Question...

[trwme]

Hi guys, newbie here. I have a question, and I apologize if this is covered somewhere else here-I've gone through several threads and haven't seen it mentioned, and it's impractical to go through every thread. I joined chnlove a couple of weeks ago. Of course, I received several admiration letters right off. The very first one contained the lady's email address, and an invitation to write her there-thus avoiding paying for the EMF, naturally, although she did not mention this to me. She and I have been writing emails back and forth since then, basically every day.

My question(s) is(are), is this a typical ploy there? To send an email address to get you started and hooked? Also, she says she uses her translator to write the emails. Since I have not paid a cent on the site yet, I am wondering if a translator at one of the agencies would really do this for her.

None of the other admiration emails have contained an email addy. I've been there long enough and read on the forums there (and now here) to know that when you add someone to your favorites list the agency might send you a letter 'from' someone you added. But at the time I received the email from this woman, I had not added anyone to my favorites. Did I just get lucky? Or is this an agency ploy, with one of the agency translators trying to bait me into spending some money there by writing me, getting my hopes up, and then ending it-thinking I will then naturally spend the money to write other women?

Currious. I know she is reading and responding to the emails I have sent her, and she asks legitimate questions about me in relation to the things I've told her about me and my past so far-things you'd expect to be asked, and some things that would seem to be tailored to answer her particular interests in what she is looking for on her profile.

BTW, I am not a newbie on internet dating sites. I've been at them for a while now, and actually met and married one woman from one-long story there as to why that didn't work out in the end.

Thanks in advance.

[maxx]

Ok I don't see a problem here.Let see if I can answer some of your questions.

# 1 Your lady is probably friends with the agency owner.Or all of your ladies fees have ben payed.Or she has ben registerd with the agency long enough that they are letting her get by for free.

# 2 your lady could have a friend who is a translator.Or be a translator.A few translators have ben known to jump the fence.And start looking for there own husband.

# 3 yes it sounds like you got lucky.

# 4 yes I guess the translator could be scamming you.But why? there is much easer ways to scam somebody then writing them.Getting them to China.Making you mad.And then try to calm you down enough so that you would talk to another woman from the same agency.And if you are all ready in China.Why would you want to write Emf letters?Way to much work.Way to many things can go wrong with this.

I think if the lady was trying to scam you you would be paying for the EMF right from the start.They would Wate it out as long as they could.Then dump you. Chnlove EmF revenue is huge.I can't see them giving up that much money for something more elabrate.

If your curios how much money the average person who registers with Chnlove spends on Emf alone. Mine was about 400.00 .I know other members on this forum who have doubeld or trippeld that number.We have 350 members here.Lets say as a average they spend 400.00 times 350 members.140,000.00 Dollars.And We are only a small percentage of the actual members who were registerd with Chnlove.I'm sure ther membership is up over 300,000 easy.

So that puts a end to the scam theory like I said before way to many things could go wrong way to fast for Chnlove to deal with them.

I think you got extrmely lucky.And If I was you I would just ride it out to see where it is going you.Arn't out any money at this point.The only thing you are out is a little time to write the letters

[stuart barlow]

i've a couple of hundred admirer mails since i started on chnluv and none with
a email address,im just wondering how it got past the translator,unless slipped
a backhander?normally you have to pay 2 credits for that info.
i cant see any scam or anything dodgy as it costing you nothing,agencies make
there money of emf,so if she is paying for translations or gets it done free,then go
for it......ps ask her if she can get some email addresses thrown in to some of my
admirer mails ......bloody hell Maxx you beat me to it.

[Vince G]

One of the dozen ladies I wrote sent the email address after a few EMF's. She paid in full on the contract so was able to do this and she knew english very well.

It's possible you got lucky, but beware if within a month there is an emergency and asks for money? If not your in the clear. Good Luck

[trwme]

Thanks Maxx. I quess I am just naturally suspicious of dating sites, and the contact format of chnlove is a new one for me. I just wanted to be sure I wasn't missing some angle on this. I kinda like this lady so far, and I just wanted to be sure there wasn't something that was going over my head. I almost feel guilty that I haven't spent any money there yet, while everyone else has spent so much, and I already have a private (and free) convo with a (seemingly) nice and interested lady, lol. Pretty too, but I realize the glamour shot photos aren't going to be completely representative of what she actually looks like. The inside of the package is far more important, and I'm not exactly a greek god.

I just don't want to waste a lot of time crafting questions to her trying to figure out some scam angle I haven't encountered before. It just seemed peculiar to me, from what I can understand of the contact format and how chnlove makes their money, that I would receive private contact info from someone right off the bat.

It also occurs to me now that if she is spending her own money to get these emails written, then perhaps I should spend the money so she doesn't have to. Maybe I should ask her if she is paying for it or not.

Vince, I'll watch out for any money requests. That is of course always a huge red flag on these dating sites. I guess I also should ask her about her contract status. Like I said to Maxx, this contact format is new to me, so every bit of info and advice is useful.



Stuart, I'll see what I can do about some email addys for ya, lol. ;~)

[ttwjr32]

i agree with what Maxx said   ride it out and see what develops. even in the end
if you had to spend 2 or 3 hundred what is that 2 dates in the USA? now? thats if
you go to a couple of nice places. anyway right now you seem lucky to get the
direct email so i would see what happens

[maxx]

Trwme glad I could help.I thought about the scam asking for money latter.But then again they are still loosing the Emf money.And since Trwme is getting the letters for free he is probably burning up the Internet writing letters everyday.Maybe even 2 letters a day.

So the lady would have to ask for a big sum of money to make this pay.And if she asks for a big sum of money to quick.It will send up the red flags.And then Trwme is out of there.So the lady has lost the money on the letters.And what ever money she was after in the first place.If she asks for the money slowly.The Emf charges keep adding up.And she would be asking for huge sums of money.That brings us back around to Trwme.Just running away.It's a lose lose situation for the woman and the agency.

A few years ago my wife had a friend who was friends with a agency owner in Zhuhai.When my wife's friend signed up at the Agency.They waved all the fees for the woman.The Emf fees the meet and greet fees the marriage fee.So the man in this relationship.Didn't pay for anything except his flight hotel and the wedding party in China.And other odds and ends.

This is just how China works.It's all about contacts.Take a look a Irishmans thread.In it he mentions a women named Yamaha.Now this lady Yamaha is a good person to know.It sounds like she can get whatever she wants.Because she has allot of different contacts.

My mother inlaw is good at throwing names around.Anytime somebody gives my mother inlaw a hard time.She tells them her big American son in law is coming to Dinner.Ive never met any of these people who are giving my mother in law a hard time.But whatever is bothering my mother inlaw gets fixed.

Ive ben credited with running off my sister in laws bad boyfriend .And making some guy who pushed my mother in law down.To pay my mother in law's hospital bill and give her money for pain and suffering.

If the truth be known I don't think it has anything to do with me.My mother inlaw is friends with the retired police commissioner in JiuJiang.So she can get done anything she thinks needs done.It's just the way China works.

Sorry Trwme we got off subject here a little.But I thought I needed to justify my answers to the other members who haven't figured out how China really works.I still stand by my original advice.Just ride it out.You should be ok.With this woman.

My only other advice is to move quickly on this.Don't Waite 6 or 7 months to go see this woman.I personally wouldn't Waite more then two months.Because it doesn't give you a Chance to get inside your own head.And over think this thing.And with most people seeing is believing.It will put allot of your fears and doubts to rest.

Maxx

[ttwjr32]

the chinese have a word for that but it eludes me at the moment
but 1 favor deserves another and it is used widely here. maybe you
can enlighten us on the word Maxx

[maxx]

Ted I didn't know there was a name for it in China.In New Mexico.They call it the good ole boy syndrome.And It is a live and well in China and New Mexico.

[trwme]

Hi Maxx, no need to apologize for the extra info...every little bit helps! The 'who you know' thing seems to be universal. That could be a good thing to know.

Unfortunately it will be a while before I can make a trip to China. Just a working Joe here, although I do ok. It will take some planning for me to do this, and I want to learn as much as I can about her, the culture there, and try to pick up some of the language before I make the trip. That's why I am here; to learn as much as I can, and be as prepared as possible. I went into this with a bit of a gameplan, and from what I had understood about how chnlove works from what I could read when I joined, I did not expect to be in a private convo so quickly.

Also, from what I have read here (and on the chnlove forums) I'd like to make a few contacts before I go there, in case this one does not work out. Get the most 'bang for the buck' so to speak, and maybe meet more than one lady while I am there. I'm not a player, but I am not wealthy like some of ya'll seem to be! ;~)  So I want to make my first trip count as much as possible. As it has been noted here, you never know until you meet in person; I've already experienced THAT in people I've met on other dating sites. I want the right lady for me, and I want to make sure I am the right one for her as well.

lol...but yeah, I have to admit I might have a tendency to overthink things at times!

[Bee964]

Wait.... there is a meet and greet fee I have to pay??? What if there is no agency there?

Dave C

[Vince G]

No Bee the lady pays the fees unless she talks you into it? But all agency fees are hers.

[Bee964]

I knew about she had to take care of the agency fees, and I thought I knew them all. I had never heard of the meet and greet fee. I had heard of the success fee too.

Dave C

[mustfocus]

That's why you get the direct contact information as quickly as possible.  Especially in your situation as if you take this off the grid, they won't know about any meeting fees...and you can phase them out.

[Vince G]

No, that's why they don't give the info unless the ladies paid up. Each contract is different by the agency but there are three fees. Joining, meeting and success. 3 payments. They are suppose to meet you at the airport with the translator and at sometime they slip in a conformation to sign of the meeting.