This is probably one of the most difficult aspects of getting together with a chinese lady. But definitely a topic that
should be covered and discussed in depth. As should a variety of other topics also.
The best way to approach this issue is to show the best of both cultures. Emphasize the parts of the chinese culture
that is positive and at the same time do the same for your culture. Take the best traditions, the best foods,the best
stories,and lessons and make your own lives and raise your children to know who they are and were they come from
and give them the tools to CHOOSE were they are going. Not be told were they will go and what they will do. Its when
people get hung up on stuff like this(tradition) that problems arise. Independance is a big part of the western culture and not saying
it is the best way, but saying that people should intergrate the best of both cultures and raise the kids. Dont really need
to have the parents living with you retired to raise successful happy children.
There are many options such as, will both work,will one stay at home a few years, day care, nanny's, housekeepers all of
these are the options you have and need to discuss as to which one will work best for you. If you do this and show love
and respect in the family,teach right from wrong then the foundation is laid for them to have a successful life as long as
they make the right decisions when they get older. you teach but cant make the decision for them in later life.
These discussions are very important and the decisions should be made between the two of you as to how you want to
raise your children and not solely based on a tradition. When in a multi cultural relationship you have to take the best of
both and intergrate it into one household to have a happy home. one dimensional usually doesnt work out and puts a strain
on both parties. Im just basing this on what my freinds have done in thier relationships and see that they are happy and the
children are doing well. But it is from the foundation they have laid in thier homes that have given the children this. by the way
all my friends wives stayed home until the children were able to go to school and then the ladies went back to work. That worked
out best for them in thier situations and were what they wanted to do. All 13 of them have been married for over 10 years now
and very happy and the kids are doing well and happy. I am the only one who married a lady who is closer to my age. They all
married chinese ladies 15 to 20 years younger than them. They all live in the USA with a peroid of time living in China in the beginning,
and after my divorce from my ex of 24 years, their relationships is what led me in this direction to marry a lady from China along with
the fact of some of the western women i dated after my divorce which is a whole different mini series of events that would be to long to
write here :icon_cheesygrin:
