Having some doubts...about site and lady

[Willy The Londoner]

I see Zhongshan comes up in a post.  Send me the details of the agency and the women by PM.  Give me the all the details that you have on her and I will check her out.  I live in Zhongshan and I know that the largest agency here does play games and has staff just to play the emf game to the limit and the women know nothing about it.

I know two translators left an agency here this week and the boss was ringing round the ladies on the sites advising them not to speak with them or anyone lese about the agency.

I think that there is a possibility of you being taken for a ride here.

As for travelling if you are coming to Zhongshan then it is far easier to travel to Hong Kong as there are more flights and it is a cheaper route..  You then do not have to leave the terminal to get a ferry direct to Zhongshan.  No point in going all the way to Guangzhou first and catch bus back.

I can always meet you at then ferry terminal and take you to a decent hotel in the city centre.

I run my internet business from here and the conversion rate gives me a good living.

Willy

Just as an addition to the one childs rule.  If a couple marry and they have both been from a one child family then they can have two children.

[Bee964]

Lain,
Hello and welcome to the forum. I just wanted to put in my 2 cents worth here. I have just returned from my meeting with a chinese lady in Snigapore. It did not go well to say the least. I have no regrets though. I got a fantastic trip out of it. You mentioned that you have asked your lady if she had a computer and her reply was that she has no computer at home. I had asked this lady that I went to go meet the same question and got the same response, "I don't have computer at home". As we were sitting in a restaurant having a meal (this is about the time I had told her that she was not the woman for me) she proceeds to pull out a laptop computer out of her purse, boots it up and plugs in a network access USB card and is up and running on the web! I realised that I should have specified my questions a little better to her. She did not have a computer at home, she carried it around with her in her purse. My concern with your lady would be that she has a Chinese facebook page. She updated it pretty quickly with photos of her with flowers that you had sent her. She had access to her page some way.

Another woman has contacted me from another site. We have had only 2 emails exchanged and she wanted to have direct contact. The emails were not through a translator either. They were short and to the point on most things. She knows a little english. We have had several IM's and 2 web cam chats now too. I thought that the phone calls and the texting and the IM's with the other lady in Singapore was good direct contact. We did not have any web cam chats, eventhough her laptop had a built in camera and microphone! I see a world of difference in the communication now. I would say get as much direct contact as possible. Make sure you get answers to your questions that you are satisfied with. Best of luck to you.

Dave C

[Peter]

Hello Lain
My thought about the "sister".... My Chinese daughter always refer to her cousins as her brothers.. It seems they doesn't have any word for cousin..

[mustfocus]

Hi Peter,

Actually, there are words to describe someone's cousin...depending on which side of the family they're on...

Biao ge/jie/mei/di   (Mother's side)
Tang ge/jie/mei/di   (Father's side)

Note the similarities... That said, often, chinese will refer to a cousin as a brother or sister if they're also quite close to that family when describing a relationship to someone, especially if they're not sure of the word (cousin).

[Willy The Londoner]

Hi Peter,

Actually, there are words to describe someone's cousin...depending on which side of the family they're on...

Biao ge/jie/mei/di   (Mother's side)
Tang ge/jie/mei/di   (Father's side)

Note the similarities... That said, often, chinese will refer to a cousin as a brother or sister if they're also quite close to that family when describing a relationship to someone, especially if they're not sure of the word (cousin).

There are words as you say but not many Chinese seem to not use them.  The cousins are described to me on visits as my mothers sisters elder daughter or my fathers sisters younger son or Mothers brothers younger daughter.

I think even for the Chiense the words get too long and sister seems to slip in easier.

Willy

[Martin]

Hi Peter,

Actually, there are words to describe someone's cousin...depending on which side of the family they're on...

Biao ge/jie/mei/di   (Mother's side)
Tang ge/jie/mei/di   (Father's side)

Note the similarities... That said, often, chinese will refer to a cousin as a brother or sister if they're also quite close to that family when describing a relationship to someone, especially if they're not sure of the word (cousin).

My wife refers to all her girlfriends as sister as well.  In the beginning, it got downright confusing, as I no longer knew who was family and who wasn't.  In fact Peter, i think my wife refers to your wife as her sister.

[odysseus007]

The sister & brother thing are sometimes honorifics, just like a black guy mght greet a buddy "Hiya Brudda".

[Lain]

Every attempt to make a "real" line of communication with this lady is met with nothing but excuses. I will be writing one last letter with a more aggressive request/demand for direct communications and if I am refused, or given more excuses than I will cut my losses, and alter my plans to take this trip there on my own terms. I have been wanting to go to China for several years and maybe not having to deal with this on my first trip there may be a blessing in disguise?

