meaning of visit

[RobertBfrom aust]

 Lee ,Have a safe trip back to China ,regards Sujuan and Robert .

[Peter Arnold]

Jeez Lee and everyone concerned, just read your story! Got admire your tenacity and courage. I was very touched by your sad story and wish you success in your new home. It takes courage to do what you are embarking on. Funny how we find 'family' elsewhere. I am wondering if it is pretty standard for friends and relatives to treat us as if we are some kind of outcast if we look to find a Chinese wife? I haven't felt any real support from my family. Just scepticism. My mother thinks my learning Mandarin is just a flash in the pan. I'm 55 next week. You would think family would be happy that you are taking responsibility for your own happiness.  It just makes me more determined to find a wonderful Chinese woman to marry. Don't know if this is the right thread to get feedback on this topic, but I'd like to know other guys experiences with family and their responses.

[RobertBfrom aust]

Peter , not really surprised by your families thoughts as unless they have interacted with Chinese people in the past they still think of China as a backward country , not as a country where now all people are welcome to visit , the family group is still very important , it is safe in most places to wander around the streets and not get mugged , there are quite a few cities that have more than the whole population of Australia and whilst if you do meet a beautiful lady one can either relax and live in China or in Aussie land , a lot of the ladies are not looking for a ticket out , just honest love which they will return 10 fold , having been there quite a few times now , I have never had a drama and now as a family group we will be going back at xmas to Shenyang as Sujuan still has business interests there , but saying that she also through contacts started working here 1 week after arriving here in Jan2010 , but I did have to put my foot down and say only 5 days a week not 7 ha ha .
You will probably find your family will continue to be sceptics until you can show them photo's of you together and they can meet them via webcam , regards Sujuan and Robert .

[Jan]

I just now read Lees story. Everything seemed to be perfect. Except his own familys approval.

This is a cruel story. But brings a teaching that no one really seems to understand early enough.

People don't realize how much their close ones or other things actually mean until they loose it. Or don't know how to appreciate it enough.
Even if I'm writing about this at the moment. I will only remember this for tonight. And then carry on with my life. Its just that every now and then I think about this. And then try to give people and things more value.

[Jason B]

Peter , not really surprised by your families thoughts as unless they have interacted with Chinese people in the past they still think of China as a backward country

I will also add to this that China is a communist country and therefore all the people must be bad or of that political persuasion and therefore can not be trusted.  Well this is what a co-worker said to me when I explained about my upcoming trip last July.  What a tosser, just show how ignorant some people can really be, or chose not to educate themselves on the world.

My family have spoken to Xia via Skype and can not wait to meet her in person.  They accept her for who she is not where she comes from.

[ttwjr32]

 i will add that my family especially my late mom met Sara online and really liked her. but they did object strongly to me
 moving here because the thought of china being communist, the country is backwards compared to ours and probably
unsafe. i told them its safer here than in california. and some cities in the country are a little different but it is a nice
country and if it wasnt why was i coming here to live for 10 years for periods of 3 to 6 months.  just a stigma that many
people have.  this upcoming summer when my oldest son and his wife visit with the 4 kids will give them more feedback
as to were i live and china

[Jimmy]

My 2 little girls 8 and 11 they just love my wife.
Well that was easy, So I guess that means the whole family loves her.   And the people that don't like it, For me that's good reason to do it.

Daddy whats a communist?  They are just a bunch of old hippies living together honey.

[Lee357]

I am doing fine, thank you for your concern. I am still living in China. I live in Chongqing and have a good job and a nice new apartment. Well new to me anyway. It has been a few months now and my Chinese mother is trying to introduce me to girls. I find this very strange, but I am part of the family so she wants me to be happy and have a wife. She is very cunning about it, she never just brings a girl to introduce to me. Instead she invites the mother over for dinner and The daughter comes along. So during my twice weekly dinner with them there is always a new girl for me to meet. The Chinese accept things and move on much faster than us in the west.  Well at least faster than me.