All About China > Understanding Chinese Women

"Good girls"

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matthifre:
I open this thread because this is really something I think about. It has to do with a special experience I made on my last visit in China. I fall in love with a girl who already had a fiancé. But we loved each other and it was very hot.
Her fiancé is an Austrian guy and she sees him only a few times a year now. He left Shanghai back to Austria. But he will help her to study abroad.
So she says she loves me but cannot come to me because her family wants her to marry this guy. After three years she cannot change man, else she is a" bad gir".

Of course, I know, she is interested to come to Europe quick and he is the quicker way.

So my question is about  "good girls". What is expected from a girl in China to be a good girl? Do the Chinese girls want or need  to be "good" because else they will be banned from family and friends? Are they under pressure to behave like the family wants?

Best regards

Matthi

cHi:
I fear that this is a touchy issue and spells disaster in many ways.  While family opinion is always very important in the eastern culture, there are women who will fight more for something they want (if it's not what the family thinks is best) harder than others.  My biggest concern, however, is how you and this woman fell in love if she was already with another man - even if she rarely sees him.  Is this something that she kept from you for a while, or were you aware of the situation and continued to pursue?  It's a very sticky situation and I can see no solution where everyone can be happy about it

Rhonald:
I would suggest reading a book by Leslie T, Chang called "Factory Girls". It is mainly about the migrant factory workers but gives an insight on how the younger girls view family pressure in modern China.

Shane:
all i can say .. takes trust.. and faith..
and hopefully loyalty
other wise was doomed from the start thats why the call it love.. you must give all unconditionally





--- Quote from: 'Rhonald' pid='3016' dateline='1242430229' ---
I would suggest reading a book by Leslie T, Chang called "Factory Girls". It is mainly about the migrant factory workers but gives an insight on how the younger girls view family pressure in modern China.

--- End quote ---
is the movie version out yet ?

China Shark:
The way I see it is lose lose if she is a traditional Chinese girl. First one on Chnlove had to walk away from because of familie's disapproval of me. It sucks but nine out of ten times the family always takes number one priority. Start investing time in someone you really have a chance of getting.
China Shark Mike

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