My short story on being too nieve when I was a newbie

[jeffm]

I wasn’t going to post this and went back and forth of doing it or not, but I decided what the h***.  This could be a book, but I’ll spare you the details.  In fact I don't know why I made this post.  Maybe just to vent to you guys.  

I split up with the only Chinese woman I fell in love with to date last July.  It took me until September to get my company laptop back.  She kept making excuses, as she wanted to keep it, but I stayed on her a** until she gave it  up.  When I got it back the operating system was re-installed, so I knew there must have been something to hide.  Knowing that by doing this does not erase information, so I planned on having a forensic company go in and pull the information.  I waited until January to do this. I went back and  forth of wanting to do it and saying to heck with it.  I finally went through with it.  I sent in the hard drive to a forensic company right before my January 19th trip.  When I returned I was given the files and found she was two-timing me.  She was a translator in an agency in Nanning and I thought at the time I was writing a girl when I was actually writing her and she me.  Long story short we fell in love with each other (I think) and made our commitments to cut off any other ties to women and men that we were currently talking to.  Being an English graduate and studying western culture she knew the right cdryatch phrases to lure me in.  She did the same with this other guy as I read the texts they had back and forth.  The same shit was said to him as it was to me.  Back then I started catching on to her game and put pressure on the relationship because something didn’t feel right,  as I was on the cusp of bringing her over on a work visa since she worked for my company.  It was a quicker way to get her here and she wanted to com here.  Well long story short she saw that I was beginning to be a tougher sell as the other guy was quite nieve, so she took the path of least resistance and dumped me.  I had no idea at the time there was another guy, and she turned the situation on me as if it was my fault, which I believed for all these months up until a couple weeks ago.  My 7 year old daughter was hurt by this as she was so excited this girl was coming to be with us.  They talked several times on MSN and my daughter fell in love with her also.  Seeing my daughter hurt as worse than the pain I had.  I don’t believe for a minute all Chinese women are like this, but the situation still has made me bitter. My knee jerk reaction is to play those girls for all it's worth and leave them to dry.  I could write much more, but will  leave it here.  I am going back to China on Monday March 1st and will be there for  the entire month.  I am getting back on the horse  as I know these women are the best.  I just ran into a little bad luck, and I can guarantee you that this will never happen again.  I just wish I had the laptop scanned a long time ago.  Oh and if I do run into this type of situation again I will play that person for all it's worth.  In fact a part of me wishes another would come along trying to pull the same sh**.  lol

I can hear DavidSo telling me now that I am looking too young  and should shoot for an older one lol.

[Arnold]

Wow Jeff !
Can't blame you for wanting to get even with someone her likes . But what will that give you in the long run ? A piece of MInd ? Satisfaction of some kind ? But after all , it will  account to nothing really . Why not let them be miserable in their own " BED " that they made for themselves and you just walk away .. with what you have learned from this experience . You'll be smarter and she'll be still what she most likely alway's be .. dishonest .
Thanks for sharing this with us .

[David5o]

jeffm,

First of all, i would point out here that, Nanning is one of the cities in China that brings up red flags on the UK Boarder Control (Immigration) system. So it seems it does have a reputation of sorts. ...lol!! Likewise, Shanghai, has a very strong red flags too!!

As for the older women, Yes, you would be on much firmer ground, and you'd probably find everything your really looking for too. As i said before, there are some real drop dead gorgeous ladies over there, that could give the younger ladies a real run for the money as far as looks are concerned. But everyone here must follow there own criteria for finding that perfect woman for them....

That seemed a very intricate scam on her part, just shows you, what some of these women are capable of when they set there mind to it. I'm sure that the she learned much from the translation job at one of the agencies. She certainly knew what buttons to push, and what buttons to leave alone ..haha!!

I know of a colleague of mine in China that had a very similar experience to yours. I might at a later date, share what i know happened to him here ...

So what happened with the other guy in your story, is she still playing him??  You could always put him in the picture, you have his email address from your laptop scan. That should, i would think, put her back to ''Square One'' in her scamming game!! ..
Revenge is Good feeling!! ...hahaha!!!

David.....

[ttwjr32]

Thats what i would do write the other man tell him let me introduce myself and procede to tell
him he is being scammed. Getting even is just a waste of time and effort. its like chasing bad
money with good money. and as far as another instance like that why play them? just move on
playing them just wastes to much good time thats available for other things. Dont know your age
Jeff but if your quite a few years older than the lady say 20 or 25 years then the chance of being
played is far greater as the younger ones are very capable of doing a good job at this. Also
immigration takes a real long hard look at these when it comes time to apply for the papers
for her irregardless of the circumstances. the quick interviews go thru and happen when they are
overloaded on interviews of the people who have a significant age difference at the US consulate
here in GZ. when i am in the area 2 times a week i have lunch with a group of people from the USA
and 2 of them work at the consulate and tell some interesting stories so i know they do look at that
a lot more closely than one would think.

[jeffm]

Wow where do I start to reply.  First of all I have to say this situation is embarrassing to tell you guys.  That is why I waited until I couldn't take it anymore.  I am man enough to admit that it hurt like hell.  Sorry for the language, but my mindset isn't where it normally is.  

Arnold - yes i do agree and i usually take the high road these days, but to me given the situation this person needs to be stopped.  When my daughter gets hurt I want the kill shot so to speak.  

David - I always like your bluntness.  In fact I want it straight. No other way for me.  That is interesting that the UK looks at Nanning a little closer.  They must have had experiences in the past. What are the issues? Prostitution?

As far as age when I first wrote a girl from her agency my age criteria on Chnlove was 28 to 39.  I was 48 at that time last year, and I even had a hard time with 28 let alone a 23 year old.  I was writing the member for a month, but it was my translator actually.  Her letters were outstanding and each one of my replies was quite long.  My translator (my ex) arranged a web cam for me and the member.  This girl drove from Wuzhou which is about a 5 hours bus ride for this web cam meeting.  I was humbled she would do such a thing.  A side note is that in February of last year I was only in Chnlove for 3 months.  So I was green.  When we had the web cam it lasted for maybe 10 minutes.  During that time she hardly said anything and acted liked she didn’t even know about all of this letter writing.  I asked my translator “why would she come all this way for 10 minutes”?  Her reply was “she had to get back to her business”.  From that point on we spent countless hours on skype texting, but it was only on a friend level.  She still sent me profiles while we texted.  I have to say it appeared we connected.  It appeared the chemistry was there.  I didn’t make a move (mentioning how well we get along) until maybe 3 weeks later of which her reply was that she was not pretty and a little chunky.  She knew I was picky on looks.  I thought to myself well too bad because I am really feeling right about her.  Fast forward to April and my Beijing visit for business.  I was to go to Nanning to actually see two other girls from the other agency in Nanning.  I was supposed to stop and see her briefly to bring her starbucks coffee which are non-existent in Nanning.  I couldn’t make it, and she flew to Beijing to see me after she sent me pictures of her for the first time.  She was good looking enough for me, so I gave the go ahead to come lol.  The meeting confirmed our feelings and the rest is history.

Her scam was to get a visa, and she knew that I was new to this process, so like many other western guys that are new we have the tendency to believe these sweet talking girls.  By the way her buzz line was that she was a “simple traditional Chinese girl”.  During our relationship she admitted to me that she got pregnant when she was 18 years old.  Hardly a simple traditional Chinese girl.  The game is what you would see from a Philippine girl in my opinion.  Integrate into the family and when the prize is won then move on to bigger things or keep the guy and still move on.  It would take him being extremely ignorant though.  

I would like to read that story someday of your colleague.

The other guy?  Listen to this lol.  She arranged a meeting with him and a girl from their agency.  He flew in from Belgium to meet this girl.  He ended up liking the translator more than this girl.  I could imagine what signs she was giving off to him.  We all know the signs women can give to let us know to approach them.  The first meeting was in May with the agency member and the translator.  In the meantime we planned a trip together in HK and then to Beijing for two weeks from June 1st to the 15th.  This guy came back in July and they met in Nanning for about 10 days.  They met again in August in Zhuhai.  Right after she filed for a visitor visa to Belgium and spent September to December in Belgium.  Came back and reapplied and is there learning Dutch in a school.  Her goal actually was to go to Paris and learn French.  So she is close to that goal. I predict once she finishes school there she will already have another guy in play and my guess will be from Paris.  You know the rest of that story.  She will leave this Belgium guy out to dry.  He sounds more naive than I was even lol.  Trust me David I have already done that.  I am trying to contact him to warn him of the scam he is in.  He has 3 young children too.  The texting was through Yahoo messenger so I got his profile, which translates into an email address along with three other guys that she was talking to.  I hope he responds to me, so I can give him all the information I have on her, but as you know sometimes guys can be absolutely stupid if their brains are in their d***.  By the way I also sent emails to the other three profiles in the hope that one of them knows this guy.  I think one of the profiles is a colleague of his.  I believe their company has an office in Zhuhai.  If I can destroy her game to where she has to return to China then I will feel vindicated, but it will take this guy to wake up.  I also can get even dirtier and send a letter to her mother who never knew her daughter had an abortion at 18 years old.  She asked me to never tell her mother this, so I know I can cause a little havoc at home.  And you know what I have absolutely no remorse.  When someone hurts my daughter I go for the kill shot.  I do have an international company that could track down where exactly they are at in Belgium.  My guess is that it is more north because of the Dutch language spoken. You would probably know this. So this aint over.  I want the kill shot (again figuratively speaking).

