bringing a engagement ring to China - customs problems?

[David E]

Well I dont agree with this... !!!

An engagement ring is a big part of Western Tradition, even though it might not have the same significance to Chinese folk.

I bought Ming a ring...because it is MY way of making a committment to her, and she knows this. If you dont believe in such symbols...so be it.

If you buy a cheap cubic zirconia...then only you will need to know what it symbolises. But for many centuries, the emotional value of a diamond says something to me.

And Ming wears her ring 24/7...she says she will never take it off...not because it is valuable, but because it came from my heart !!

David

[metooap]

Well I dont agree with this... !!!

An engagement ring is a big part of Western Tradition, even though it might not have the same significance to Chinese folk.

I bought Ming a ring...because it is MY way of making a committment to her, and she knows this. If you dont believe in such symbols...so be it.

If you buy a cheap cubic zirconia...then only you will need to know what it symbolises. But for many centuries, the emotional value of a diamond says something to me.

And Ming wears her ring 24/7...she says she will never take it off...not because it is valuable, but because it came from my heart !!

David

David,

I could not have said it better.

Personally to me a ring is a commitment that comes from the heart.

Xiang mei, has yet to take her ring off. She tells me it is a symbol of our love and devotion to each other.

The value of the ring is more important to some than to others. More likely than not, we all buy what we can afford too. Now I am sure we can all use a house full of furniture, yet I understand quite clearly that I am a romantic. I look for a special kind of love - that comes from the heart.

I do not plan on doing this marriage thing again. So I want to give Xiang mei something that is from my heart, and that she can look at when the sun has long set on my life. Something that symbolizes, commitment, devotion, and love.

We each have different ways of doing things. Yet for me, I suspect, a beautiful diamond ring like our commitment to each other, will stand the test of time, far better than a shining piece of furniture.

If we are lucky, maybe just maybe that diamond ring, can be passed on to a daughter or son, or their daughters and sons -  who in passing - can perhaps think about the powerful love that helped to create their lives, in spite of the odds, in spite of differences, in culture, distance, customs and other challenges we surely face.

So whether a half carat, two carats, or no carats it is not about the money, it is about commitment, responsibility, family, devotion, and love.

Alton

[Arnold]

I'm strongly with David on this . My Ring shows what she means to me and her wearing it when we go out means how much she love's me not to forget to wear it . If excuses arrive , something is not right in that Relationship . I too would never be without mine on my Finger as it DOES sybolises to other looker's (Women) I'm taken . Why would I not want to give that impression to other Lady's ?

[Willy The Londoner]

You get no indication here whether a women is married here or not.  Very few ever wear a ring and my wife did not really want one.   But me, I insisted on was my right as a husband to labelled her 'as taken'.  Expense was no object and she had the choice of a complete jewellery store.

 I will not embarrass her by saying how eggstravagent she was with my money but I can tell you that there was not much change out of a hundred dollars!!!!!  :icon_cool:

Still it was money well spent and I doubt if I have time to do it all again.  

Willy

[ttwjr32]

Sisi was the same way when we went to buy the ring as i wanted her
input she picked out a modest one that she wears but she doesnt wear it at work
in the office just every were else. she says she sits at a desk all day and doesnt need to wear it
there but wears it every were else. now the necklace i bought her for xmas she wears everywere
and only takes off to shower then puts back on

[Vince G]

When we discussed this Song didn't want an big engagement ring. She said it was not necessary, but if I insist she would have a small one? She doesn't what to have the attraction. She's afraid someone may rob her or steal it? But she does like the idea of the wedding band as long as it's not to fancy. So I agreed to take her to look and we'll figure it out later.

[Willy The Londoner]

Sisi was the same way when we went to buy the ring as i wanted her
input she picked out a modest one that she wears but she doesnt wear it at work
in the office just every were else. she says she sits at a desk all day and doesnt need to wear it
there but wears it every were else. now the necklace i bought her for xmas she wears everywere
and only takes off to shower then puts back on

I won't let my wife wear her Gold wedding ring in the shower - I don't want it to rust do I!!!!!

