THE FORUM

[ttwjr32]

is it just me or have others noticed that it has gotten pretty
flat and boring here lately. seems like there arent to many posts
being made but yet there are always quite a few people online
everyday? wonder whats going on??

[Arnold]

?:huh:

[ttwjr32]

no dont take it personal Arnold  hahahah

[shaun]

Well, I for one am less apt to post since some of my posts are deleted.  I didn't think I was so controversial.  Behind the scene I have talked with a few who have left over it.  The site is becoming too homogenized.   It is loosing it's flavor of individuality.

[Arnold]

Well, I for one am less apt to post since some of my posts are deleted.  I didn't think I was so controversial.  Behind the scene I have talked with a few who have left over it.  The site is becoming too homogenized.   It is loosing it's flavor of individuality.

Shaun , if this is the very reason this Forum is at the moment not at it's best , then..why not have them speak up and tell us what is bothering them/you or anybody for that matter . Any Post's that get's deleted will always come with an explaination through the PM system . We are all grown ups here and to get insulted by one or two delete's/against ( which should never be without reason ) one's Person should be no reason to just Run and leave this Brotherhood . Or is it this NOT anymore ?
Thank you for expressing your thoughts Shaun , it will makes us aware of this more .. before acting .

[David S]

We got spam'd yesterday, that was kind of fun for a little while.

[David5o]

.

Well, ....Another reason could well be that these guy's are inviting there ladies to visit this Forum. Now they are having to watch what they say here, in any of there posts. I guess maybe it's easier not to post anything, especially if what they would really want to say is controversial!!

So I'll say again, ....unless you know each other really well, and i do mean really well, DON'T invite your ladies here until you DO!! Your just going to be opening a can of worms for yourself....

David....

[Rhonald]

Well this topic's thread I am in agreement with whole hearted. After all, who isn't FOR RUM :fi_lone_ranger: Put a little of the Captain Morgan in ya.

[Martin]

The site is becoming too homogenized. It is loosing it's flavor of individuality.

WOW...to say we are homogenized, and this is what you find insulting.  Personally, I find the use of this word to be pretty insulting.  We are not trying to take any individuality out of here, but rather, have a smooth running ship that works for everyone.  Can you be more specific about what you said that was deleted?  In the past, I have deleted posts that come after another post that was removed...it defeats the purpose of the comments afterward, if the offending post has been removed.

Posts that are going to start a fight between members are also deleted, as are issues of politics, and some issues that are politically sensitive.  I feel we are pretty open here for the most part.  While we try to steer away from politics, we have no problems with people expressing religious views, as long as they are not critical of other people's views.

If you want to discus this further, please feel free to send me a PM, and we will see if we can straighten it out to your satisfaction.

Main Entry: ho·mog·e·nize
Pronunciation: \h?-?mä-j?-?n?z, h?-\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): ho·mog·e·nized; ho·mog·e·niz·ing
Date: 1886

transitive verb 1 a : to blend (diverse elements) into a uniform mixture b : to make homogeneous
2 a : to reduce to small particles of uniform size and distribute evenly usually in a liquid b : to reduce the particles of so that they are uniformly small and evenly distributed; specifically : to break up the fat globules of (milk) into very fine particlesintransitive verb : to become homogenized

— ho·mog·e·niz·er noun

[shaun]

Martin,

I do know what homogenized means.  I used the word intentionally because it seams that is the direction this site is going.  I am not trying to start a war.  The question was asked, by Ted, what is going on?  I offered my opinion.  That is all.  But consider this.  You are insulted by me using the word homogenized and you have used a few strong words to try and put me in line.  With your most recent post I could say I rest my case.  As an administrator you need to keep your feelings to yourself and not attack someone who posts when a question is asked.  You wonder why some will not offer their opinion?  Look how you are handling my comment.  I am entitled to my opinion.  You can disagree with my opinion but I am still entitled to it.  But to be insulted by it?  Come on Martin, you are better than that.  I never said I was insulted just that I do not post as much because a question was asked.

I thought the purpose of this thread was to explore why posts are down?  That was what I was responding to.  Martin, you and I have disagreed about things before and have never got personal about it.  Let's try and keep it that way please.

Arnold,

Thank you for your comment.  I speak for myself.  The few others that do not post here anymore will have to speak for themselves.  The last 3 posts of mine that have been deleted came without any explanation at all.  There is not a lot of consistency in that regard.

[Buzz]

I left, or avoided the forum for quite a period of time.  My reason was that it was not giving me what I felt I needed.  What I was seeing was "high school cheerleaders" yelling RA RA, or the opposite, (remember Mike).  I have come to accept this forum (for me at least) has two functions.  The first was to get a look at life with a Chinese bride and what to expect when I visited the first time.  I was reading the forum and looking for the experiences of those who have walked the walk, and can now talk the talk that only comes with experience. What turned me away were those that were talking and talking, but had yet or still yet have not walked the talk.  It was repetitve and at times childish.  Now I look at the forum as a place to pass the time until I get my K-1 visa and bring XiuRu here.  I am happy to share where I am in the process, and enjoy hearing from others going thru the process and where their application process is headed.  I also do not mind sharing ideas or my thoughts with those new members that have questions and looking for suggestions (not answers).  I just do not do the small talk and cheer yells well.  I will make my second trip in 3 weeks, and spend the time up north with very little time with family and friends.  I have passed the interview process with family, now I just want time alone with my wife.  So for me, I enjoyed the spirited debates we had earlier, I hope that there are more debates in the future, but I do not see the forum every day.    Just my 2 cents on the issue.  buzz  

Oh and on the K-1 visa process.  A look at the time line of the homeland security department web site for length of time; it is now 5 months from receiving the application to delivery.  That is if there are no requests for additional information.  Just an FYI.

