Author Topic: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai  (Read 4970 times)

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Offline UK Mark

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Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« on: January 17, 2010, 04:23:25 am »
There are two types of marraige bureau in Shanghai , one where Chinese marry Chinese and another it seems dedicated and geared up for Chinese to marry a foreigner.

So of course we went to the wrong one first :icon_cheesygrin: , when looking at the Shanghai Civil Affairs Bureau it looked like a tidy building as many do in Shanghai , one the ground floor all of the corridor and the lift doors all of a sudden looked very grotty and i dreaded what i was going to see on the 3rd floor , but thankfully all was very good there.

A short corridor with signs in English and Chinese , this was the plave to get married or divorced , we passed large frosted glass doors which hid the ceremony room , we entered a large waiting room, flower displays, chairs and tables to wait at, wedding magazines.. etc  , with a long counter at one end with about four pairs of chairs along it , with well dressed smart staff going about their business.

We spoke to one and i showed her my certificate of no impediment and stat dec , after looking at these we were sent to the next room along , this was the translation room , quite dated with a very old man at a desk, lots of books and a table , he looked at the documents and sent us back to the first girl  to check if both documents needed translating , a minute later we were back in the translation room only the stat dec needed translation ,, they didnt seem interested in the certificate of no impediment!  Ok so we left the document with him and he started straight away , along to the next room we went , this contained the photographer.

We had individual and couple snaps , he was very good , you get to look at the images on the digital camera before he prints and trims them to size , cost 160rmb , you can have as many copies as you like all for a fee of course , another women in this room then trys to sell you a photo session in the ceremony room , as all chinese women are frugal , mine said save money , but i wanted this and to be honest i would advise everyone to have them done . abouut 250yuan i think , anyway more work to do before these are taken.

Back to the translator .. hand over about 300yuan and get the translation

Back to the large waiting room (which was empty) .. to the counter , a very helpful young girl (who could speak english) gave us two forms , one each , one in chinese one in english , the basics name , address , martial status , no blood relation etc ..
The girl double checks everything , i saw my lady hand over 10yuan , i didnt ask why i guess admin charge , anyway the red books are printed and photographs stuck in them . It amused me in these modern times as the girl had a large glass jar of white glue and an large artists paint brush, the books were then placed under a dryer to speed the setting of the glue

As we wanted the extra photos we then are let into the ceremony room , lots of artifical flowers on a stage with a plinth with a big book on it  , chinese flag in the corner , other end of the room a digital camera on a tripod ,

There are a series of five set photo shots

1. both behind the plinth , man holding up the two red books
2. both under the flag , reading their red books
3. both under the flag looking at the offical as she asks questions like will you honour your family
4. the lady signing the book as the man watches her
5. man signing book , lady watching

back to the photo room now .. to look at the photos as choose (they take more than one shot for each pose) , these are then put in a really nice red folder . Once again you can pay extra and have as many copies as you like.

Next you get offered a little wooden box to put the red books in , its cute and only 50yuan so i decided its not the time to be tight , i wanted it

Then we went to the next little office , i wasnt really needed here only to hand over another 150yuan , my lady said it was so she could get her visa in the future , i cant remember the title on the door but it did say notary , so im thinking its a confirmation of the wedding. My lady was given some paperwork in chinese and then it was time to go

altogether i guess about 30 - 45 minutes , it was quiet there

we were the 18th couple to get married there in 2010 a lucky number the photographer said , sounds in chinese a bit like 'want luck
Dreams can come true

Vince G

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2010, 08:40:55 am »
Congratulations to both you and Ning. I think this is the most detailed wedding I have read? Now where's the photos? :icon_biggrin:
« Last Edit: January 17, 2010, 08:42:46 am by Vince G »

Offline Martin

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2010, 01:24:43 pm »
Great description.  It actually felt like I was there with you.  Good for you for getting these different things....you are right, now is not the time to be cheap.  You might not be able to get these in the future, so why not get them now, to remember your special day.

Congratulations to the two of you.

Offline Voiceroveip

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2010, 03:09:37 pm »
Congratulations! Nice story ... so you didn't even have to say "yes"?

Frank
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Offline JimB

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2010, 05:10:22 pm »
It feels weird to not have the "traditional" wedding ceremony.  But, of course it is mostly religiously based here.  There it is no big deal.  Congrats on your marriage and may all your wishes come true for the both of you.  I hope your laopo is as good as mine is.
Maxx's 24 hour rule, learn it, live it.

ttwjr32

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2010, 12:35:44 am »
congrats on the wedding

i also remember the glue and brush havent thought of that in a while

Paul Todd

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #6 on: January 18, 2010, 03:14:52 am »
All the very best to the bride and groom! :icon_cheesygrin: May the two of you live a long and happy life together,

Ming Zhi,Paul

Offline Peter

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2010, 11:41:46 am »
Congratulations Mark.. I think you wouldn't regret the extra photos in the future..
Better to be married to a wife from Changsha then have 7000 women in Chnlove

Offline UK Mark

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #8 on: January 18, 2010, 12:19:12 pm »
Thanks all for the good wishes . As the better half is Catholic we intend to have a church ceremony back in the uk ( i guess a renewal of the vows or a blessing ) followed by a proper wedding reception .

Haha .. i had to say yes to a few statements but i didnt understand the girls accent very well so i dont know everything i said yes to :icon_confused:
Dreams can come true

Offline Martin

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2010, 02:06:39 pm »
Quote from: 'UK Mark' pid='28624' dateline='1263835152'

Haha .. i had to say yes to a few statements but i didnt understand the girls accent very well so i dont know everything i said yes to :icon_confused:


I can help you with this...I went through this myself, so i can help you.  These are what you said yes to, in no particular order.

Will hand over all your money to your wife
Will agree with everything she and her QQ friends say.
Will you give her a massage everyday?
Will you do all the cooking and cleaning?
Will you take her clothes shopping several times a week?

I am sure there were a few others, but those are what I can remember. :icon_cheesygrin:

Offline Peter

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2010, 02:28:34 pm »
I can only add:
Will you kiss her and tell her you lover her every day ?

If you do this you have the best wife, lover, companion, friend and everything else that you can get.... A wife that will fight for her family and treat her husband in the best way she can.....
Better to be married to a wife from Changsha then have 7000 women in Chnlove

Offline Rhonald

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2010, 11:19:46 pm »
I am slightly Dyslexic so for my 1st wife I meant to say - Do I? but instead said I Do!

Congrats on the wedding and saying YES and joining the gang.
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Offline UK Mark

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #12 on: January 19, 2010, 08:19:19 am »
haha maybe i should listen to whats being said more carefully before i say yes to anything else !  

I do tell her i love her everyday !  on the one occassion she needed to ask me ' do you love me' i replied 'yes i love my first wife very much' .... the bruise has nearly gone now :icon_cheesygrin:
Dreams can come true

Offline Willy The Londoner

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2010, 09:51:44 am »
Great post Mark  - can always rely on the Brits for fine detail.

By the first week of February then that will be three down.   Have I missed anyone  Mark, Danny and Myself.

Willy
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Offline zook144

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RE: Marrying a Lady in Shanghai
« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2010, 11:31:07 pm »
Congratulations, Mark!!  Did I miss the pictures?   :dodgy:
The Journey Is The Destination