Need another perspective.

[Neil]

Carnegie, it's true, you get what you ask for.  Stop looking for the scam and start looking for direct contact.  You have every right to insist on a webcam meeting.  Add a note to the translator on an emf and tell them you want to see her beautiful smile.  Make it a request the first time, insist the second time and put your foot down the third time.

[ttwjr32]

i agree with Neil i think as paying customers we need to tell them
what and how we would like to talk with our ladies. if it dont get better
we should all pick 1 day and a time frame and send their customer service
inquiries about a specific problem. that would get them going or crash their computer
just a thought maybe a few hundred emails within a short time frame telling them to
correct something or we all leave  :icon_cheesygrin:

[Carnegie]

So, it seems as though she isn't real.  I sent her a note about ten minutes ago saying how disappointed I was that I hadn't gotten an email from her via real email, how I didn't want to only use EMF and wanted to webcam before I left.  I got this about two minutes after she allegedly received it:

Hi my daring,


I miss you a lot here. I think you are also there thinking of me, right? Hehe, you know I am waiting for your kisses, I believe you will turn up soon, right?

Oh, it is really cold here. I feel my hands are frozen. I need your hands and your kisses to warm me. Maybe you are now sleeping on your warm bed, why didn't you ask me to join you? It should be very comfortable when cuddle with you.

Hope there is smile on your face when reading my letter. You know I want to be your angel, always bring you happiness, smiles and good luck! Feel you in my real life which is what I am waiting for! I know I will achieve it in the spring, I feel so excited now!

I bet our kisses could warm the whole world.

Sincerely yours,

Yiki

Nothing even showing that she had read my note today.  Plus, there's also a "U" there: it hasn't even been delivered.  Barring some sort of weird coincidence, it seems as though I've been had.

So, where do I *need* to go in GZ and see whilst there?  Is a roadie to Shenzhen/Hong Kong a definite *must do*?  Seems as though I've got a great amount of free time suddenly.

[Willy The Londoner]

Stay in GZ my friend.   I think it is the second largest city in Guangdong.   Ted can tell you just how many pretty women are there.

It is a great place to stay.  Your problem - is that you are traveling in the spring holiday period.  Hotels and transport will be full.   Trains - you cannot just turn up and take a train - you will need to book.  Last wee, even before the main rush gets underway, the first train that I could book was 26 hours later, and there were two train an hour running, that is how busy they were then.

Come the holiday it will be chaotic.

Willy

[Neil]

don't jump the gun.  U does indeed mean undelivered.  I would hope and assume that the translators are taking that letter seriously and working on contacting her to set something up.  In the mean time, they've sent you a letter, it could have been send by your lady before you sent yours and they only translated it after you sent yours, or it was written by a translator posing as your lady.  Either way, 24 hour rule would apply - don't go jumping down their throat before they've had a chance to acknowledge the letter you sent.  If you go and block her before she has a chance to reply, you'll be cutting ties prematurely.

[mustfocus]

Sorry to hear about that.  But I would recommend following the 24 hour rule first.  If she sends another message, one that doesn't answer anything, then you might consider visiting one or two agencies that some of the other fellas have used.

As for stuff in that region, I'm sure the others can give you better advice.  But you should tell us what kinds of things you like.  For example, Lantau Island would be my recommendation...Giant Buddha statue.  Not something you see everyday.  But it might not be your cup of tea...

[maxx]

Carnegie what the hell are you doing? Did you fall into your own head.And get to over thinking this? It looks like it to me. You need to get the hell out of your own head before you wreck this.

Do I have your attention now. 3  months on EMF and she doesn't want to play your game.Do you know why she doesn't want to play your game.What is her Situation? How is Her English.How computer literate is she? How old is she? has she ben married before? Has she talked to other foreigners before? Did the other foreigner leave her in a bad spot?How many letters a week.One,two.Seven? Is all her agency fees payed up?You do know that if the ladies registration fees are not payed up.That some agencies wont let the lady go to web cam or private Emails.Because they haven't got all there money yet.

These are things that all come into play.When your trying to start a romance with a woman on the other side of the world.She is not a western women.She is probably Chinese.You need to consider all of this.

What did you write in that letter? Did you tell the lady that you will have a web cam chat.Ore it's over? If I had ever tried that with my wife.She would of kicked me to the curb.Why because I made her mad and she didn't know me.So why waste the time.On somebody that don't believe her.( Chinese woman thinking)

That last letter you received was all translator.Have you ben talking to the translator this whole time NO.Go back and read your own posts.In this thread.You said you received day to day pictures.And pictures of the lady holding the Christmas presents you sent to her.

Way to elaborate setup.How would  the agency get the woman to agree.You think maybe there paying her money? If the agency was paying the woman to write you.She would of got out.The first time you asked for a web cam.Why make something complicated when you can just step out and move to the next person.

24 HOUR RULE LIVE IT LOVE IT LEARN IT.You are headed down the same path a couple of other members here.Have already ben down.They started doubting there lady.When they had no reason to doubt the lady.They didn't follow the 24 hour rule.Then they wrote something really silly in a Emf or to personell Email.And it was over for them before they knew what hit them.

No matter what you read on this forum or any other forum out there.That deals with this subject matter.You are going to have doubts.The lady your writing to has doubts to.It is part of the process.Of trying to start a romance with somebody from a different country.With a different laungage and different customs.How you Handel these doubts and fears will determine the out come of this relationship

Hell I spent the first month of me and my wife's relationship.Trying to get my dam foot out of my mouth.and half of the time I could not figure out why she was mad at me.I did it or said it.Just like I would do it with any other American woman

Then one day I woke up and realized my wife is not American.And the funny things I do.Look just as funny to her. It's all part of the process.