[Chong]

When FaceBook started in November 2008, we heard the same thing. When the new Forum started afterwards, we heard the same thing after awhile. It's a 'circle of life' topic heard on most Forums. As soon as a member goes to China or has a problem with his relationship ... BOOM ... everybody has an opinion.

Nothing wrong with the "Ra Ra" stuff, they're just time filler till the juicy stuff comes.

Like most Forums, we only have a core membership of 50 contributing guys; the rest are casual non-contributing readers. Guys come and go. We're all just waiting for the next nice guy or asshole to make his appearance ... then ... BOOM ...  everybody has an opinion.

[maxx]

As far as it Being a little quite here for the last couple of days.It does happen to all web sites.I know a couple of web sites that I used to visit.They are down to one post a week.It is just the natural flow of things.Next week or the week after.You won't be able to keep up with all the posts.It is nothing to be concerned about.We have new members joining old members leaving.Older members making there first posts.It is just the flow.

I tend to agree with David.About letting your girlfriend or your wife on here.People are not going to post something that there significant other mite read and wreck the relationship.Because said member had a little doubt about his lady.At one time or another.There is allot more to say about this subject.But I think it would turn into book.With allot of hurt feelings at the end.

Shaun mentioned that posts were disappearing.What was the post about? Shaun you said that you know members who have left because we have clamped down on the off thread topics.I know of members who have left.Because the threads did go off into never never land.They told me all the information they were looking for was buried.By the toilet humor.3 members have sent me nasty pm.Because there own personell threads.Have gone off into never never land.It took me a couple of hours to clean one thread up.

One member had such a great Idea for a thread.It was going to be.One of the best threads ever.I restarted the thread twice for the member.Each time I would look at the thread again.Somebody was talking about his electrical.Chinese toilets.Or what ever was on there mind.So I finally just deleted the thread after the member lost interest.Because they couldn't get a answer.To there question.

So you guys tell me Where is a good middle ground.Do we just let the threads go where they will.Or do we try to keep them on track.For each one of us this is a very personell journey.Most people are trying to write of there journey.I would not want my personell story.Trampled on.By another member talking about his first experience with a Chinese toilet.Or how the electrician Has over charged him.Or what you did for a living 30 years ago.What I'm saying is have a little respect for your fellow brothers.

If you want to run your own personell thread off into never never land.That is fine with me.If it is another members thread.That you are trying to run off onto never never land.I'm going to delete your post.And I will probably forget to send you a Pm telling you why I deleted your post.You should know why I ore another mod deleted your post.We are all supposed to be adults here.And the rules of the forum are clearly stated.When you signed up for this forum.

If you feel the need to comment on something that is off topic.David 50 started a thread.Where that is allowed. So you are more then welcome to post your off topic stories and humor there.

[Martin]

Martin,

I do know what homogenized means.  I used the word intentionally because it seams that is the direction this site is going.  I am not trying to start a war.  The question was asked, by Ted, what is going on?  I offered my opinion.  That is all.  But consider this.  You are insulted by me using the word homogenized and you have used a few strong words to try and put me in line.  With your most recent post I could say I rest my case.  As an administrator you need to keep your feelings to yourself and not attack someone who posts when a question is asked.  You wonder why some will not offer their opinion?  Look how you are handling my comment.  I am entitled to my opinion.  You can disagree with my opinion but I am still entitled to it.  But to be insulted by it?  Come on Martin, you are better than that.  I never said I was insulted just that I do not post as much because a question was asked.

I thought the purpose of this thread was to explore why posts are down?  That was what I was responding to.  Martin, you and I have disagreed about things before and have never got personal about it.  Let's try and keep it that way please.

Arnold,

Thank you for your comment.  I speak for myself.  The few others that do not post here anymore will have to speak for themselves.  The last 3 posts of mine that have been deleted came without any explanation at all.  There is not a lot of consistency in that regard.

So you are entitled to your opinion, and I am not?  OK...I will STFU!

[shaun]

Maxx,

I do think a little editing from time to time needs to happen.  I thought that was what splitting posts was all about.  Yes we have all run amuck, me being one of the worst for a while.  It is bothersome that some leave for whatever reason but like you and Chong said, they come and they go.  I think Arnold said that a PM should accompany the deleting of a post.  It is a good idea.

There is no point in dragging my deleted posts up.  My comment was that I was never notified.  The point I was trying to make is that some have left because of it.  I'm still here.

It is simple really.  A question was asked and a response was given.  Thats all.  There have been other valid comments too.  Buzz had a great one.  David 5o's was excellent.  Some have because of the bans that have happened.  One still rants elsewhere.

All in all the mods do a great job it is just a little heavy handed with the deletes right now.  In my opinion.  But my comments is nothing to get upset about.  I am not suggesting that you wipe out the deletes completely.  There is an old saying, "Chep the meat and spit out the bones."  Listen and learn.  If I am the only one who comments about this then Oh well...

Shaun