Thank you everybody for your posts. If I didn't have the same doubts as you, I would not have started this thread. I have been too trusting at times, but like has been said a few times, where is a relationship without trust? I have not had all of the information, but like has also been said, Chinese women do not tell you everything. Sometimes they do not tell you anything. I have been guilty of letting my heart rule my head at times, but I do trust her, for better or for worse. I don't know if it is significant, but she has told me of this ridiculous situation now, rather than after we had been living together for months. Does this mean she is honest or dishonest?
Anyway, my head and my heart have spoken and have given her a practical ultimatum.
1. I will not give her husband one penny, one red cent, one silver yuan.
2. As we planned to have a child, if I had to stay in England, we would have to get married now, otherwise she would not be able to come to England. And if she could not come to England, we would not be able to have a child. I'm not waiting for 3 years and I know she would not want to have a child when she is 40, which is how old she will be in three years.
So, I am not running away. But I have given her my decision. If she says no, I will have to end it. In the end, it comes down to practicality, I would not be able to support a family and pay extortion money at the same time. Simple.
If her reply is in the negative, then I will have to end it. Then I have a flight to Guangzhou on the 5th April to take and a two-week holiday in which I may gatecrash some Ted and Willy parties. Watch this space.