Ladies who don't speak English

[brett]

Hi all,

Has anyone here had much success with the ladies who speak little or no English? Or is it better to keep to those with "Fair" or above (not that it really means much as it's all a bit random really!)

I know a bit of Mandarin now, but once I've talked about food, the weather, my family and have told my lady the time I'm all out of material :icon_cheesygrin:.

Thanks :icon_cool:!

[ttwjr32]

Brett,

learn some more mandarin  sorry i could not resist that. i have experience on a daily basis
with trying to talk with ladies who have no english and during that time i find or feel it would
be difficult in a relationship but i dont think an issue that cant be overcome. at least your learning
chinese as i am but i do find it a little difficult. cant seem to retian everything. an open mind and lots
of patience will be needed for this. if you have the chemistry then everything else will work out

[RegnisTheGreat]

I do but then again I speak fluent mandarin.

[David E]

In 7 visits to meet different women in China, I never had any real problem with communication....but we did not attempt to discuss the rise and fall of the Roman Empire, or detailed debates on Unified Economic Theory :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

All these women were "learning" or had "fair" as per their profiles...all these women had almost zero English. I dont think for one moment that the profile english standard has any meaning as far as conversation goes !!!...."fair" means she knows about 10 words,..."learning" means she knows two words and maybe if you are lucky she will learn more so as to converse with you !!!

I had a good quality hand-held translator and a full Professional Translation programme (Transwiz) on my lap-top. So for all normal purposes, we communicated well enough...along with hand signals, a few Chinese words and lots of body language !!

Ming and I first met on QQ in mid-November 2009, her English was poor. At this time now, after daily sessions on QQ for nearly 5 months, as well as the 3 weeks we were together in person, her english has improved out of sight, we can hold a reasonably good conversation in "Chinglish".

Even so, the ability to discuss "in-depth" issues is still limited, and will be for a long time yet. Only after a couple of years "total immersion" will she be able to begin to discuss and debate about conceptual issues, not only day-to-day stuff.

It is very unlikely that you will meet a Chinese woman who already has the ability to converse in conceptual terms...unlikely, but not impossible.

(but I have met many Western Women in the past who have limited vocal ability.......usually they only know a few words of english such as "alimony", " Foreign holidays", "diamonds" and "Ferrari" !!! plus of course..."not tonight dear, I have got a headache ,( which is taught to western women at birth ):icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

Aquisition of language skills is part of your journey together with your Chinese lovely, she already has the most impressive basics of character and looks !!!  It is part of the responsibility you have to her, to be patient and supportive with communication and not to expect miracles of intense conversation on any subject for some time.

If you want to immediately have a ready made, fluent english speaker, with whom you can discuss anything at all, in depth.......stay with Western Women...if you dare take that risk !!!!!!

David

[dude]

Brett,

If your reading "fair" with profiles on chnlove, forget it. They are learning like all the profiles that say "learning". I go to a ToastMasters club here in Changsha, on Thursdays, and even the good speaking Chinese people have difficulty understanding. The larger cities like Shanghai, they will be able to understand you much better due to the "western influence". If it's your intent in finding a lady that speaks good or better English, find sites that offer instant webcam. This way will be better clearcut for you!

At the ToastMasters Club's, here in China, most of the people are trying to keep their English, as they only speak to people daily in Mandarin. There are also ToastMaster Clubs that practice many other languages! ToastMasters has a website too  www.toastmasters.org I know the lady that's current president of the English club here in Changsha...she's 29, single and very beautiful! :icon_cheesygrin:

By-the-way...my wife and I have a successful marriage and she spoke about as many English words, when we first talked, as I speak Mandarin today. She does take English class and speaks better English than the women that have "fair" listed on their profiles! Her advantage is me being here, her English is picking up quickly with daily practice!

[Willy The Londoner]

My wife had no English when we met. Now she gives a perfect rendition of 'Wotcha mate, ows its going.   Long time no see. Ok see yur latar'

One thing for sure it will be a good few years before we can have any arguments!!!