All this said, I still sincerely hope that she is a real person, and this is simply a matter of "cold feet" on her behalf. In my business I have dealt with Chinese companies on several occasions and I have come to EXPECT that I am being lied too and given the run-around on addressing major issues.

Ya live and ya learn, it will not deter me from this trip if this was a scam...and since I was already planning this trip to see if I could securely operate my company from behind the "Great Firewall Of China" which I am fairly sure will pose no problem to a person of my technical skills.

It was also my plan to gather information for a return trip for Mandarin classes that may keep me there for an entire year. Given everything I have read about living in China it would seam to me that rather than waste my money I will simply wait until I am living there and do it the old fashioned way.....meet them in person while living there!

[ttwjr32]

Lain,

seems to me that your well grounded in this and like you said it is
more than likely a scam by the agency to create revenue. its a long
time 4 months but lessons learned for the next time. your right if your
living here you will have the opportunity to meet many women of all
ages here who would be interested in talking with you and meeting you.
if you end up around Guangzhou area when you land look me up and i
will offer you assistance.

Ted

[mustfocus]

Hi Peter,

Actually, there are words to describe someone's cousin...depending on which side of the family they're on...

Biao ge/jie/mei/di   (Mother's side)
Tang ge/jie/mei/di   (Father's side)

Note the similarities... That said, often, chinese will refer to a cousin as a brother or sister if they're also quite close to that family when describing a relationship to someone, especially if they're not sure of the word (cousin).

There are words as you say but not many Chinese seem to not use them.  The cousins are described to me on visits as my mothers sisters elder daughter or my fathers sisters younger son or Mothers brothers younger daughter.

I think even for the Chiense the words get too long and sister seems to slip in easier.

Willy

It depends on the person and family.  In my case, when I introduce my mom's best friend's kids to my friends, I simply say cousin, and when they introduce me, I'm their "biao di".  Technically, we're not blood related, but their family is much closer to being my cousins than some of my real cousins.  I've very rarely heard people reciting their family tree as it were to introduce someone. :icon_confused: And usually that's when they're distant relatives (2nd cousins and so on).  But for more immediate members, it's always been cousins...

That said, when you address them, it's often polite to address them as ge ge and mei mei and so on and so forth (or name+brother/sister).  So I would call you Willy-ge ge (now that's a scary thought!)

Wait until you get into the fun of naming uncles and aunties (and if you were much younger, grandma and grandpa) on top of all of this... then your head will start to spin...

[Bee964]

Mustfocus,

I have listened to this on my mandarin audio cd's and it does make your head spin. I got totally confused in what everybody was called, such as "mothers brothers son that is older than me." I gave up trying to learn this for now. I do like Willy-ge ge though! I guess that makes me Bee-ge ge! Haha!

Dave C

[Willy The Londoner]

Ya live and ya learn, it will not deter me from this trip if this was an agency scam...and since I was already planning this trip to see if I could securely operate my company from behind the "Great Firewall Of China" which I am fairly sure will pose no problem to a person of my technical skills.

'
I have no problem operating my business from behind the 'Great Firewall ' and my business is one they like to keep away if they can!

On the rare occasions that I do have a problem I simply clink on Expressvpn and operate through a proxy server in USA or GB.

Willy

[Neil]

You're not in porn are you Willy?  Willy's not your stage name is it?!? Hahah!

I'm just kidding, aren't you in the music business?

[Willy The Londoner]

You're not in porn are you Willy?  Willy's not your stage name is it?!? Hahah!

I'm just kidding, aren't you in the music business?

It not a prop either!!!:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

Specialist music business.  Believe it or not it is Christian Music.  Hence the reason I have problems at times.

I arrange it, record it and sell it.

Willy

[Lain]

I have no problem operating my business from behind the 'Great Firewall ' and my business is one they like to keep away if they can!

On the rare occasions that I do have a problem I simply clink on Expressvpn and operate through a proxy server in USA or GB.

Willy

Well I am not sure what type of business you run from your site, but my network handles thousands of credit card numbers every month and I have exceptionally detailed information on my customers including credit profiles and D&B reports. Over the past 3 years I have lost count of the number of hacking attempts that originated from Chinese IP addresses. In fact in the past year its now virtually a daily thing. Pretty pathetic methods being used, but my system uses a Breach Web Defend.....so no worries here! My concern is based on my laptop being accessed while I am logged in. China uses a real time data filter that can read virtually anything you are accessing while inside China....Read more here...http://rconversation.blogs.com/rconversation/2009/09/chinas-censorship-arms-race-escalates.html

After reading about all the scams and tricks that have been played out I am thinking that maybe I should formulate a "System" for all the chnlove agencies. Or maybe I should just start my own dating website service? :cool: I specialize in SEO (search engine optimization) so I could easily have a competitive site that ranks high in Google in no time at all.