YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....

[rockycoon]

1.  If your wife asks you to remove the transmission so she can
     take a bath...

2. If the primary color of your car or truck is "bondo"...

3. If you cut the front lawn and find the pickup truck you lost
    last winter.

4. If granny comes running from the outhouse, and says : ya-all
    come and look at the size of this before I flush it.

5. If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, takes a
    pair of slippers, house coat, and a flashlight.



I know you guys got more....post em...:icon_cheesygrin:

[shaun]

6.  If you respond to this thread...  :huh:  Oops. :dodgy:

[Willy The Londoner]

From a refined gentleman formerly from the City of London:angel::  What is a Redneck?  Could I be one without knowing it?  I have never ever cut a lawn - a line of cke maybe but never a lawn as my window box was never that big.

Maybe I am as I see toilets have come into this equation once more!!!

Willy

[ttwjr32]

Wiily,

it is a term used in the USA for caucasians of lower social and economic status
Jeff Foxworthy has made a pretty good living out of this on the curcuit doing
standup comedy

[shaun]

You might be a redneck if your mother was the best man at your wedding.

[rockycoon]

those are great, keep them coming

You might be a redneck if, you have 2 rifles and a fishing pole across the back window of your pickup....

You might be a redneck if,  your on a "heavy date" and its your first cousin....

You might be a redneck if, there is a family of mice living in the seat of your truck and its 4th generation...

You might be a redneck if,  the starter key for your truck is a bent nail...

[Neil]

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .


If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .


If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada ..


If you've had a lengthy  telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada ..


If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .


If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .


If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .


If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada .


If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada ..


If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in  Canada .


If you carry jumper cables in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .


If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada .


If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 95 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada ..


If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada .


If you know all 4  seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
You may live in Canada .  
(this is my favorite, because how true)

If you have more  miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .

If you  find -2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .

If you  actually understand these jokes,
and forward them to all
your friends,

you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.

[JimB]

You might e a redneck if:

You have a Waffle House Credit card

Your inside furniture becomes your outside

If your family tree has no branches

If you go to your family reunion just to find your next wife

If you go to a 5 star hotel and the manager complains that your underwear is hanging off the balcony drying, wait a minute, been there for that one.

[Josh Markley]

If you think a quarter horse is a ride out front of the wal-mart,
You might be a Redneck.

If You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law,
You might be a Redneck.

If the people on the Jerry Springer show remind you of your neighbors,
You might be a Redneck.

If a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack,
You might be a Redneck.

If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle,
You might be a Redneck.

[Irishman]

Ok, I'll bite, why are the yokels called "rednecks" in N America - too much sun exposure from all that loafing around?

[Willy The Londoner]

Ok I think I get it.   A red neck should not worry about getting divorced - cos they will still be brother and sister!!!!

Willy

[shaun]

If you measure distance in hours,   Goes for Texans too
You may live in Canada .


If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .

You might live in Georgia too and I don't know you that well!!!

If you are enjoying this threat a little to much.   You might be a redneck.   Oops!  :icon_eek:
If your avitar used to be John Wayne.  You might be a redneck. :angel:

[Scottish_Rob]

If your avitar used to be John Wayne.  You might be a redneck. :angel:

HAAHAAHA...Nice one Shaun

[rockycoon]

A redneck is what is mentioned above, but also refers to those with short haircuts where the hair on the back of your neck
is cut so short and high, that the sun burns the back of your neck...hence the term "Red Neck".  By the way, they are the oppisite of
Hippy with long hair.

Shaun, nice one,  I owe you one.....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:  You-all can marry billie-jean, my first cousin, she can make a mean bean stew and can
pluck a chicken faster than ole red the dog can catch a rabbit for dinner....hahaha

you might be a redneck if the antlers on your hood are still attached
to the deer you hit an hour ago...:icon_cheesygrin:

[Vince G]

I don't know if I'm comfortable having my neighbors talked about this way?

One night the maintenance guy knocked on my door asking if I had a bear? A bear? (WTF?) Ohhh a Beer?

They no longer have short hair. Some do but most have the mullet.

mullet: A hairstyle in which the front is cut trim, but the back is long, left wild and often uncut. Even when the back is cut, it is still longer than the front. It is the sign of the redneck.