Yeah Ted, was I speaking Chinglish? SOrry about the bananas ...
I keep forgetting my camera but I still have 7 days with my sweetheart so we'll see ...
Happy New Year to you all! Mine is already happy, there have been some new developments in the last 12 hours ...
First of all I would like to do Zhanjiang justice, n the morning it is fairly clean, I guess the cleaning squads operate during the night and my first impression of the town was in the evening. We did a bit of walking, the roads are nicely planted with palm trees in vast numbers, it's funny though that you walk under coconut trees, I wonder how it feels when one of them decides to land on your head. I spotted some military ships and learned that Zhanjiang is the second largest naval base in China after the one in Shandong, all the same it is quite sweet and must be a nice place to live.
My baby called me just a minute after I woke up around 9:30, remember what I said about her timing? We seem to be perfectly synced. The plan is to meet up in a little while but I tell her to spend some time with her dad and rest of the family if she wants to, after all she does not see them that often. I'm not hungry but dying for coffee and there is none to be had in the hotel so I walk about and get one in KFC, horrible coffee but better than nothing I guess, I'll try Macdowlow next time since I have one right next to me, actually everything is right next to me, my hotel is in the largest central street of Zhanjiang.
Tomorrow is Valentine's day and I wanted to get her something, I think I have reached the conclusion that she is the one, so it should be something nice. There is a jewelry shop in one of the malls and I start examining necklaces and pendants as Brother's friend's wife walks in with their 4 year old son, he says "hello uncle", and his mom, explains she is sorry not to be able to spend the morning with me because she is busy, but still hangs around and "helps" me choosing a heart shaped pendant and a necklace in white gold for my Valentine. Obviously she sees the price ... I hope she won't tell on me, actually I'm sure she will
. I draw enough cash to pay for the gift and get it nicely packed, the shop assistants are super friendly and put together something really nice. Remember the timing? Just as I leave the shop I get an SMS from my sweetheart saying she's in the lobby, about 200m away, I tell her to come and meet me half way which we do about 2 minutes later, but she is not alone, brother is with her as well as her half sister, a lovely girl just finishing her tourism major in college and she has excellent English, no wonder as daddy was an English teacher and apparently forced her to learn English with military discipline. We take a bus to go to lunch, there are only few taxis on duty and the car is being used by brother's best friend to run some errands. Food is excellent as always, we enjoy it in a Western style coffee shop and have a lot of fun conversing. My sweetheart gets a little left out because most of it is in English and she has the least of it, but she is patient and doesn't seem to mind. They all teach me Chinese all the time, it's like a family project, I feel so bad when I can't remember certain things but they are all very patient. As the ladies go to powder their noses at the end of the meal, brother speaks a serious word with me. He told his father I was a customer/business friend but says the story will not hold up because of all the sparks flying between me and his sister, so he wants to discuss this with me and her and devise a strategy. Miraculously we manage to get a cab, pick up my laundry (hurray !!) and go to a hairdresser for the ladies, except that they are busy and have tripled their prices so we cancel that idea, the ladies will dress their hair themselves and brother and me go get his car which is available again. I get introduced to another friend as this happens, super friendly again, these people are so nice it's almost unreal. I change into something fresh in the hotel and when I come down, brother's friend, wife and son are in the car and we go to buy New Year fruit for 3 families, basically a boot full of boxes, mainly apples and oranges in luxury packaging special for the festivities. In the car, brother's friend's wife takes my QQ number, I will practice her English with her, and she wants to introduce me to an English teacher who could teach me Chinese. We drop off the first load of fruit at the friend's mom's place who happens to walk by and says a friendly hello to me. When they return, the friend's wife hands me a package with food that her mother in law made herself and gave her for me ... they are so nice, my god this is getting overwhelming. We then drop off the friend's family and go close to dad's place and drink some iced tea waiting for my love to turn up to discuss our strategy for introductions to the family. Brother asks me how I feel and remarks that we seem very happy together. As he asks my eyes get cloudy because I realize how deep my feelings are for her, I sort of knew but his question prompted a clearing up in my mind, I have no doubts. I confirm and tell him that I was certain about her, and that I would not mind making it official if she agrees to this. She arrives a few minutes later. We have not really talked about our future together, so I don't officially know what she thinks although I know she loves me, but maybe this is a bit fast. It seems crazy for me but again, it feels right. He asks her how she feels about our relationship, doesn't tell her what I told him. She answers without hesitation that she is sure about us and brother tells me ... and then says that he is really happy for us and I know he means it, we have talked a lot the last few days and have started to know and appreciate each other, I think we will be great friends, in a way we already are. So we decide to introduce me as the official boy friend in view of marriage. Now that this is decided we head to dad's house for the official introduction.
Dad is not well unfortunately, he suffers badly from Parkinson's and can barely move or speak. Nevertheless I am greeted with a warm smile, he does not let go of my hand until eventually he invites me to sit down, in English! Brother does the introductions, I am nervous to be honest, dad never takes his eyes off me but keeps smiling and approves our relationship after a few minutes. His wife also greets me with a warm smile, she is an angel and has taken care of dad and his illness the last 20 years, family really means something here. With this accomplished, we load everybody in the car and go to New Year's dinner in a Hotel also frequented by Deng Xiaoping, and I am coached on how to act with the family, we will be a total of 15 at dinner, the head of the family being an 84 year old uncle who lives in Canada but is over every year for Spring Festival.
Dinner is in a private room with a humongous table and rotating glass platter. I say hello from far first, am invited to sit by the head of the family who hands out red envelopes to the younger and single family members. Once everyone is there, I am prompted to get up and greet everyone individually in the order of rank (age) which I do, with a big smile which is the polite thing to do. During the dinner, the uncle interrogates brother about me, he is concerned but seems to accept things in the end and smiles and invites me to take the first bite of the first dish, which I am told I should serve him to show respect, which I do of course, except that I fumble with the larger chopsticks ... which draws general laughter. Family discussions go in Zhanjiang dialect but I am surrounded by my English speaking team and they make sure I am always included in the conversation. Half sister teaches me customs and tradition, we chat about this and that and the dinner is very enjoyable thanks to the excellent food and company. Of course I am being observed by everyone with great curiosity, but in a friendly way, and I get complimented on the use of my chopsticks, again everyone is really nice and slowly my nervousness fades.
The food is outrageously good and keeps coming, we ate fish, shrimp, sand-worm (delicious although scary), shark fin soup, abalone, marinated chicken, fish stomach, sea cucumber (delicious), a collection of vegetables dishes, French croissant, sweet rolls, some rice of course, and the meal finishes with a dessert, 3 white sweet balls in a sweet sauce, the roundness of the balls symbolizing family reunion and I am told that the fact that I am getting them means I am accepted in the family. My sweetheart, brother and half sister all serve me in turns, I almost never got a chance to serve myself. I notice that the hierarchy plays a role for the most exquisite foods, the younger women only eat one abalone, I get two and the elderly get three ... Uncle doesn't like smoke or alcohol it seems, we all drink tea and brother takes me out for a quick smoke but makes sure we are not gone more than 3 minutes, I guess that would be impolite. The dinner ends at 8pm and uncle pays between 4 and 5K RMB, and we exit the restaurant, a quick friendly goodbye is spoken, I thank uncle for the dinner and we are back in the car drop off dad and head into town. Brother leaves us to play mahjong and we go to the hotel for a rest.
Around 11:30pm, I give my sweetheart her present and we go out to watch some fireworks. It sounds like Zhanjiang is at war, explosions and chain guns everywhere, we walk for about two hours and manage to have a good talk without the Besta, she is learning fast and still continues to teach me Chinese now and again. We discuss marriage and whether it would be reasonable to decide so fast, we agree that it's not reasonable but that it feels right, so I think to myself: what the heck? I ask her in Chinese, studied that one hard but it takes 4 or 5 tries before she understands
She tells me she will consider it, but she is playing, I know the answer is yes... I guess I should have bought a ring instead of a necklace, but I will do that outside of China, I hope I can finalize by coming April, either she will come to me, or I will return to China yet again.
Our stroll ends at her dad's house and we say goodnight. I manage the 10 minute walk back to the hotel without getting lost and even find a shortcut, this is all becoming way to familiar and I am enjoying it a lot.
So I guess we're engaged, have family approval and are hopefully on the way to a bright future together. My fiancée is wonderful, her family is wonderful, I feel like the luckiest man in the world!
Frank