Ted – Getting even is telling this guy what is going on.  Ted I am 49 now, but trust me let another young one try to play a game on me.  I will play her like she’s never been played.  I have game if I want to.  I’ve been single all my life and I’ve seen a lot, so I will teach another young one how the game is played.  I left my game several years ago after I had my children were born, but now my mindset has changed.  I am almost gonna dare another to play me lol.  I will be in Shenzhen all of March.  Ted I would like to try and make it over to have a cup of coffee with you.  

At what point do the flags go up for them to investigate closer with age difference.  I did think about that while we were together.  I thought we might be given a little trouble.  She probably also did her due diligence and found out it was easier to get into Belgium, but it is only a guess. Maybe you guys know how easy it is to get in that country.

All I know is I am really really pissed about this development.  Sorry by my long reply.  I guess you can see how passionate about this issue.  And thanks for the feedback.  I need it.

[ttwjr32]

that would be great to see you in march and if i could get away from my work maybe
i could go there

[odysseus007]

Jeff,
That was quite a story! Which agency was that? Perhaps you can warn others here after you have your kill shot. Could you PM me if it is ok by you? I will not contact anybody from that agency just to be safe. I am talking to some from Nanning, but one never knows if it is the same one?
Seeing the letters will go a long way towards recognizing the scam, but it may also be more private than you may want to show. The best revenge IMHO is to let the whole world know so nobody ever falls for her scam again. I know we cannot tell the whole world, but at least the brothers here will know?
Larry

[jeffm]

Larry - In hindsight the game very much resembled what a Philippine girl would do.  Integrate into the family.  Shed tears to profess her love.  I still archived several vm's, and if you heard them you would be impressed.  Crying, choking up telling me how much she loved me and couldn't live without me, and this is when I dumped her in May, because I felt something was up, but felt bad with the crying and choking up and the 15 calls at 2 and 3am until I had to answer the phone so I could get to sleep. She like outwilled me at 3am and kept me up until dawn until she broke me down to come back to her. Damn lol she was determined.  There was only one person who was this good and she was the last American girl I dated.  She was a diagnosed Bipolar disorder girl.  She was so good it impressed me actually lol.  She could play with the best poker players in Las Vegas.  If you know anything about Bipolars they are the best liars you will ever come across.  Two personalities.   I came to the conclusion that she too could be Bipolar.  China as far as I know is not high on psychologists and the practice of.  

I will PM you as I have work to do still with this issue.  I need to protect some information for awhile, but I will help as much as I can.  I don't think it could be her she is living in Belgium, but I have seen her translate letters from afar, so it is possible.  I do know that I have written couple of girls there late last year and I could tell that the translators might know who I am.  Not entirely sure, but will know soon when I pay a visit.  

Larry this is so much more to this story.

[odysseus007]

Larry - In hindsight the game very much resembled what a Philippine girl would do.  Integrate into the family.  Shed tears to profess her love.  I still archived several vm's, and if you heard them you would be impressed.  Crying, choking up telling me how much she loved me and couldn't live without me, and this is when I dumped her in May, because I felt something was up, but felt bad with the crying and choking up and the 15 calls at 2 and 3am until I had to answer the phone so I could get to sleep. She like outwilled me at 3am and kept me up until dawn until she broke me down to come back to her. Damn lol she was determined.  There was only one person who was this good and she was the last American girl I dated.  She was a diagnosed Bipolar disorder girl.  She was so good it impressed me actually lol.  She could play with the best poker players in Las Vegas.  If you know anything about Bipolars they are the best liars you will ever come across.  Two personalities.   I came to the conclusion that she too could be Bipolar.  China as far as I know is not high on psychologists and the practice of.  

I will PM you as I have work to do still with this issue.  I need to protect some information for awhile, but I will help as much as I can.  I don't think it could be her she is living in Belgium, but I have seen her translate letters from afar, so it is possible.  I do know that I have written couple of girls there late last year and I could tell that the translators might know who I am.  Not entirely sure, but will know soon when I pay a visit.  