Willy

[Neil]

I can just picture her yelling and screaming in Chinese and Willy standing with a silly grin imagining she's singing his praises.  Ignorance is bliss.

[Hajo]

Well Brett, it seems you can speak more mandarin as I could when I met my wife. Here english was limited to about five words. But never the less. We married after I had been in China for 2 days and she is living by my side today. Her english has improved, my mandarin too. But it is a long way for us to talk real issues. After 6 month together we can do basic talks. It might be different from person to person. Everybody has its own pace of learning.

In a few weeks my wife will start at school to learn Danish. Then I expect to improve things over the next year. Until then we stick to Google's translation sevice on the Internet. In my experience it can be very demanding the first few month, until you know each other better. But with patience on both sides, it worked out.

If you find the right lady, it works out. But how can you tell it is the right one? Close your eyes and listen to your heart. Thats all I can say. I hope it helps.

[Hans]

My lady doesn't speak much English either. She can speak a few simple sentences so we mostly communicate in Chinese. If we stick together in the future, she will have to learn more, though. I've studied Mandarin for over a year now but it feels like I've just scratched the surface. The best way to learn a new language is to use it every day in different situations and I have no way of doing that in Sweden right now.

At first it was frustrating because all we had was Chnlove. Now we rarely use their translation service anymore, I've used it once since January and it was when I needed to write to her about visa and passport issues, which I could not write clearly in Chinese.

Yes, the discussion become pretty shallow. When I visited her in December/January we talked a lot every day but it was mostly about every day issues, the weather, food, and things going on around us. I think we were so happy to just be together at that point that we didn't feel the need for deeper conversation. We don't have any deeper conversations in Chinese now either, although I made an attempt to discuss sex with her recently. She was not very comfortable with it, but at least she replied and we can go from there.

To be perfectly honest: If I could do it all over again I would probably not use Chnlove and I would look for a lady with at least basic English knowledge. It is after all to make things much more complicated to have a girlfriend who doesn't speak basic English. But now it is what it is and each and every one of us in this situation has to make do with it the best we can. I think most of us believe it is worth the effort in the end. It is after all a kind of journey we're doing. And to be honest, the toughest bit is not the language barrier. It's the geographical distance...

[brett]

Thanks guys, there's some interesting stuff here.

I know some basic Mandarin but I'm not sure I would ever become that good. Memorising characters is my strong point and I think I could memorise a few thousand if I had more time.

I will say though, that I live in a pretty scummy area and if you go to my local Tescos there aren't many locals that can speak more than 5 words of English lol :icon_cheesygrin:. I think foreigners are better at speaking English than we are - in my Chinese class there is a German guy and he was amazing us with his knowledge of public school English the other day, stuff like "how are you, old bean?" :icon_cheesygrin:

[David5o]

Brett,


''I think foreigners are better at speaking English than we are''

Speak for yourself, don't tar everyone in the UK with your own lack of English and grammar!!

David....

[ttwjr32]

i think Brett meant that foreigners learn english a lot better than what we
do learning chinese. in other words they speak it a lot more clearly than we
speak chinese clearly. but then again i do think chinese is a little herder because
of the 4 tones which is what i seem to make mistakes on when i am speaking

just my thought on the post

[David5o]

Ted,

No, i don't think so. He was insinuating that those that live in Essex can't speak English correctly, because he thinks there below him or uneducated. He's made similar remarks before about where he lives.  So i just turned the table on him, seeing as he lives there himself!!

He is impressed by all the superficial things in life, that blinds him to just how the real world really works...

David....

[Scottish_Rob]

David....LOL....:angel::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

[David5o]

Rob,

Plus the fact, ... that's where i had lived from childhood, so he's labeling me too!! ....NOT!!
I know the Uni there personally, and where i have taken supplementary professional courses.

David....