having children

[ttwjr32]

To all members.I split these spots off of David E's thread.I thought it was such a important topic.That it deserved its own thread.

Maxx.

Wow David  so many factors involved in this decision that must be
                  discussed between the two of you. but i wouldn't come
                  right out and tell her NO! discuss and re discuss between
                  the two of you and i am sure that the both of you will
                  come to the decision that is right for the both of you

[David5o]

David E,

How old is Ming now??  All i can say here, is that the medical profession say that over 40, and with long spans between births, or first pregnancies. There is the possibilities of many complications for both baby and mother. Those risks increase as the mothers age increases....

David........

[David E]

Yeah Mike....it's like the slow drip...the Chinese water torture...always quietly in the background !!

Dave, I have been through all the potential Medical dangers, she is 44, and long time between pregnancies is not a good prognosis.

I am nealy 60 and I full well know the risks of Fathering a child at my age........never mind the issues of having a teenage child push me around in a wheelchair, while I dribble into my napkin !!!!

I will continue to genly work away at the negatives, and keep re-inforcing the positives, of not having more kids...but its gonna be a long row to hoe :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
David

[Willy The Londoner]

I had better step in here and say at getting closer to 61 each day I reckon kids are great.  Provided they are NOT mine.  

My wifes niece comes to our home about 4 or 5  times a week and at 14 months she is great.  But I am certainly glad that she goes back home after an hour or two.  

Like David E says at our age kids are for younger parents to have.  

How can we enjoy ourself into our twilight years whilst we have a child that needs feeding, changing for a year or two then onto teething and then loosing it teeth then becoming a teenager then a student and then by the time we are really old or probably dead they are wanting to get married have children and dump them on the grandparents whilst they go off to work.

Keep your principles David and say no to drudges.

Willy

[shaun]

Peggy tells me she does not want any more children.  I hope she remains that way.  She doesn't even want to be the full time caretaker of her granddaughter.  She doesn't mind it for a week but that is about her limit.

David, dribbling into a napkin and in a wheel chair is the image I have when the next child would be a teenager.  If my heart survives everything else it will not survive a hot headed 16 year old boy pushing me in a wheel chair.   It will never happen.  I can say that with confidence.  Peggy does not know how to get onto this site, yet.

[odysseus007]

Yeah Mike....it's like the slow drip...the Chinese water torture...always quietly in the background !!

Dave, I have been through all the potential Medical dangers, she is 44, and long time between pregnancies is not a good prognosis.

I am nealy 60 and I full well know the risks of Fathering a child at my age........never mind the issues of having a teenage child push me around in a wheelchair, while I dribble into my napkin !!!!

I will continue to genly work away at the negatives, and keep re-inforcing the positives, of not having more kids...but its gonna be a long row to hoe :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
David

Hmm, ever thought of ADOPTING a certain little Scottish boy? Apparently he's very famous too, hehe... :icon_cheesygrin:

[ttwjr32]

Shaun you were dribbling at the table when you were in Guangzhou
 i told Sisi you just had a hole in your lip  lol!!!!!!!!

[David E]

David, I hope you have a great and memorable trip.  Every time I read your thoughts it brought back mine at that time in my relationship with Gina..   It sounds like you got a good one. And those of us who have been fortunate are waiting for you to join the married ranks. Good on ya mate.  Your trip is just beginning now.  Am really happy for you.
Oh and the baby issue is not dead, dont for a minute believe it is.  it is a scary thought and I never thought I would try for another child but she has me convinced now that it is the right thing to do.  You will probably cave in to, because these women are not to be denied.   Have a safe trip.

Jim

I see Gina has finally got you steered in the direction she wants you to go !!!

I get the same feeling with Ming, in that she will quietly and gently  (and with persistence), pick away at this difficult (for me !!) subject.

I am a bit worried about being slowly drawn into agreeing with her...hence my nerves !! (I know that I am up against an expert here !!)