Larry this is so much more to this story.

IMHO the calls at 3am is just showing inconsideration - China (& Singapore where I live) is 12-16 hours ahead of US, so I am usually considerate enough not to call my US friends at some ghostly hour. Tears etc are emotional blackmail when logic fails. As a precaution I always test the gals, and if they fail I block them. I don't think I would ever date a translator unless I met her directly. I once got infatuated with a very smart & pretty translator gal who speaks very good English, well she did not scam me or anything, but I also didn't get the gal. She later married some Dutch guy a few months later.

[David5o]

Jeffm,

Not sure about the prostitution side of things, ...maybe!! But there is a strong case for females acquiring marriage Visa's fraudulently, along with other types of visa scams. Shanghai is the most watched by the UK immigration, all sorts of scams seem to emanate from there. And yes, when the age difference is large, they want to know far more about the lady in question, and that can set you back months. Even then, they have the power to apply restrictions on the lady, regarding to the visa they eventually issue...

I don't know what the US immigration stand is, on such marriages, but i would guess they would be just as sceptical as the UK are, and would want to satisfy themselves this is not a ''marriage of convienience'' on the part of the woman to gain a residence/work visa (in your case ''Green Card'')

Yes, i will get round to posting about that colleague, soon...lol!!!

David....

[jeffm]

Larry - In hindsight the game very much resembled what a Philippine girl would do.  Integrate into the family.  Shed tears to profess her love.  I still archived several vm's, and if you heard them you would be impressed.  Crying, choking up telling me how much she loved me and couldn't live without me, and this is when I dumped her in May, because I felt something was up, but felt bad with the crying and choking up and the 15 calls at 2 and 3am until I had to answer the phone so I could get to sleep. She like outwilled me at 3am and kept me up until dawn until she broke me down to come back to her. Damn lol she was determined.  There was only one person who was this good and she was the last American girl I dated.  She was a diagnosed Bipolar disorder girl.  She was so good it impressed me actually lol.  She could play with the best poker players in Las Vegas.  If you know anything about Bipolars they are the best liars you will ever come across.  Two personalities.   I came to the conclusion that she too could be Bipolar.  China as far as I know is not high on psychologists and the practice of.  

I will PM you as I have work to do still with this issue.  I need to protect some information for awhile, but I will help as much as I can.  I don't think it could be her she is living in Belgium, but I have seen her translate letters from afar, so it is possible.  I do know that I have written couple of girls there late last year and I could tell that the translators might know who I am.  Not entirely sure, but will know soon when I pay a visit.  

Larry this is so much more to this story.

IMHO the calls at 3am is just showing inconsideration - China (& Singapore where I live) is 12-16 hours ahead of US, so I am usually considerate enough not to call my US friends at some ghostly hour. Tears etc are emotional blackmail when logic fails. As a precaution I always test the gals, and if they fail I block them. I don't think I would ever date a translator unless I met her directly. I once got infatuated with a very smart & pretty translator gal who speaks very good English, well she did not scam me or anything, but I also didn't get the gal. She later married some Dutch guy a few months later.

Married a few months later?  Lol what is it the with Dutch guys.  Are they an easy play or what?  No offense to any Dutch guys on the board.

[Carnegie]

It's all about living and learning.  Thanks for sharing your story, though.  Naivete happens to everyone.

[ttwjr32]

they can be very convincing but if you look for the hidden signs or
messages then you can pick up on it. like with my first chinese wife
she always had someting bad to say about china so i guess if i would
have dug in deeper on the conversations i would have realized it was
for a visa to USA but i wast thinking right i guess and got scammed.
at least she didnt burn me for cash also. or for a new wardrobe.

[odysseus007]

[/quote]

Married a few months later?  Lol what is it the with Dutch guys.  Are they an easy play or what?  No offense to any Dutch guys on the board.
[/quote]

I think it is something personal, she had a Dutch businessman who is sort of like her boss, and she has a lil bit of Dutch blood going back 3 generations. Prolly was her plan all along to go live in Holland. For her anyway, it wasn't a bridge too far !

[brett]

Crikey, that's a hell of a story.

I'll tell you guys though that on the plane to Beijing I sat next to an English expat who had lived in Beijing for years. Do not trust the Chinese, he told me.

Yes I know it's wrong to tar an entire country with the same brush, but it's something I will always be aware of. Even though my beloved Miss Wu was pretty honest, I have to say that she was a little economical with the truth about her smoking habit :icon_cheesygrin:!