Ratio of scams to legit women

[maxx]

You guys are discussing numbers here.60% to 70% are fake where did these numbers come from?Where did the other number come from 30% to 40% are fake.Is there some paper out there.Written by somebody who has actually talked to all 7,000 ladies on Chnlove.Or any of the other sites out there.And have got the ladies true feeling about all of this.

Yes allot of these relationships do fail.Why?Because of all the things we have ben discussing for the last year.Agency/ translator interference.The lady or the man can't get outside of there own head.And they start over thinking this thing.Bad agencies,Bad communication.No understanding of different culture and customs.a total lack of interest on the part of the man or the women.

Nobody ever said this was going to be easy.If it was easy.Everybody would be doing it.There is no 100% right way.Just because you did it one way.doesn't mean that it is going to work for the next guy.

2 or 3 Emf and you don't get direct contact.You drop the woman.If I had done this I wouldn't be married to my wife.And we wouldn't  have 2 kids.When I met my wife she spoke about three words of English.I spoke one word of Chinese.So this Emf thing you all are whinning about worked for me.Was the translator the middle of it.Yes and I knew that.I could tell by the letters.They were way to friendly way to fast.

My wife has a friend who used to get up 3 hours early everyday to translate her boyfriends letters from English to Chinese.Are any of you guys doing that.I felt so bad for the lady.I talked her boyfriend into sending me the letters first.Then me and my wife would spend 10 minutes and translate the letter to Chinese.Then send it to her.

If you guys really want to do this.Learn a little customs learn a little history.Learn how a Chinese woman thinks.The most popular person on this forum Should be Chen yan.Not because she is so beautiful.But because she has the inside track.On how to hook up with a Chinese woman.Go to China.See what it is really like.Get a idea how it all works.

If I was still looking for a wife.The first person I would talk to is Chen yan.Or one of the other members wife's.Inside track guys.The best sort of information out there.

stop looking for the fakes and the phonies.If that is all your looking for that is all your going to find.

[ttwjr32]

thats a few good points maxx
overthinking and expecting the bad will
surely get you those results i was very lucky
with my wife she spoke good english and it is me
now stumbling to learn chinese. i didnt require good
english as i was willing to learn chinese.

this brings me to this point--- seems like and i could be wrong as i have
                                         no numbers to verify this but many people
                                         think the lady should move and adapt to the
                                         new country and learn that language but what
                                         about us learning their language and culture also
                                         we should not expect them to give everything up
                                         it is a 2 way street. we are not some kind of saviour
                                         for these women but just someone looking for a good
                                         good lady to marry and when we find her we should also
                                         make many concessions in the relationship. ive spoken to
                                         people living here and working who will not marry a chinese
                                         lady because of language and customs? well what do you
                                         expect???  but they are ok to go out with and have fun???
                                          just amazes me what goes thru peoples minds sometime. i ask them
                                         have you learned chinese  they say no??? dont want to to hard???
                                         ok i will shut up

[maxx]

Ted why stop? You have the right idea

[Danny]

Danny,

I am about to go through the wedding picture thing as well.

You spent 5 hours taking pictures?

Is this about the norm? Also what was the cost of your session.

Yes, five hours from beginning to end.

She changed costumes about half a dozen times. And I changed about three times. The photo session just went on and on and on. I was on my best behaviour and so I tried my best to enjoy it, or at the very least to pretend like I did.

We talked to them for about half an hour at the beginning about what she wanted. Then the photo shoot went for over three hours. Then we spent about an hour choosing the photos for the album.

God I was glad to be out of there.

It cost about 1,200 yuan for the session, an album with about thirty pages of photos, and a CD with electronic versions of all of the pictures.

Yes, the photos are a big deal. I would set aside a day for this. Don't try to do them in a rush, or you will end up just upsetting yourself and your woman.

I initially thought this was going to happen in an hour or so. I thought we could do it in an hour or so. The photo shop people were happy to do them when we arrived, at about 7pm but we decided to come back the next day at about noon.

Enjoy!

