Author Topic: meaning of visit  (Read 36439 times)

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shaun

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #180 on: May 30, 2010, 08:06:35 am »
Lee,

There are not words right now that can bring you total comfort and rest with this loss.  I know because I have been there before.  Just know that we as community mourn with you in your loss and that our heart goes out to you.  Please take the needed time to grieve this loss.  It is important that you do that.  Also pick a couple of men on this site and talk with them through PM.  I say PM so that you can pour out what you are feeling and not worry about what the others might think.

What ever you do don't stay gone from this site.  We're all here for you bro.

Shaun

Offline Chong

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #181 on: May 30, 2010, 11:50:10 pm »
Lee,

Sorry for your loss.

Take Care.

Arnold

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #182 on: May 31, 2010, 11:49:21 pm »
What can one say ? There is nothing Lee , that I can add either to make this comforting or hurt less ... but to also pray for you and the Lady you lost and her Family .

Qing and Myself also give you our Condolences !!!

Offline mustfocus

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #183 on: May 31, 2010, 11:53:37 pm »
Really sorry to hear that Lee.  I know there is nothing we can say that will help you feel better, but we are here if you need us.
梦醒时分 - Meng Xing Shi Fen

Offline Lee357

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #184 on: June 01, 2010, 04:42:01 pm »
thank you. i leave for China today. it will not be the return i had hoped for. thank you to all the brothers here. it has been a very lonely time for me. my family act like i dodged a bullet. they do not say it, but it is obvious to me. my friends have reverted to drunken frat boys around me. they do not know what to say or do. I have gotten more than a few "well at least you only knew her for 6 months". like that makes this any less painful. I have even my mother tell my sister, "he will get over this quickly how much can he really be in love. He has only really met her twice." It has been hell. I am going to spend some time in China with her family. I do not think it will make it easier for me in the short run, but I think being with those who loved her as much as i did and actually understand my pain. Will help in the long run. I do not know. I am completely lost right now. I know i am feeling very alone, and my support system here does not understand. I know they try as best as they can, but they just can not understand and it shows. I know that her family welcomes me to come and grieve with them. Dad suggested it. I do not know if this is the correct path, but i know i must do something to be with people that are closer to my heart then those around me here. Good bye my friends. I will check in from time to time. Until my heart is right again, i might as well go where my heart has been since December and my future was going to be.
Does it matter to the bird if an apple is Red or Green? Or does the bird just care that the apple is sweet.

shaun

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #185 on: June 01, 2010, 05:09:08 pm »
Lee,

For what it is worth I think you are making the right decision to go and be with her family.  You and her family will benefit in the long run.  It will help to bring closure for all of you. I know it is painful but it's got to hurt before it can heal.

Don't stay away from this site.  We all care about you and want to know how you are doing.  So keep us informed and if there is anything within my reach that I can do let me know.  PM me if you need to.

Shaun

Offline Lee357

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #186 on: July 30, 2010, 04:39:13 am »
I have returned to the states. I will only be here for about 3 weeks. I will return to Chongqing and begin my new life there. It has been a rough month, but I have survived. I have tried a couple of times to log onto here in China but have not been able to. I am not a computer wiz so i could not figure out the proxy thing. Now for my new news. My Chinese family has been wonderful they have been very supportive and loving. they have welcomed me into the family with open arms. Just prior to me leaving to come back to the states dad called his other single daughter back home. He has been suggesting that i might like her as much as I did Shichao. I find this a little strange, but I have been out to dinner with her a few times. She is totaly different then Shichao was. I am not really interested in her and had to find a very diplomatic way to tell her and dad. It worked out well. Turns out she has a boy she likes and only came back because her dad wanted her to. I am going to post some pictures of Shichao in my album. they are of are wedding pictures. I have accepted her death. I am not ready to move on, but acceptance has given me a certain amount of peace. Mother has told me that when I am ready to meet another girl. This girl will have to gain their approval before I can marry her. To them I am now their son. I like that except upon accepting that honor I discovered that I now am responsible to them just like any Chinese son would be. One must accept the good with the bad. Dad has managed to get me permanent resident status. I do not know how he did it. So in short I may have lost my love, but i gained a family all the same. So I am a richer human being for the experience. I do not know if my reaction to this is typical or even normal. I do know that i have found a certain amount of happiness in China. I know that I am going to move back there to live the rest of my life. At least as long as the Chinese will let me stay. I have agreed to work for the government using my degree in Astrophysics on their small but proud space program. I have chosen to look forward and never back. I will try to figure out how to access this site when I get back home. I think that is enough for now. I wish all of you the best of luck and the happiest of lives. Enjoy the journey as much as the destination, because like me you may not reach the destination you had originally wanted. If you enjoy the journey then the destination becomes less important. Satisfaction and happiness come in many forms, and not always in the form we first thought was important. Sincerely your brother in this journey, Lee
Does it matter to the bird if an apple is Red or Green? Or does the bird just care that the apple is sweet.

Offline David E

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #187 on: July 30, 2010, 05:18:47 am »
Lee
You make me realise that whatever little niggles and uncertainties I have in daily life...they are of zero consequence.
You were fortunate enough to find true love...which eludes many people for most of their lives.
Go in peace, you will live through this and emerge into the sunshine again.
Anything you need..just ask
David

Offline Neil

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #188 on: July 30, 2010, 05:50:06 am »
What a sad but beautiful story.  You may not have ended up with the love you sought, but you have found a love none the less. 
...as irresistible as chocolate

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #189 on: July 30, 2010, 07:00:40 am »
Lee, thank you for your update , Sujuan and I can only wish the best for you and your new found family in China , regards Robert.
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
My QQ is   1994376895
For electronics and books etc , check out , www.bopads.info

ttwjr32

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #190 on: July 30, 2010, 07:17:57 am »
best wishes

Offline Lee357

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #191 on: August 22, 2010, 08:47:09 pm »
it took me a little longer in the states than i expected. leaving tomorrow to return home. if some one knows how to access this site from china help me out and let me know. i am not real computer literate. i have arranged all my affairs and have fulfilled the Chinese governments requirements. I also have completed the united states governments requirements to work for a foreign government without loosing my citizenship in the process. I would advise not getting into that mess of paper work and interviews. they treat you like a traitor, and pry into absolutely every aspect of your life. I did not think it would be so intensive. I am happy it is done and i can go home now. my flight is at 7:30 tomorrow night pacific time. so please point me to how to access this site from china before that time. Thank you. Lee
Does it matter to the bird if an apple is Red or Green? Or does the bird just care that the apple is sweet.

Scottish_Rob

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #192 on: August 22, 2010, 09:53:38 pm »
Hi Lee nice to hear from you again..

I use Mozilla Firfox and got online easy enough through that, when I was in Qingdao last November, maybe get in touch with Willy or Ted, they use some sort of Proxy I think...

Best of luck with your new life mate...

Vince G

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #193 on: August 22, 2010, 11:35:20 pm »
The proxy is no longer needed since Irish changed the address. You should have no problem getting on here from China.

ttwjr32

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Re: meaning of visit
« Reply #194 on: August 23, 2010, 12:25:31 am »
no problems at all now getting on here in china