How did you cope mentally with the idea of another child ??...maybe you are a lot younger than me...and the thought of this gets me very much on edge !!

Cheers

David

[ttwjr32]

as long as you can still help him or her to develop their SKILLS IN LIFE
 and be there to CARE and SUPERVISE their ACTIVITIES and be an ACTIVE
 PARTICIPANT in their LIFE then you are not to old to father a child. remembering
 all the time and patience and nurturing that goes into the raising of the child. if
you keep these points in mind and can answer yes to all and make that commitment
then the age shouldnt be a factor.

[David5o]

Ted,

At nearly 60 years of age, the very last thing on your mind is starting another family!! This is the time to lay back and enjoy the fruits of all those years working and bringing up children. This is supposed to be OUR time in life, to do what we want to do for a change, without the responibilities and commitments for careing about kids !!!

Lets face it, we no longer have the will we had before, or the patience, to be parents of babies and young children. What you talk about above is fine, ....as ''Grandparents'' and then thank god, ...you can hand them back again after a few hours...lol!!!

David....

[David5o]

Ted,


Yes what you say is correct, but there is also the resposiblity of starting another family late on in life. They say that the average life span for a western male is around 70, So in your case if you started another family now, your possibly not going to be around,  much past that childs 16th birthday... That's Probably the worst time in a teenagers life to loose a father. For me, and David E, that child would only be around 11 or 12 years old!!!!

There are so many things that we, as responsible adults should think long and hard about before embarking down these sort of roads, apart from what i've already posted on this thread subject.....

David....

[ttwjr32]

sure but again it is a matter of ones choice. everyone would and will
have a different perspective on this. but i wouldnt go as far as saying
having a child late in life is irresponsible unless of course that child wasnt
planned or wanted then that becomes a irresponsible act. there are many
young people who have children who should never had any children at all.
again its all a matter of a decision to be made by two people what suits one
couple might not suit another.

[David5o]

Ted,

God, your dead right there Ted, about some of these young people. Some of them are not capable of looking after themselves, let alone babies/children. A total lack of knowing what responsbility in life actually means...

But there goes the difference, they lack that maturity to be able to make those important decissions in life!! We on the other hand do, or should have that maturity, and know what our responsibilities are....

David....

[JimB]

Look, my wife doesnt come here or knows how.  I told her we could TRY for a baby.  But that my little men couldnt swim all that well anymore.  I am waiting for her to start helping with the babies here and hoping she will see the work involved and they as grandchildren will fulfill her need.   Seeing that we will be able to do the things we want when we send them back home.  That is my dearest hope anyway. I think she has a need because she has been allowed only one child plus all of her family has only had girls and she wants a boy very very much.  When she told her mother that I had agreed to try, her mother started crying.  So  we will see what happens. Underneath it all.  Part of me does want a son.  But the bigger part tells me the things that David was talking about.  It has to be an individual choice.  There are so many factors to be considered.  Sorry I couldnt help you more.

Jim

[rockycoon]

I for one am too old for this.  The dog and I went to the vet years ago as he had a "twofer" going...:icon_cheesygrin:
Willy don't want kids as he's "all thumbs" at changing dirty diapers...and the chocklet tastes wierd....:icon_cheesygrin:
Shaun is the same year old as me, and raising a teenager would be just too much for that old man....:icon_cheesygrin:
All you younger ones, prepair to own at least half of the kimbi's factory and endure the smell of dirty diapers all over the
house, and living in hell for 18 years, poor broke and starving...:s  
but hey the choice is yours.  For those who are still into it, I suggest you go to the hospital maternity ward and listen
to the kids scream, and smell the air, as this will change your mind quickly...oh and don't forget those 3am feedings
where your the one getting up.  If its a girl, prepaire to shell out all kinds of money on clothes for 18 years also...:-/
well, youve been warned....heh heh....just don't bring em to my house for sitting.....:icon_cheesygrin:

By the way, this is a very interesting thread, a first timer and excellent idea !!!!