If you do not get your attitude in the right place.This is not going to work.With out the right attitude you are just wasting your money and time.And messing up some Chinese woman.To the point that the next guy that writes to her. will never even get a Chance with her. From what you have posted on this thread.I don't see any red flags.

Maxx

[ttwjr32]

Maxx,

i disagree with you that we spend the first month only with our foot in our mouth
that tends to pop up at various times throughout the relationship with these beautiful
women because of the culture difference. hell i think i have mine in when i relax and do
what i used to at least a few days a month but its worth it dont you agree??? my wife
just sets me straight on some of the differences right away and its over at least she doesnt stay
mad at me for long:icon_biggrin:

[Bee964]

Carnegie, I too have been following this thread. It is a subject that we all have an interest in. I agree with Maxx though. You have an investment in time and EMF cost. What would be the harm in meeting her? She has given you a picture of herself with a gift that you sent her. Does the picture match her profile picture? Then you would know that she is real. The first lady that i wrote to only wrote back 3 or 4 times a week. I got her flowers twice. I also got pictures of her holding the flowers a little while later, 1 to 2 weeks I think. It only did not work out because of a situation with her daughter. I never got the chance to meet her. I would have been getting ready to go there now too. You have paid for the trip there. If it is a little more to go to where she lives, I say pay it and go meet her. You have already made the investment. You have nothing to loose. Well maybe a return train or bus ticket. You may be throwing away the chance of a lifetime of happiness. That is worth more to me that a years worth of EMF letters! I say go ahead and meet her. You have already paid your dollar for your spin of the wheel of love, why bailout before you let it stop spinning?

Maxx,

i disagree with you that we spend the first month only with our foot in our mouth
that tends to pop up at various times throughout the relationship with these beautiful
women because of the culture difference. hell i think i have mine in when i relax and do
what i used to at least a few days a month but its worth it dont you agree??? my wife
just sets me straight on some of the differences right away and its over at least she doesnt stay
mad at me for long:icon_biggrin:

I agree with your disagreement Ted. Wait, is that right??? Well anyways I try to keep my foot out of my mouth as much as possible. I know it will end up there throughout the relationship from time to time though.

[ttwjr32]

the vast traditions they have fromm 6000 yrs tends to have us
put our feet in our mouths at times :icon_biggrin:

[JimB]

Personally from my experience you have a right to be suspicious but do NOT let it stop you from at least going to meet her.  Maxx is 100% right. Use the 24 hour rule.  You absolutely cannot go wrong if you use it.  I do not want to go into my own story again but suffice it to say that I am one of the luckiest men here.  I have a wife that I would not trade for anyone else in the world.  I was really in the same situation that you are.  it turns out that the agency sent most of the letters that was supposedly from her.  she was almost forced to meet me when I got there.  But it turned out we were meant to be together.  so at least man go there and meet her.  Do NOT do anything stupid and call it off before that.  have back up plans? Absolutely.  Go see Ted, go to the agencies personally.  Let them set up meetings with the women there.  You have time and there are many things to do and see in China you will not see anywhere else in the world.  So go with a plan to have fun no matter what happens with the woman.  I cant stress that enough.  Do NOT screw it up before you meet her at least.  As Maxx said get out of your own head and just go.  You cannot lose going with that attitude. Also a lot of us have friends there that you could meet.  Look at Scott now.  There are too many guys here that will help you if you let them.

Jim

[Bee964]

By the way, I may have seen it but I can't find it again, can you tell me what Maxxs' 24 hour rule is?

[maxx]

Bee 24 HOUR RULE LIVE IT LOVE IT LEARN IT 24 hour rule says.No matter what crazy thing your women says to you.In a letter webcam chat ore on the phone.You are not to comment on it for 24 hours.

24 hours gives you a chance to slow down to think about what the lady said.It also gives you a chance to post the question or situation here.Where the other members can discuss it amongest them selves.After 24 hours you will have a much better idea how to reply to the lady.

24 hour rule works good as long as the members remember to use it.9 out of 10 times it is just a missed communication between the lady and the man.Or a difference in custom and culture.

I came up with the rule.After I had to extract my foot out of my mouth on more then one occasion.And almost wrecked my own relationship with my wife.In the end it all came down to a missed communication.Or I didn't know about a certain Chinese custom.And it was fixable.As long as I thought about it and didn't say any  more stupid things.

[odysseus007]

Bee 24 HOUR RULE LIVE IT LOVE IT LEARN IT 24 hour rule says.No matter what crazy thing your women says to you.In a letter webcam chat ore on the phone.You are not to comment on it for 24 hours.

Haha, Jack Bauer will have a hard time sitting on his hands for 24 hours :icon_cheesygrin:

[Carnegie]

Bee 24 HOUR RULE LIVE IT LOVE IT LEARN IT 24 hour rule says.No matter what crazy thing your women says to you.In a letter webcam chat ore on the phone.You are not to comment on it for 24 hours.

Haha, Jack Bauer will have a hard time sitting on his hands for 24 hours :icon_cheesygrin:

The world would have ended five times by now if Jack had sat for 24 hours.

Yes, I am going to go see her anyways.  It just won't be the huge rush "I've landed and now have to get there" kind of thing.  I'll put it off for a day or two instead.  Thanks  all of you for your input and help!