[ttwjr32]

thanks Maxx,

sometimes i just wonder in amazement at what i hear here in china from westerners.:s
its know wonder at times the women are a litle evasive in contact. maybe its because
they have met some of the knuckleheads here.  the best one i heard was from a man
from shanghai who i met by the consulate here in guangzhou. now mind you he is waiting
for his wife to come out of the interview. he said he has been teaching here in china the
last two years while they waited and he told me  quote  "you should teach here because
you can get all the sex you can handle if your a teacher from the kids you teach and or the moms"

isnt that a pathetic thing to say and we wonder why sometimes we have problems with the
ladies as far as comunicating??? well i told him i had to go i had an appointment and he said
nice to meet you and give it a try. he was probably 30 to 35 and it is people like him that
give the western people a bad rap here in china.  well i do teach part time but its to teach
english a little better than what they recieve in school as i wasnt to impressed with the method
i observed in the schools i went to to see how they did it. so i think the trust has to be built up
because if you dont think they realize that here on what is going on then your fooling yourself.
many ladies i meet think the western man is here just to take advantage of them so they need to
see and gain trust. anyway that is what i have observed here in guangzhou which is a pretty big
city with a very large base of westerners.

[maxx]

Ted yes GZ has allot of westerners I spent 5 days there back in 2007.Me and the wife pass threw there at least twice on every trip to China.

I have a friend in Zhuhai.Every time she would start talking to a westerner.The conversation would turn to sex after a couple of QQ chats.Ore letters.

I was teaching her English.and she had copies of the letters.So I would read the letters.Then help her read them.Most of the letters read like a third rate porno magazine.I couldn't believe some of the stuff that was written in those letters.

My wife has a friend in Shenzhen.Her boyfriend was a foreigner.He came to China.And after a couple of days.He pulls me a side and says hey when does the fun start.You know I flew all this way.Spent all this money.On hotels, gifts, airfare,I had to take time off from work.I want to recoup some of my loses.

I just stood there with my mouth hanging open.I couldn't believe that guy had that kind of attitude.I finally told the guy that it wasn't like that.So he got mad and went to stand with my wife's friend.I told my wife what the man said.My wife told her friend.The man ended up spending the rest of his time in China.Setting in the hotel room watching CCTV9.And trying to get his now ex girlfriend to call him.

The friend in Zhuhai went threw about ten different men.Before she found the one for her.She talked to men from The middle east all the way to the states and everywhere in between.Six of these guys where just looking for a sex partner.The other 4 could never get outside of there heads and take a little risk.

The friend in Shenzhen she ran across a couple of more Western losers.So she gave up completely.Closed her profile on the 2 different web sites that she was on

So yes i understand when these ladies are hesitant around western men.After a while they just get burnt to many times.The rumor mill  will just start spinning among the women.They said she said.My cousin in Wuhan had a foriegn boyfriend.And he was bad.So now we are all bad.

What really gets me is the guys that do it like this.All there doing is cutting there own throats.Give it 5 or 10 years.And foriegn men will have just as bad a reputation as the Chinese men do.When that happens this window of opportunity will be closed for along time.So where does the next generation go?

[ttwjr32]

interesting read Maxx but it confirms what i have heard and seen here
in guangzhou and as we both know it confirms what some of the problem
is with the comunication issues

[David E]

Right on Guys !!!!!

As usual, the desperate drongos make life tough for all the genuine guys trying their best to honestly learn, understand, accept and admire the things that matter most about Chinese Women and Chinese customs and traditions.

To have a lifetime Partnership with any woman, foreign or not , demands that we get to know as much about her and her background, personality, likes, dislikes etc. It is part of the "journey" and will be a great learning and a great pleasure.

And when we even have people posting here about searching for "hotties", with their tongues hanging down to their knees......what sort of a message are we sending to any Chinese Woman who might read the posts, or might learn about them from a friend or some-such.

Chen Yan must blush with embarrassment to read some of this and it is so difficult for the genuine guys to over-ride this sort of guff.

