Chinese New Year Tradition

[JimB]

My wife informed me tonight that we are not going to go to Wuhan for New Years.  When i pressed her about it, she told me her mama asked us to not come.  This gave me a start as I thought we got along well.  It turns out that her relatives would expect me to give them all money for New years and if we do not, she and Mama will lose a lot of face.  My wife said we would not do this.  So we are not going.  Has anyone else heard of this nonsense?  It is because i am a foreigner and they think we are all rich.  I know that.  My wife of course sticks up for me. But, i know it has to hurt her. Like I said this is the first i have ever heard or read about this.  Anyone Else?

[mustfocus]

Jim,

I've heard similar stories.  Not for Chinese New Year, but even just showing up.  If the family isn't well to do, the relatives may be looking for handouts.  The other thing is if you do go, how much money is appropriate.  They will have a value in mind, most likely much more than you'd be willing to give.

A prime example would be Chong.  Look at what the guy who introduced Chong to his wife wanted.

I'm not saying the relatives will all be greedy, but I have heard enough stories in the global chinese community of similar things.

Now if you want to give out lots of money, that's a different story. :icon_cheesygrin:

[Martin]

I'll take some if you are just handing it out!

[rockycoon]

It is because i am a foreigner and they think we are all rich. I know that. My wife of course sticks up for me.

In fact he won't even give her lunch money....hahaha :icon_cheesygrin:

[Neil]

Good to know as I'll be meeting Nina's parents this October (and extended family).  Something to prepare for if it happens.  Her parents are very poor and uneducated farmers according to Nina.  Very traditional, yet they have given us their blessings based on Nina's word alone.  I'm not too worried about it, but it might be something to discuss beforehand.

[Willy The Londoner]

My Angel has been collecting 1 and 5 yuan notes for a couple of months.  There is quite a pile now - may come to 1000 - 1500 yuan - 100 -150 GB pounds - she explained that is for the red envelopes.   I asked why not 20, 50 or 100 and she said that to receive them would embarrass the receivers and they would lose face as they would only be giving small amounts back in their envelopes.

So that may be the problem Jim - they may think that you will give them much more than they are giving back and visa versa.  Within families they know what each are given each other and so it is not a problem but a wealthy westerner comes along and that consues them.

Willy

[mustfocus]

Just as a side note... A few years ago, in Singapore and Malaysia, you could get away with giving out S$2 in each hongbao (??).  But lately that is not enough.  It has risen to S$8 (people would give $4, but you know why you can't, and $8 seems so prosperous).  And many are expecting bigger amounts this year.

A good sign of properity is if you can give crisp brand new currency.  Around New Year, there is often a run in Singapore for $2 bills.  Get the bills now if you can.  Don't give old bills...

[JimB]

Look i have given red envelopes, gifts, etc and not one thing back from her family.  Now they want more.  BS. i do not mind gifts to them, but expecting cash is not gonna happen from me.  Kids are different.  Uncle Jim will do gifts for them.  The rest is BS as far as i am concerned and let the chips fall where they may.

I will take mama in to raise, dont have a problem with that.  I just wont feed money.

[ttwjr32]

i thought during the chinese new year the kids got the red envelopes not the adults
 anyway thats what my wife said and thats what we are doing this new year here

[maxx]

Ted that is what my wife tells me to.Only the kids get the red envelopes.

[David E]

Because I will be in China with Ming and her family for the first time during this New Year, and because I want to do what is right and correct, I have specifically "grilled" her about the gift thing.

She tells me that I should consider giving "Red envelopes" to the children in the family but NOT to put more than 100 RMB in each.

Other than that, she thinks that a small gift...especially a "souvenir" type thing from Australia will be enough for all the others...and she tells me they would be over the Moon about it....

So thats what I will do !!!!!!

David

[brett]

I won't be with my lady for new year :@. Is there something appropriate I can post to her?

[Irishman]

Yep, Sunny told me too that the red envelopes are only for the kids over new year, not the adults. Though her parents may give us ones - we are younger than them.

However I will bring her parents and sister gifts to show respect especially as this will be my first time meeting them.

[mustfocus]

Interesting.  In HK and Singapore and Malaysia (those are the countries I know who do this), it is usually the married couples giving to the single folk (which usually includes the kids).

[Voiceroveip]

I've been told to prepare change for the kids in the street for New Year ... but I'm not spending Chinese New Year in a family so maybe that's different.