Willy

[Buzz]

Well I dont agree with this... !!!

An engagement ring is a big part of Western Tradition, even though it might not have the same significance to Chinese folk.

David

Well said.  When I asked Xiuru about a ring, her reply was that it was not her tradition to wear one.  Her younger sister replied, " you are going to be a wife of an American,  you need to understand and accept his customs as he is trying to do with china's customs ".  We sometimes forget that we do not always have to bend to the chinese way of thought, or expect that our wives accept our customs and beliefs in total.  There is a balance to be made and in this case, a wedding band is the solution for Xiuru and I.  No engagement ring, just a very simple "has to be gold color" wedding band.  

buzz

[ttwjr32]

absolutely correct Buzz you need to blend both cultures in
these relationships or they dont work out. especially if the
lady moves to your country. if you just stick to all chinese
customs then it wont work in the long run. it amazes me
sometimes that people dont talk more about this as they are
getting to know each other. its a very big aspect of the relationship
and should be discussed. also the language should be learned on both sides
not just one side  just my thoughts ad observations on the people i know
who have very great relationships which also includes myself. i wouldnt
want a self servant obedient woman who beckons at my every need
we need to work together to make it work

[UK Mark]

Im glad to say Sissi wears her wedding ring and engagement ring , although the engagement ring she wears on another finger .

Following on from the general opinion on chinese women being frugal , i had to laugh when after asking sissi if she wanted the rings resized the reply was how much will they pay me for the removed piece of gold , when i told her i actually had to pay she was gobsmacked haha !

[ttwjr32]

Thats to funny Mark but you have to really respect their thinking:icon_cheesygrin:

by the way my wifes name is Siying and she has everyone call her Sisi also

i wish i was with her when i worked for the oil companies and made the money i
made she would have made me a gazilionaire with her frugal ways.

[jeffm]

Arnold,

2 carats?? On a Chinese ladies tiny finger?? ...Jeez, it'll look like a knuckle duster!!  ...lol!!
Most Chinese women like the petite look, especially when it's a ring they have to wear daily....

David.......

LOL good one

[chen yan]

If we are lucky, maybe just maybe that diamond ring, can be passed on to a daughter or son, or their daughters and sons -  who in passing - can perhaps think about the powerful love that helped to create their lives, in spite of the odds, in spite of differences, in culture, distance, customs and other challenges we surely face.

So whether a half carat, two carats, or no carats it is not about the money, it is about commitment, responsibility, family, devotion, and love.

Alton

Hello Alton, These words you said is very touching!

[jeffm]

From doing my research it would seem that the best place for me to buy an engagement ring is in Antwerp in Belgium (Ryanair do cheap flights to Brussels from Dublin) as this is the main certification place for diamonds you can buy them at close to wholesale prices there.

I've a pretty good idea what's involved there from talking to friends here. I don't want to buy in China because !) Quality and authenticity are going to be doubtful imho and 2) They will be no cheaper there

So what about going through customs with an expensive engagement ring, likely to cause problems?

I'll be getting her ring in Belgium also.  I just so happened to luck out.  My director's husband is working just over the boarder in Germany.  It's about a two-hour drive according to him. He's been there looking at replacing the one for his wife.  I'll have him get mine there.  I guess the only question for me is how safe is it to ship to the U.S..  This saves me from the cost of flying there and hotel costs.  I didn't actually get to the point of doing the math, but I guessed that I still would be getting more for the buck.  Now I know I'll be getting a screamin deal lol.

[jeffm]

Yes Fedex and  UPS has  insurance.  I guess I should have rephrased my post to really say "what are the chances it arrives" lol.  It would be a real pain in the arse going through the dog and pony show in retrieving the money especially if I was under a time constraint on when I was going to  China.  

I was thinking that jewelry isn't exactly something that one sees being shipped a lot.