So , If you read this Chen Yan, please understand that not all Western Men are like that :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

DavidE

[ttwjr32]

DavidE,

the ones searching for just hotties just i would think have an
ego problem. when i was young and dumb i always went after
the good looking ones which were defined as the one whom every
one wanted to be with. when i reflect back on what i did in younger
days i wonder how i made it this far.  but you know what???

the lady i am married to is the hottest woman around:icon_biggrin:
why? because of the total package i got when she fell for me.:icon_biggrin:
so if someone looks at her and says she isnt hot   i dont give a rats ### what
they think. i would just say "you should be as lucky as i am"

anyway thats my further 2 cents on this  :icon_biggrin:

[Bee964]

I agree with you Ted. Outer beauty is just that. I did the same as you, always went after the beauty. What a mistake that was. This lady I'm talking with is not the best looking, she is 50, but in her studio shots for her profile she is quite good looking. I have asked for pictures in regular situations and received them. not the same as the studio shots but still this is not what attracted me to her. It is the way that they treat you that makes them smokin' hot. Honesty, loyalty, devotion and honor makes a woman hot, not outer beauty. That will fade with time. Don't get me wrong, if she id good looking too, all the better. I don't have outer beauty high on my list of things that I am looking for in a woman.

[ttwjr32]

i agree Bee     my wife is smokin hot because of the way she is
                    "THE TOTAL PACKAGE'" it took me a while to find her
                     i was about to hang it up when i got her email saying
                     hello and almost didnt answer it as i was fed up with what
                     was happening. i now think that i am lucky i did answer
                     the email because a lady picked me and she turned out
                     wonderful  for this old fat man  :icon_cheesygrin:
                     and to top it off her healthy cooking is making me lose weight.

                     dont get me wrong i wasnt being scammed just that no woman
                     was really getting my attention fully until she and i started chatting
                      and now here we are

[Bee964]

I had heard about all the scams and all. This will happen with any place. There is always someone somewhere in a place of business that is trying to scam someone or something. I really dislike scammers. And to be playing on a guys emotions at that. Wonder how long it will be before some guy looses it and starts trouble in one of the agencies because he feels he has been ripped off? I haven't heard of this happening yet. You know, law of averages and all... it may very well happen sometime.

[ttwjr32]

i wouldnt advise that in china because after u get out of jail
you will be on one of the cargo ships going back the long way :icon_cheesygrin:

[Bee964]

i agree Bee     my wife is smokin hot because of the way she is
                    "THE TOTAL PACKAGE'" it took me a while to find her
                     i was about to hang it up when i got her email saying
                     hello and almost didnt answer it as i was fed up with what
                     was happening. i now think that i am lucky i did answer
                     the email because a lady picked me and she turned out
                     wonderful  for this old fat man  :icon_cheesygrin:
                     and to top it off her healthy cooking is making me lose weight.

                     dont get me wrong i wasnt being scammed just that no woman
                     was really getting my attention fully until she and i started chatting
                      and now here we are

I don't think I have been scammed either. I had met several women here when I first signed up. Picked one out of three that I was writing to and built up a good relationship too. Talked to her for 6 months and then I got a letter that when I read it I turned and looked at my daughter and said" I think I just got a dear john letter." although she didn't come right out and say it. It took a couple more letters to get the answer out of her. So I reactivated my profile and after a couple days I had like 15 admiration letters. This one letter just stood out from all the others. (and yes, there were ladies that I sent the first letter to.) We have been talking now for two months and I am trying to plan a trip to meet her in march. She is in Singapore. I have had pictures from her that are studio pics as well as three that look like regular everyday shots and also one cell phone picture (I think)too. I don't know if she is taking english classes but I had signed up for chinese classes here but they cancelled the class. Bought a self teach course and have been studying it but thats another subject.

[ttwjr32]

tell me about it   learning chinese has made me feel stupid at times but i am
still pursuing it at a slower pace.instead of just word learning i am learning groups of words
so i can string a sentence along and it seems to be working ok or so so i should say.
learning just a word was keeping me from talking a normal sentence. updates on this in
about a year or two  hahahaha