you defend your hero I suggest you know what your defending.

[David E]

Vince  1..    Lion  0...    :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

David